A Father’s Day Worth Waiting For
In June, I’m going home to New Jersey to see both of my daughters for the first time, sober and clean, to celebrate what feels like my first real Father’s Day.
Marques (pronounced Marcus) is 47 years old, born and raised outside of Trenton, New Jersey. He came to Helping Up Mission (HUM) in February 2025. This Father’s Day, he is visiting home.
“I was brought up very well. Both of my parents are educators. My dad has always been there. He’s a deacon, a legendary basketball coach who coached at Trenton High for years. He was a pillar in the community. I went to prep school, then Morehouse College, and graduated with a 3.0 GPA.”
“At 16, I smoked marijuana for the first time. I wanted to fit in. In high school, you want to blend into that cool crowd. It started off fun. Just good times with friends.”
“In my early 20s, a girlfriend introduced me to cocaine. I switched my drug of choice immediately. By my mid-20s it was every day. Then crack cocaine hit, and I started losing everything. The car, the job. I started bouncing around, no real job, no place to stay.”
“I became a father in my late 30s to a daughter. But I lost access to her. We would meet on weekends at my parents’ house whenever I showed up. That was the first time I actually felt the repercussions of drugs. That was a major consequence.”
“In 2021, I had my second daughter. I felt alive again. I was happy to have a second chance, hoping I could make up for my lost time with my first. I said I was going to get it right this time. And then addiction took over again, even worse.”
“By early 2025, I had nothing. No job, no place to stay, no bridges left. My cousin Vincent, a 2019 HUM graduate, had been trying to get me to Helping Up Mission for years. But at that point, I had no other options. Vincent drove up to Jersey and picked me up.”
“HUM was overwhelming at first, but once I got a routine, once I started going to classes and work therapy, it got better every day.”
“Last Father’s Day, my daughters called me. It was double-edged. I was happy to hear their voices, happy for them to call me Dad. But it was sad, because I wasn’t there. That kind of hurt me.”
“In June, I’m going home to New Jersey to see both of my daughters for the first time, sober and clean, to celebrate what feels like my first real Father’s Day. I was a shell of myself coming in here. Now I feel so confident. That’s what Helping Up Mission has done for me mainly, given me my confidence back and made me feel less ashamed of myself. And thanks to you, I feel like a new person.”
