Keith, 55, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. From an early age he was recognized for being gifted in the Arts. Being a talented dancer and singer helped Keith rise quickly in the theatre world, yet his self-doubt and eagerness to be accepted led him down a dark path. This is a story about redemption.

Keith attended the Baltimore School for the Arts as a voice major and then switched over to dance and got courted by the Dance Theatre of Harlem. He received a full scholarship and moved to New York to pursue ballet. People immediately took notice of his talent and intended to make him into a star.

“It was a really interesting time because once I got to New York, it was like, okay… I’m here… I had a year and a half of training as a ballet dancer, which is not a lot and I’m in a school with all of these people who were hungry for something that I knew nothing about, and it wasn’t one of those things that I was hungry for. But it was something that somebody wanted me to do and I found myself doing that a lot in my life. They saw what I didn’t see.

My mother was always very supportive of me, but I always had some insecurity. I was always a soft kid, being bullied. Overcoming this was difficult, and his own father didn’t help. I remember one time my dad said to me “you’ll never be like your brother.”

That really stuck and manifested into “I’ll never be as good as this person. I’ll never be a good dancer. We carry these insecurities with us throughout our lives. I remember one time as a kid asking my mother, “Why don’t people like me?” and she said, “Everybody’s not going to like you.” I always wanted to be accepted.

I performed in a production of Sophisticated Ladies with Maurice Hines, which was such an adrenaline rush, and I started drinking a lot. I started disconnecting from my friends in New York, because everybody’s working and I was not. Looking back I realize that I was just creating this idea in my head. So then I started making new friends. Once they see that I’m cool we’ll be friends. I started buying drinks for all of my new friends. And then I started buying other things.

I knew these people didn’t really like me. They just liked my money. I was going to have a great time getting high with these people or getting high,period, not with these people. Finally, one time when I was sitting on the floor with a crack pipe in my hand, I looked down at myself and thought,what are you doing? So I called my sister-in-law. She’s a very strong believer, and she said, “I knew that you were going to call.” She took me to church.

I just felt something every time that I went to church. It was like I was crying out. The Pastor suddenly said, “There’s one person that I have to pray for,” so he pointed me out and he told me that they’ve been waiting for me for a long time.

Shortly thereafter, I came to the Helping Up Mission. I started going to the classes, writing, reading, Praying, meditating, and getting stuff out that wasn’t good for me.

These were blessings, gifts, I was given so many things that took me places that I’d never go. That part of my life is over, and I thank You, God, for giving me an opportunity to do all the things that You allowed me to do. I changed paths and got my CDL license.

And then something strong came over me and I started giving myself ballet classes, four or five days a week. I realized, He’s preparing me for something.

Soon people were asking me to come and teach master classes ballet classes. So I’m thinking, God, what is this that You want me to? I prayed on it and the following day I got a call from a woman who has as a conservatory. She made me an offer that I could not refuse. I cried because I knew I had nothing to do with it. I knew that was God working in my life. You know that this is a gift that I was given. I love the beauty of it.

I teach kids and they come with insecurities, and I totally understand that because I had my insecurities. Having the opportunity to see the same kids six days a week and to watch them grow… I love doing it.

In the dance world Keith felt like an outsider. This past year he has learned what acceptance feels like. It’s just talking to God of acceptance and a welcome of Grace.

I ask for His guidance.

At HUM, I’m fed every day and my blessings are just crazy. It’s crazy. Thank you guys. My compassion for those hurting is stronger, keep a watchful eye on them. I just pray that people can feel good, because we don’t have that long on this Earth. We have so much to be grateful for. That’s something that I hope for, and especially for the guys here. They’re always a part of my prayers. There’s a Holy Spirit that moves through this place. It’s all throughout this building, you know, and I just pray that we find what we need in order to move through life. We just have to get out of His way and let Him do His work.

Eric is 40 years old and from West Baltimore, but moved to Carol County as a child. He explains that his parents were good people and he wanted to be like them. Eric was a good student, and his goal was to become a police officer after college. He recalls, “I wanted to be a detective. I always wanted to protect everything around me and police did that.”

Eric started using at the age of 14 when he saw the cool kids using, and he wanted to be like them. Not long after, he began getting drugs from the city for his friends in the county. Despite his drug use, he managed to continue through school with good grades. He had a teacher who noticed something was going on and confronted him. Eric remembers, “She told me she would help me in any way.”

