Brian, age 43, was born in Saint Petersburg,
Florida, and raised on Anna Maria Island, Fl.
“Growing up, I had a great family life with
loving and supportive parents,” recalls Brian. “I
was the youngest of four children – the baby of
the family. I was raised in a Catholic family and
developed a close relationship with God. From
kindergarten through twelfth grade, I attended
Catholic schools. I did not fit in with the
normal kids, so I spent time together with the
“loser” crowd. We were an antisocial bunch. At
age 16, I started smoking marijuana, tripping
on acid, and experimenting with other drugs.
At the time I was being bullied a lot and I did
drugs to escape reality. Drugs made me feel
good and fit in.”
“I graduated from high school and moved
to Orlando to attend Valencia Community
College. I met new friends and started
clubbing and experimenting with psychedelic
drugs. At the time, I thought that I was just
a normal kid. I got caught stealing from the
hotel I was managing, and my dad said,” Brian
you need to leave Orlando and move to my
work apartment in Georgia.” I met someone
and we moved back to Florida and got heavy
into drugs. My drinking got out of hand, and I
still did not know that I had a problem. When
the relationship turned sour, I moved away
to Colorado. There is where I was introduced
to black tar heroin and oxycontin. I started
noticing withdrawal pains and that is when I
finally realized that I had a problem!”
“I moved again! This time back to Georgia
to live with my sister. I quit heroin “cold
turkey” but started drinking heavily again. I
was introduced to methamphetamines and
injected daily. I soon lost everything, could not
pay my rent, and moved into a hotel. I was in
a horrible relationship of physical and mental
abuse. My cousin secretly got me, and I moved
back to Florida!”
“After a year in Florida, I got hooked on
opiates again and started “shooting up,” all
day and every day. My addiction went from
zero to a million. I spent the next four years
hiding my addiction from my family while
“shooting up” not to be “dope-sick.” I finally
came clean and asked my family for help. At
age 38, I had finally given up. I attended my
first 30-day program while on suboxone and
I became addicted to the medication. When
I started to experience withdrawal pains, I
immediately sought to relieve them through
heroin – the drug that they were supposed to

ease me from. I would spend another two
years addicted to heroin while going in
and out of 30-day programs.”
“At the age of 42, I went back to the
30-day rehab again. This time, I found
myself in legal trouble and knew that I
had to do something different. With the
help of the rehab and my parents, we
searched for a more permanent solution
and found the Helping Up Mission (HUM),
online. I saw what they had to offer, and
I knew that making such a commitment
was something I had never done before.
I needed to address my mental, spiritual,
and physical health issues. I purchased a
one-way ticket to Baltimore, left my dog,
and sought help!”
“My previous program was small, and at
first, being one of the 500 people that
HUM served was overwhelming. One day,
I was sitting alone while feeling depressed
because I did not know anybody. Another
client asked me to join the HUM Choir and
I nervously agreed. Before I knew it, I was
coming out of my shell! Through HUM’s
resources, I went hiking, on retreats to
Camp Wabanna, attended outside recovery
meetings, and enjoyed therapeutic art.”
“I spent the first two months of the
Spiritual Recovery Program assisting
in housekeeping as my work therapy
assignment. One day while signing thank
you notes in the Philanthropy department,
I asked Philanthropy Specialist Mike
Cannon if there were any opportunities
to help. The atmosphere was relaxed,
and I was brought over to be an
associate, answering calls, giving tours,
and cataloging gift-in-kind donations.
Thanks to my hard work, I soon became
the Philanthropy Intern. With increased
responsibility, I continued to attend my
wellness appointments, but I wanted
something more. I enrolled in online
classes at Southern New Hampshire
University to pursue my degree in
psychology with a minor in addiction
counseling. Even though I have graduated
from the program, I have decided to
stay at HUM for a couple of years while
finishing school and finding work.”