Shortly after graduation, he was charged with robbery and assault. Although the charges were eventually dropped, Eric was no longer able to attend college to become a police officer. Before he could start college again, Eric got into a street fight and ended up in jail for robbery.

Eric moved to New York to be with the mother of his child and began a pattern of drinking and bad decision making. When he returned to Baltimore, his mother died, and Eric went on a six-month drug run. He explains, “Literally, I was trying to die.” He tried to get clean but instead became addicted to heroin. He and his girlfriend had their children taken from them because of the drugs.

He went through several cycles of getting clean and then messing up. In 2015, he got clean again and was clean until he was in an accident. The doctor prescribed pain medicine and Eric refused to take it at first. Eventually, he was in so much pain that he started taking the pills. After about a week of taking the pills, he decided to come to HUM. Eric said, “I knew I was getting ready to go on a run.” He could tell he was losing control and knew he needed help.

When he came to HUM, Eric “saw people making it. I saw people making themselves make it. I saw there was a whole lot going on in one building.” Even though he didn’t need the majority of what was offered at HUM, he was impressed. He had a place to live and the ability to leave, but Eric decided to stick it out to see what would happen and recently graduated.

Eric shares that he is sure that, “you cannot skip the struggle. That is where the personality is built. That is where the character is built. Anybody, anywhere that skips any struggle when they fall on their face, they are lucky if they get up again. People are dying from that.”

Eric is now the overdose outreach advocate at a nationally known hospital. He goes out into the places of need to help those struggling with addiction and tries to share hope with them. “I care about people seeing who they can be,” Eric explains. He likes providing options. “When I was in the midst of everything, there were no options. You wake up every day, and your intent has to be get money or be prepared to die. I have choices nowadays.”

He believes there is something at HUM that is special. There is no reason this many men who would never even speak to each other in the street can get along at the mission.

Eric feels like he is living right now to help others out. “I feel like my existence right now on this earth is if I am not making it better, don’t touch it.” He is thankful that he got to meet every single person that he met at HUM. When asked about his plans, Eric explains, “I want to try to share the hope that I learned. To me it is real.”

Listen to Eric tell his story on our podcast.

Chris, 56 years old, is one of three sons of an army officer. Chris considered his father his hero. He grew up in thirteen states and three countries before settling in Maryland as a tenth grader. His father was away about eight to ten months a year at that point, so Chris was mostly raised by his mother.

He was very athletic and played football growing up. When he moved to Maryland, he became the starting quarterback on the high school junior varsity team and then quickly was pulled up to the varsity team. As the varsity quarterback, Chris was introduced to drugs and alcohol and a lifestyle he had never before experienced. He found that the drugs gave him the attention and a euphoric feeling of love that he was missing. Although his parents would ask about the drug use, there were no repercussions or accountability. “I was able to do what I wanted as long as I wore that jersey,” Chris recalls.

After high school, Chris started working in the service industry in restaurants and high-end nightclubs. He moved to Colorado to help a friend with a sandwich shop that was having problems. Chris’ father, who was always trying to offer support, bought the shop for him to run. Unfortunately, Chris ended up losing the shop and everything he had because of his drug use. He was homeless and alone, so found his way back to Maryland.

Upon his return to Maryland, his family accepted him, and again Chris had no serious repercussions. The drugs were still how Chris found acceptance and love. He started working back in the high-end restaurant business where he met a woman who he says, “saw my mask. She saw what I was trying to hide.” She called him out for his cocaine use. When she found his cocaine, she told him, “Either do this or be with me and flush that down the toilet.” They got married, and Chris gave up using for several years. When the relationship ended, Chris started using again.

For the next few years, as Chris became disillusioned at work, he started hanging out with a drug dealer and eventually began selling with him. After several arrests and many years of use, Chris saw his friend get arrested once more and realized that he didn’t want that life anymore. He walked away from selling and became homeless. Chris was lucky enough that his girlfriend offered to let him move into her basement. As he sank into depression, she told him that he needed to do something; that Chris was worth more than he was making of himself. He had heard about Helping Up Mission and did some research, but still hesitated. Eventually, his girlfriend brought him to Helping Up Mission, which Chris believes saved his life.

I was broken into pieces

Chris says that he felt like Humpty Dumpty coming into HUM. “I was broken into pieces. My life was just shattered.” After a few months in the program, Chris experienced grace after a mistake and decided to commit to his recovery. At HUM, Chris experienced the healthy repercussions and acceptance that he never completely felt growing up. It has allowed him to understand what he wants for the future. He explains, “I don’t want destruction anymore. I don’t want disintegration anymore. I want Chris back. Not a confusion of euphoric love, but true love. I have found it in so many places here. This is a type of love that will never leave me.”