“It is a new year and I have been able to
reinvent myself! Thanks to you I have been
able to address mental health, obtain my
driver’s license, and get my teeth fixed in
the Dental Program. HUM has completely
changed my life by offering me much
needed help with compassion. After all
the times I spent in and out of 30-day
programs, I wish I had found this place
earlier! Because of you and HUM, I have
become a stronger person who can help
other people!”

Michael, age 69, was born and raised in
a small rural farming town of West Grove,
Pennsylvania. The youngest of five children,
Michael learned to be invisible. “My dad was
a heavy disciplinarian,” recalls Michael. “We
were very well behaved, scared actually. My
mother was emotionally distant. I spent all my
time alone in music, electronics, and books. In
second grade my teacher wrote my parents to
tell them that I just stare out of the window.
She thought that I was not paying attention,
when really, I was somewhere else.”
“I had my first drink at age 11. I would go
downstairs after one of my parent’s pinochle
games and drink any leftover beverages. I
never got a buzz. In high school, I started
smoking weed, taking speed, and dropping
acid. All my friends were into music, and we
would sit around, get high, and play. As soon
as I graduated from high school, I moved out.
At the time, I thought the trauma from my
parents was normal for everybody. I had no
idea that the abuse was not normal!”
“When I went to technical school for my
associates degree, I started working with bands
as a sound engineer. I was good at it. When
you are working with a rock and roll band, you
are at a club or bar every night. I drank, but
never to excess. I had a job to do.”
“My brother Joe did three tours of Vietnam.
He came back from the war a changed man,
but we became close again. 23 months later,
he committed suicide. My dad called me up
and told me to get my brother. I went into
the woods, found his body, and it destroyed
me. It took me 10 years in and out of mental
institutions to be able to function properly.
During one of my stays, a fellow patient was
given a lobotomy. They wheeled him into my
room with his eyes wide open and nothing
going on in his head. The orderly told me ‘if
you do not straighten up, this is how you are
going to end up.’ “
“My sister Jane had diabetes since she was eight,
and eventually would need a kidney transplant.
We made a pact, that when she was ready, I
would donate my kidney to her. One day
she called me and said, ‘Michael it is time to
come home.’ The first thing my mother said
to me was, ‘You can’t give her a kidney. You
do drugs!’ My sister was so mad at our parents
for trying to run her life, that she overdosed
on insulin the night before her transplant. 12
years after my brother Joe killed himself.”

“Eventually, I met a lady named Carol in
1983, and we were married for 22 years.
We started drinking excessively, but I
was a functional drunk. We began using
methamphetamines, which we would use
for the next 20 years. Eventually we got
busted. The cops came in, stuck seven
guns in my face, and off we went to jail.”
“By 2001, all that I wanted to do was lay
around and stay high. In 2005, Carol could
not take it anymore and told me that I
had to leave. I tried to commit suicide
two times. I do not know how I survived
even one of the attempts but ended
up at a hospital where they gave me a
dual diagnosis of drug abuse and bipolar
disorder. Shortly after my diagnosis, I
ended up at Water Street Rescue Mission
in Lancaster, Pa., where I began my
relationship with Jesus.”
“In 2017, I got pneumoococcal pneumonia.
It took a year for me to function again. I
could not work anymore and retired at age
65. To “change places,” I moved away and
abandoned my recovery network. I started
using meth and drinking again. And
then Covid happened. I started drinking
daily. I was not drinking to get high; I was
drinking for oblivion. After 3 years of this
lifestyle, and three black out trips to the
hospital in Elkton, Md, I finally heard about
Helping Up Mission (HUM). My nurse
gave me a number for Jason at Maryland
State Health. Jason told me about HUM,
picked me up, drove me to Baltimore, and
dropped me off.”
“At first, I was scared and not thinking
clearly but, everybody was so nice and
helpful. I was so angry and irritable that the
other clients called me ‘grumpy old man!’
By the third week, I knew HUM was where
I was supposed to be. There is a feeling
here that you know you are safe. I got out
of my comfort zone and joined the choir.