During his time at HUM, Chris has had multiple healthcare procedures, including a new set of dentures that allow him to speak in public without shame. He also focused his time on preparing for a job that would help him with a new start. “I can give every staff member and everybody I have come in contact with praise for me being responsible again, me being proud of myself, finding my spirituality, opening my eyes.” Chris just started working as a truck driver and is beginning his new life with his focus on the things that are true.

James, 50 years old, is originally from South Carolina. He moved to Baltimore at the age of 14 and started drinking to fit in. Then he saw others using heroin and thought they looked cool. From the time he was 18, he was stealing, lying, and his life was about drinking and drugs.

In 2016, James was living in the woods in South Carolina and found out that his daughter had passed away. He was supposed to come to Maryland to help with his grandchildren, but did not. He recalls, “I couldn’t come right away because I was too wrapped up into using and drinking, just not doing the right things.” He was hoping to get sober on his own and then come to Baltimore, but kept going back to the familiar and kept using. A couple of months later, his granddaughter was about to be put in foster care, so he decided to come to Maryland. A friend tried to help get him into treatment and offered to help pay for the trip.

While James was waiting for the train to Baltimore, he saw someone he knew and decided to go with him to get a bite to eat and a couple of drinks for the train ride. He explains, “The next thing I know I was waking up in [the] hospital. They had robbed me and stabbed me and pushed me out the car on the side of the road. [They] left me for dead. It was pretty bad. I couldn’t walk for about two months; I had to learn how to walk again.”

Once he was able, James felt determined to come to Baltimore to see his granddaughter. When he got off the train, James had a seizure and ended up at the University of Maryland hospital. There, someone told him about Helping Up Mission, which at the time, did not interest him.

He explains, “This addiction was beating at me. I felt like I just couldn’t function, I couldn’t be normal unless I had something in me.” So, the next morning, he went to the liquor store and then found a familiar spot under a bridge. That night he had another seizure and was back in the hospital.

Again, the hospital worker told him about HUM and offered to give him a referral. James took the address down and decided he needed to change. He walked to the Mission, hoping that he would not get turned away. At first, he stayed in Overnight Guests Services. James explains, “All I can remember is just being dirty and nasty and wanting to be to myself. I think I was more afraid than anything. I don’t think I was really quite sure whether I was really ready to stop.”

The guys all helped make sure he was okay and got him what he needed. He explains, “They kind of made me feel comfortable.” He admits that he was going through some insecurity problems and wasn’t very patient. He was about to leave when one of the guys encouraged him to give it a chance. “Ever since then, I just dug in, I dug in deep.” When he didn’t believe he could do it, his friend told him just to give it until tomorrow. James points out that his friend Jeffery is his special angel because he would not give up on James.

Once he started going to the classes and met with his counselor, James began to feel comfortable. The counselor helped him with his grief over losing his daughter and encouraged him to trust people again after the stabbing.

Be patient, buckle down, and keep moving forward

Throughout his time at HUM, James focused on getting custody of his granddaughter. He had a lot in his background that made the process challenging. Despite the frustrations, he learned to be patient, buckle down, and keep moving forward. James explains, “The HUM has taught me that. Those are some of the tools they have given me and showed me how to use. I just cannot thank the people around here [at HUM] enough. It is awesome.”

I thought I was going to die in the streets

James also knows that, “[HUM] helped me learn how to get connected to God again.” He grew up in the church, but shares, “I got disconnected with the church in my late twenties. Now, I know that [God] has had his hands on me the entire way. It took me to get clean and sober to recognize that. I closed my mind on that for a long time, but since being here and going to chapel every morning and hearing the word, I believe. I can feel it in my bones. He took an old, wretched guy like myself from out the woods and under the bridge and put me in a house, clean and sober. It is unbelievable. I never thought it would happen. I thought I was going to die in the streets; it is all I knew. It is all I loved.”

James has a new life and is renewing his relationships. He has a job working in a warehouse and enjoys it. James also has a place of his own and is ready to make a home for his family. He shares, “I never thought I would be where I am at now.” James is also thankful that his family never stopped believing in him and explains, “Now today…they are always saying, ‘You are back to yourself.’” Thanks to you, James has a chance at a fresh start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I was drinking a lot. I had given up.”

Jeff is 50 years old, and this is his third time at Helping Up Mission. He could tell
you about the challenging environment he grew up in, but instead, Jeff is looking
forward to a wonderful future with God and would rather talk about that.

Last December, Jeff came to HUM after a close call with death. He had been in the
hospital with pneumonia, renal failure, and a stroke. Jeff was in a coma for two weeks.
He tried to get it all together after the health scare but was struggling to keep a roof over
his head. Jeff recalls, “I was drinking a lot. I had given up. I was done. I didn’t want to
wake up; I was tired.”

Instead of giving up, Jeff decided he wanted to get clean and wanted to
come back to HUM. This time around, he understood that he needed to focus on his
relationship with God. “I let Him show me the people I needed to talk to, let him teach
me, and talk to me in His way. [Eventually], I got stronger.”

For the first time, Jeff realized that he had to take an honest look at his life. He
felt safe enough to tell his therapist that, even though he had graduated high school,
he had a problem reading and writing. Jeff knew this was holding him back. He
had always been a good worker and was promoted quickly. However, once he got to
a position where he had to read and write, Jeff would leave the job and start drinking
rather than tell his boss about his issues.

Now, he is working with a tutor to gain confidence in these skills.
Not only has Jeff been working on his education, he is also taking full advantage of
the variety of opportunities he has at HUM.

With the Workforce Development staff and volunteers, Jeff has taken courses in
financial planning, resume writing and other classes, including doing mock
interviews that will prepare him to return to work. Attendance is also essential
to Jeff, and he practices that skill at the mission. He proudly announces,
“Anything I sign up for, I make sure that I don’t miss it.” He had not missed a day
of his work therapy assignment as a floor tech, even when he was sick earlier
this year.

This attitude led to an interview and job offer for Jeff at a local hospital.
Unfortunately, the hospital was close to his old hangouts. He spoke with
his counselor and others at HUM and decided that he was not ready for that
situation. Jeff felt that taking the job would not be the best thing for his
recovery. He cried (in a good way) after that decision, “I realized that my life
finally meant something to me.”

I have a relationship with God

During that time, he prayed constantly and practiced patience. “I got to the point that I was talking to God all
day, and now I have a relationship with God.” Jeff didn’t give up and recently
started working at Johns Hopkins Hospital in the linen department. He
is working evenings so that he can continue studying with his tutor and
finish up with much of the medical work that he was able to address when he
returned to HUM.

Jeff is thankful for his new beginning

Jeff is thankful for his new beginning. He knows that God and his recovery
come first. He also understands that God works through people. “I am not doing
this by myself.” Jeff wants to build on the relationships he has formed with his
counselors and treatment staff here at HUM. He explains, “This place means
more to me now than it ever did before. I knew what a grown man could do
coming in here and surrendering. I knew what this place offered. If you just do it
the right way, you can go far.”

It isn’t just the staff at HUM who have helped Jeff. He says, “I want to
thank all of the donors for giving me a place to get another chance at life so I
can finally be the person I have always wanted.” This Christmas when Jeff
graduates, he has a fresh start and can celebrate the gift he gave himself when
he chose to return to HUM last year.

John, 50 years old, was born at Baltimore Memorial Hospital as one of six kids. He graduated from Arundel Senior High where he played baseball and ran track. He was especially close to his mom growing up but admits, “I was a curious kid, so I always stayed in some kind of trouble. She always had her hands on me.” His father was around but was not very involved in his life.

At “the age of 16 or 17 years old, I basically went on my own path” and began hanging out and smoking marijuana. After John graduated, he worked at a racquetball club and watched people playing the sport. “I started to fall in love with the game. I used to sneak on the back courts on my days off.” The club pro taught him a few strokes and soon John was beating everyone around. He got sponsored and became a semi-pro racquetball player. “The thing that killed me with that is I would go to tournaments with nobody watching me, nobody behind me. I felt kind of lonely at tournaments and got introduced to cocaine.”

He met his first wife in the racquetball club, but after she became pregnant, she left him because of his drug use. She moved to Montana and John followed her. He remembers, “My dad didn’t have nothing to do with me when I was a kid, and I wasn’t going to do that to my child.” He started going to 12 step programs, but couldn’t relate because everyone in those groups was an alcoholic. “They didn’t want to hear my story, and I couldn’t tell my story.” John and his wife got divorced and then remarried. When they were apart for a year or two, he went on using sprees. They divorced again and, after seventeen years in Montana, John moved back to Maryland and went back to his cocaine and his life as a “go fast boy.”