One day I was talking to the Treatment
Intern about the Bible, and he asked me
why I was here. I opened up about my
trauma from my dysfunctional family and
the deaths of my siblings. Soon, I was
talking to my Treatment Coordinator Todd
Starkey, and he helped me forgive them.“
“Really talking about my trauma made me
aware of other traumas in my life. HUM
offered a spiritual healing trauma class
which was helpful. I then read a manual
on trauma that was just neurological.
Soon, I was mentally able to absorb both
the therapist’s and survivor’s viewpoints. I
have been working on trauma a lot in the
past six months and just for myself, I took
HUM’s trauma class again.”
“I would like to thank the donors sincerely.
Without your support, this beautiful place
could not happen. You are changing
people’s lives.”
“To the guys like me who need help – If you
are not familiar with the Bible, and you
do not know much about Jesus, I would
look into it. The Bible has strengthened my
relationship with God.”

Steven, age 56, was born and raised in
Petersburg, Virginia. “I was the youngest child
of seven,” Steven recalls. “My dad and mom
worked hard. I grew up in a spiritual family. My
dad always took us to church, but my mom
did not go. She thought that she did not have
to go to church to believe in God. Where
I thought that God was just there with no
emotional attachment. And after church, my
dad would go to the civic club to have drinks
with his buddies. Witnessing my dad’s drinking
and the fights between him and my mother
made me feel abandoned and alone. In tenth
grade, I realized that my dad was an alcoholic.”
“In high school, I was different. And being who
I am, and dealing with family trauma, I did not
socialize a lot. I tended to be a loner. At age
17, I had my first drink. I snuck out one night,
went to a nightclub, and had a bourbon. I was
horrified because I was scared, but happy. I
quickly discovered that drinking allowed me to
not care, loosen up, and have a fun time. But
soon, I realized that to enjoy myself, I had to
numb myself.”
“When my dad passed away in 2014, I
remember getting drunk immediately after the
funeral. Not knowing why my dad was the
way he was, I did not want to feel anything.
My ‘rock-bottom’ really hit a year later in
2015, when my mom passed away. My mom…
was my everything. She understood me and
made sure that every one of her children had
support. She was the rock of our family. She
kept us together. Gone were the family get
togethers, Christmases, Thanksgivings, and
phone calls. The family dynamics broke up. So,
my response was to start doing drugs.”
“I started using cocaine and then a friend
introduced me to crystal methamphetamines.
“Meth” was a whole new ball game that
made me not care. It made me feel like I was
in control, while it ruined my standard of
living. When I realized that I was getting too
deep into drugs, I moved to Charlotte, North
Carolina to live with my sister. I grieved my
parent’s deaths, processed my addictions, and
sought help. I found a church that I enjoyed
and started attending. My ‘recovery’ was
going to church. After two years of doing my
own recovery, ‘I was good to go.’ I packed my
bags and moved (back) to Baltimore.”
“I was back in a familiar environment with
old friends that I used to party with. I met
someone and became great friends with them.

We lived together and I thought that
we had the same intentions of building
a future together. It started great, but
ended with them taking advantage of my
finances, my emotions, and my needs. It
got to the point where I was trying to
save something that was not savable. I lost
everything and my own world to live in.
The only good thing that they ever gave
me was the idea to seek help at Helping
Up Mission (HUM).”
“I came to HUM in 2019, scared to death. I
had been on my own since 1994. Walking
into a building that housed 400 men
scared me. I had a lot of uncertainty in
myself and my life. All that I knew was that
I was going to get back what I had lost. It
was the week before Christmas, and I had
spent years not being able to celebrate
with my family. I was grateful to be in a
building where I felt safe and could go to
sleep. My initial thought was to stay just
30 days. But 30 days came and went, and I
agreed to stay 60.”
“I started noticing people and the
mechanics of how things work at HUM. I
noticed people smiling in recovery – who
does that? And in return people started
appreciating me. In response, I started
letting my guard down. People began
liking me for me. I started my work
therapy in the laundry room. Then I
moved to the library. I took pride in my job
and the staff and clients started to come to
me for help. My hard work paid off and I
was asked to work in the treatment office.