John came to HUM for the first time in 2012 because he was “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” He was dating a girl whose brother was at HUM. He stayed for several months but got in trouble while away for the weekend and couldn’t make it back to HUM. “It ate at me because I was doing the right thing and let the wrong thing happen. I eventually knew that I was coming back here.”

John stayed clean for almost three years. But, he started dwelling on all of the problems going on. His mother was battling cancer, and his brother passed away. He thought, “I didn’t come home for this.” He missed his son, but John says that his past using “was shaming me from keeping in touch with him.” After his mom had lost her battle with cancer, John says “I fell right back in the boat I always fell back in.”

His girlfriend wanted him to get help and called around. Eventually, John told her to bring him to HUM. “In my own mind, I always knew I was going to come back.”

John ran track in high school, the 440-yard dash and some long distances. When he was at HUM in 2012, he joined Back on My Feet and ran with them as part of his recovery. Upon returning to HUM, joining a running team was a priority for him. “I went right to my counselor and told him I need to get back on the team.” He explains running “is therapy to me. It puts me at ease. It lets me think, it lets me really think about what’s going on in my life.”

John explains that he isn’t normally one to socialize, but being part of the Back on My Feet team has helped him to relax a little. “When I first joined the team…I wasn’t really a talker and everybody on the team talks. Once I settled in and realized it was okay to talk, they aren’t trying to dig into your business; they are just trying to help you. Once I got that in my mind, I was good with it.” Now, John says his teammates think, “Man he doesn’t shut up.”

The time on the running team encourages John and helps him to help others. “I find myself around the Helping Up Mission talking to guys…trying to show them certain things to do, not to sit up in corners hovered up. I even encouraged some guys to get on the team and just try something different.”

John is currently training to run the marathon in the Baltimore Running Festival in October. He recently finished in the top thirty-five runners in a ten miler with a time of 78 minutes.

In addition to the support he has found in a running group, John also goes to an NA 12 step program. “For me, I am dead in the water without it. You can’t do this alone; it’s just impossible.”

John is proof that good people can make bad choices, and while he may have to live with the consequences of those choices, there is hope. Once he graduates from Helping Up Mission, John plans to stay connected with his support community of HUM, as well as his NA group and will keep running as alumni of Back on My Feet.

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Born into a Marine family in North Carolina, Jackie was one of six children. His parents divorced when he was twelve, so Jackie grew up with his mother and was close to his grandmother who shared her faith with the family.

Not having his father around was quite difficult for Jackie. “The last time I saw my dad was when I was twelve years old and when I saw him again, I was twenty-four,” he shared. Jackie started drinking with older friends when he was sixteen.  “I wanted to do it to try it out.”  Jackie continues, “When I first started using, I just gave up.  When my daddy left, it took a lot out of me. I said well, if I do this, maybe I will get some attention. I got attention, but it wasn’t the right kind of attention.”

By the time he dropped out of high school in 12th grade, Jackie believes that he was already an alcoholic.  He recalls, “Momma told me I’ve got to go or go back to school, so I left the house.” He stayed in the area but would work during the day and drink at night. It only took a few years before he started using drugs.  Jackie continued to drink and use cocaine for many years, working odd jobs and just getting by.

About five years ago, Jackie came to Maryland to see his father who was living in the area and had been diagnosed with cancer.  “When I saw my daddy in the hospital, I made a promise I would stop.  I made a promise to him, and I stopped for a while.  But it took a toll when he died, and I couldn’t help it.” After his father had died, Jackie stayed clean for a while, but gave up and picked back up again. 

A few months later, Jackie had a light stroke.  His wife is a nurse, and she recognized the symptoms.  Even after the stroke, Jackie kept on drinking and doing drugs.  His wife finally gave him the ultimatum: “It’s either the liquor or me.” After that, things just kept going downhill. She left him, “but at the time, I didn’t care,” Jackie said.  He had to move in with his uncle and kept up the drinking and drugs for about three years.

He heard about Helping Up Mission from his cousin, a bishop at a local church. “I was tired,” Jackie remembers, so he agreed to come and was ready for the year-long Spiritual Recovery Program. Jackie recalls that he was worried about coping with all of the other guys at the mission, but he knew he needed HUM.

Jackie shares, “When I got here I asked God to help me stay faithful and humble and to give me patience. I went into the chapel one afternoon, and the choir was singing, and I just felt the power. I wanted to join the choir. Ever since then, I’ve been singing in the choir.” 

His cousin also told Jackie’s wife that he was at HUM, and she came to see him after the 45-day blackout of Seed Phase when residents have no access to computers, cell phones and are not allowed to leave the campus generally. Jackie explains, “She told me that she never gave up on me.  She wanted me to get myself together.” Once she saw his recovery, his wife suggested he move back in, but Jackie wanted to finish up his time at HUM, responding, “I told her I’m not leaving.  I’ve got to do this for me.”

While at the Mission, Jackie was able to participate in Cornerstone, the substance abuse program associated with Johns Hopkins that is embedded at HUM. This program helps residents understand the effects of chemical addiction physically, and employs group therapy sessions. Shortly after he finished up the Cornerstone program, Jackie became an Intern in food services at the Mission. 

Jackie is going to take full advantage of every opportunity given to him and has decided to not only finish the recovery program, but he has also decided he wants his high school diploma. Jackie has two choices to obtain his high school diploma: the more traditional General Equivalency Diploma based on exams and the National External Diploma Program (NEDP). The NEDP is based on life experiences and course work, such as real life skills like financial budgeting. Both tracks require computer literacy, resume writing and job search skills.  He will benefit from the Innovative Learning Center at the Mission and use the tutors provided to him and other assistance while he prepares for the exam.

After he successfully completes both the Spiritual Recovery Program and his GED, Jackie is looking forward to getting a job and spending more time with his wife and his church. 

When asked about HUM, Jackie says, “This place is awesome. These people will go out of their way to help you out in any way you can.” Jackie wants to thank those who support Helping Up Mission in a variety of ways: “Thank you for all of your offering, dedication, and your donations. You are tremendously helpful people. The volunteers are awesome. They are real good people.”

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Julio knows how it feels to be successful in the world’s eyes, but had to learn to be still and serve in order to succeed in his recovery.

Julio Santana grew up in an upper middle class family in Baltimore.  His father was an electrical engineer and his mother was a dermatologist, both at Johns Hopkins Hospital.  He attended private school where he played football and baseball, and sang in the choir.  His success in high school led him to Tuskegee University.  He graduated from Tuskegee with a degree in finance.

Julio started using alcohol as a teenager.  His cousin gave him his first 40-ounce bottle while he was in tenth grade and he realized that it helped him relax.  Drinking became a social part of Julio’s life and he continued drinking throughout college.

After graduation from Tuskegee, Julio started working in Virginia at a job that required him to “wine and dine” clients with an unlimited expense account.  He was living the dream with five cars and an amazing apartment.  After three years, he left this job because the multiple promotions and great material goods were not enough.  He wanted more.  Julio admits that his drinking increased during this time, but he was still functioning.

On September 11, 2001, Julio returned to the Baltimore area to start a new job in mortgage banking.  He had incredible financial success and worked for three years in the industry. But that still wasn’t enough.

He eventually left the mortgage banking firm in order to partner with his best friend in a fast food franchise.  They built up their new store and again found success.  The shop was ranked fifth in the region for the first three years that Julio and his partner owned the store.  That led to the decision to open a second store, all before he had turned thirty years old!

Looking back, Julio can see that the second shop was a mistake.  It cost more money to start and was a “problem store” from the start.  Also, next door to the store was a bar.  Julio became an absentee owner and let the teenagers working behind the counter more or less run the shop.  He had always been the responsible one, the one to fix problems, but he wasn’t that guy this time around.  He ended up having to sell the store and had to start all over again. 

This time Julio worked in the home repair business and did much of the actual labor himself.  He felt his life spinning out of control at this point, but still didn’t realize he was an alcoholic.

It took the death of his parents to open his eyes.  Julio’s mother had been ill and he felt bad that his father had been the one taking care of his mom, when Julio felt he should have been the one helping out.  After his mother passed away, Julio’s father told Julio that he was wasting his gifts because of alcohol.  But Julio still didn’t think he had an addiction; he thought addictions could only happen if he used hard drugs.  One of the last things Julio’s father said to Julio was, “Son, please stop drinking”.

After the death of both parents, Julio tried to clean up and was sober for several months.  But one day the pressures of life, the guilt and the shame all just caused him to give up.  He ended up sabotaging a job he was on and left to get drunk.

It took Julio three tries to get into Helping Up Mission.  On his first attempt, he arrived and had to wait to get in the door, but he wasn’t ready so he gave up and left.  On his second attempt, he came with too much luggage.  He wasn’t ready to let go of his material things and so he returned to a friend’s house (he had no other place to go) thinking he would never come back.  But, God had different plans for Julio.  On Veteran’s Day of 2015, Julio only had $5 on him and was so depressed that he knew he had to do something.  He walked for two and a half hours, stopped for one last beer, and then caught a ride to the train station to get to HUM. 

Although he had still packed several bags to bring with him, at some point he had to surrender it all and start fresh.

At first, he was afraid and he had a rough start.  It took him until around the sixty-day point to get comfortable with the idea that he was exactly where he needed to be.  Julio had borrowed a truck from a friend, but it broke down and he saw that as “a sign” to sit still and focus on his one-year in the Spiritual Recovery Program.

Julio graduated in November and is currently a graduate intern in the IT department at HUM. During his time here, Julio learned to sit still and to take responsibility for things again.  He also learned that helping doesn’t mean that you will fix a problem for another person; it means guiding people to a better way and then allowing them to go make it happen. 

Shortly before graduation, Julio took a Peer Advocate Training course.  This training will allow Julio to work in emergency rooms and counsel (as a peer) to those in need.  He can help in a specialized way that doctors and nurses aren’t always able to because they do not have first-hand experience of recovery.  He can advocate for and educate those in need and then help them so that they won’t necessarily need to return to the ER.

Whether Julio will choose to work in the IT field or as a Peer Advocate is not quite clear to him.  It is clear that helping people is a passion that burns deep within!  But right now, he needs to sit still and let God call the shots for his future.  With that as his plan, he can’t go wrong.

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Troy, 47 years old, was born and raised in Philadelphia, the second child of four children. A bright guy, he worked hard in high school, and his grades reflected it. This is his story.

Troy’s family was very important to him and provided a lot of support. While many families around them were disintegrating, his family held together, and upon graduation, Troy joined the Army. He reflects, “…a lot of my friends were starting to go down a path that I didn’t want to go down, starting to deal drugs.”

Initially, Troy planned to make a career out of the military and spent 8 years in the infantry. But at that point, he decided it was time to move on. Reflecting on his time in the military, Troy says, “If you are thinking about going into the military, do it. It’s a great experience and will teach you a lot of structure and helps you become a better person.”

After his military service, Troy returned to Lancaster, where he had purchased a home and found a job as a busboy. “Cooking became a passion for me and I applied my military training to good advantage. In the military they teach you, in any situation you are in, to pay attention to detail.” Doing just that paid off for Troy and after a few promotions he became a line cook. But by this time, both marijuana and alcohol had become a regular part of his life. After 6 years at that restaurant, Troy took a position in a restaurant at a casino in Atlantic City. After only one year, he was moved into management.

After 6 years in food service at the Casino, he returned to Lancaster to manage a fast food restaurant. “It was a big change going from fine dining to fast food. I took one of their lower performing stores and made it into one of their highest. Again, I applied my training in the military, teaching my employees how to pay attention to detail and focus on the customer as well as the operations,” says Troy.

During this time, he started smoking crack cocaine. Troy’s mother passed away suddenly from cancer even though the family didn’t know she was sick. He was very close to her. “At the time, I was in a really bad space, emotionally and mentally. I was just kind of drained from the job and picked crack back up – even heavier than before.” After 6 months, Troy quit using because he could see where it was heading.

Troy is pursuing his dream of owning a restaurant

But things were still very unsettled in his heart. Troy left that job and began isolating himself. For about 9 months he stayed in his house and lived off his savings. “I stayed away from everyone, even family. I had to come to terms with my mother’s death. I started using crack again – a little at first. Then I was smoking every day. Eventually I “woke up” and thought, ‘I need to stop what I’m doing’.” So in October 2014, Troy decided to come here to try and really get his life on track.

Early on, a new life plan began to form in Troy’s mind. He wanted to further his career in the food service industry by earning a degree in Culinary Arts, and so he began attending a school right here in our neighborhood.

Troy graduated from HUM in October 2015 and has continued living on campus in Graduate Transitional Housing. He will graduate from his culinary school next March. “My ultimate goal is to own my own restaurant. Of course, that’s going to take time and money. So my plan is to start out in a hotel or as a personal chef and go from there.”

Troy’s spiritual life has greatly expanded while here at HUM. “Today I have a great relationship with God. You know, I actually pray quite a bit every day. My sense of right and wrong has come from my parents, the military, reading the Bible and knowing God.”

Troy knows that remaining in recovery is a spiritual discipline. “It’s a state of mind…that you don’t want to do this (drugs) anymore. You need to believe it with all your mind, heart and soul – and then constantly remind yourself ‘I don’t want to do this’. It will become a habit and you’ll begin to practice it unconsciously. Helping Up Mission has helped me understand and practice that.”

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Born in Chesapeake, Virginia, Doug Coffield’s parents divorced and he was raised by his grandmother at age five. “Grandma was like mom to me and living with her was the happiest part of my childhood,” he recalls.

But, at 12, he was sent to live with his now-remarried father and there was constant strife between Doug, his stepmother and stepbrother. So, by age 16, he started experimenting with a variety of chemicals – and alcohol became his drug of choice.

Looking back, Doug says, “I wasn’t addicted yet, just trying to fit in with friends. I was really shy and it gave me courage.”

Out of high school, he started working construction and quickly moved to driving trucks. “The big rigs came naturally to me; like I was born to do this,” Doug says. He became a professional long-distance truck driver.

He also kept up his drinking and using drugs. “Looking back,” Doug says, “I’d become an alcoholic in my early 20’s. I had to have a bottle of Jack Daniels with me in the truck all the time. By this time, I was getting high on almost everything – including doing speed (methamphetamine) to stay awake driving all night.”

Doug found peace

Then, at 33, Doug had a spiritual moment of clarity – in a prison cell in Hagerstown, Maryland! “One night in a bar, a guy disrespected my girlfriend (now my wife!). We got into a fight and I ending up shooting him in the thigh!” Charged with assault and attempted murder, Doug received a 50-year sentence, with all but 5 years suspended. He served 2 ½ years and was released on parole for good behavior.

During that prison time, Doug knew he needed the Jesus his grandmother had introduced to him. He started praying, reading his Bible faithfully every day and attending every church service they had. “It was a true spiritual awakening for me,” he says.

Upon his release, Doug shared it all with his wife. Together, they started attending a small country church regularly and Doug became very active, attending Sunday School classes, participating on the church council and singing in the choir.

“But the pressures of life started to build and I didn’t know how to handle them,” Doug recalls. “My wife would use drugs from time to time and my spiritual focus began to deteriorate. After about 6 months I started using again.”

“Sadly, that’s how our marriage has been from the beginning. One of us gets clean and the other doesn’t – then we both wind up using again, together! In my 40’s, we both got hooked on heroin. I was in and out of recovery programs – both in jail and on the outside.”

First arriving at Helping Up Mission in 2014, Doug really wanted to stop using – and he did pretty well here, but left and eventually started using again.

When he felt like he just couldn’t take it any more, Doug came back to HUM, willing to do whatever necessary to stay clean – for him and his wife’s sake! He says he knew he could not do this himself and really needed God’s help. “I’m going to do whatever it takes; I’m done. Take me and I will do whatever you want,” was his prayer.

That was the summer of 2015. He was 59 years old…and it was surrender!

After being back here a while, Doug says he got peace and joy back in his soul. He started singing in the HUM choir. “I love to sing and try to always do it from my heart – others can feel it, too! It’s an important part of my recovery,” he says.

This summer – and now a HUM graduate – Doug was invited to help lead an evening Bible-focused recovery meeting on campus. Doug recalls the night he was to lead it by himself. “I was scared to death and it was hard getting started. But God helped me and the guys encouraged me.”

“I just tried to talk honestly about myself and how God is helping me. I also shared that I don’t really know what God has for me, but am waiting patiently. Afterwards, one guy said to me, ‘God is already doing something in you and through you.’ That helped!”

Doug says people have started to respect him now. “That’s pretty amazing because for the longest time, I didn’t even have respect for myself.”

Beyond his service here at HUM, Doug is also involved with a community outreach in Brooklyn Park, where people whose lives God has transformed, are available to help transform others. It’s been very meaningful to him.

This fall, Doug also enrolled at Faith Theological Seminary, working toward an undergraduate degree in Biblical Studies. “I want to be ready for whatever God has for me,” he says.

“My wife is doing well these days, too!” Doug is quick to add. “She’s working and this is the first time in 
our lives that my wife and I have 
been clean together – God is doing something new!”

Doug laughs a lot more these days