Pamela Wilkerson, Director of our Center
for Women & Children, started working in
the treatment office while the new center
was being built. Pam is like family to me.
Pam is awesome. She cares about the staff;
she cares about the clients. I came here
without a family, and today Pam is family.
And when the new building opened Pam
hired me as her Administrative Assistant.”
“In my time at HUM, I have freed myself
from overthinking. I met a group of people
who care about Steven and push me. We
started a group called “Brothers in Prayer,”
who get together and celebrate life. Along
with Pam, I met Laura Starsoneck, Assistant
Director of the new center, and my new
family grew. I attend church every Sunday,
but I believe what my mom told me about
being in church to believe in God is true. If
you think positively and do the right thing,
God is always with you!”
“I would like to thank the donors for
making such an incredible place possible.
You do not get this type of help in high
school or college. HUM actually changed
my life in my 50’s! I never would have
thought that I could live my life drug-free!”

“I couldn’t do five miles. I couldn’t. But, before I knew it, I was walking a quarter mile, a half mile, a mile, and two miles.”
Levolia, age 51, known affectionately as Lee at Helping Up Mission and Prudence to family and friends, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. “My mother and father were both addicts,” remembered Lee. “My mother loved me but abandoned me in a hospital at an early age. My mother’s cousin Beverly raised me for a while, and she loved me as much as she could. At age 8, my mother’s oldest sister Alberta, who was better off financially, stepped in, moved me in with her, and sent me to private schools. But I missed my mom and moved back with her to Cherry Hill, Baltimore.”
Thinking back on her young life, Lee remembers ‘Love.’ “Our neighborhood was tight knit. Everybody knew everybody. I had an older sister and a younger brother, and we all slept in the same room. My father had another child from another lady. I loved my half-sister so much. I do not remember childhood trauma. I just remember love!”
“My mother and sister were so close. I was about 25 when my mother died. I did not want to go to the funeral and my family literally carried me out of the house. And my sister did not cry or mourn my mother, like I did. So, I asked her why she was not more upset, and she said, she got high because the ‘drugs sedated her.’ After my mom’s death I wanted to try drugs and they begged me not to. At the time I was working as an executive secretary. I had money, a young baby, and I was young. But I did not want to feel the pain and from using drugs my entire world crumbled.”
“I always knew about God because of my maternal aunts. They were saved at a young age. God called them one day and they became devout Christians. They introduced me to church and how to have a relationship with God. They planted a seed in me that became watered when I came to Helping Up Mission (HUM). My aunt Alberta told me about HUM. I responded by saying that is only for men and she said, ‘they now have a Center for Women & Children!’ HUM was nothing that I thought it would be. God resides here. It is a place where people care about you holistically. I am being healed physically, emotionally, and spiritually.”
“Today I am doing stuff that I have never done before. I do not recognize the old me. I am 51 years old, and God saved my life. I remember before I got to HUM, sitting on my bed, and crying and asking God, if You are real You gotta show me, You gotta save me. I cried all day. I ‘used’ to live, and I lived to ‘use.’ I was the ‘living dead.’ Today, I am LIVING!”
“I went to a recovery convention in Front Royal, Virginia recently. It was beautiful in the mountains and the personal stories were powerful. I was really encouraged. I have gone to equine therapy. I was able to get my birth certificate and social security card. I am meeting with Brett Hartnet and Whitney Mugula in Workforce Development to work on my education. Before, I gave everything away, but now I see that God allowed everything to be taken. God is my everything. I am excited and things are opening up!”
“I joined Back on My Feet (BOMF). We walk one to three miles every Thursday. It is prepping us to be a part of Team HUM for the 5k at the Baltimore Running Festival on October 15. I am 51 and I couldn’t do five miles. I couldn’t. But, before I knew it, I was walking a quarter mile, a half mile, a mile, and two miles. I used to walk around the chapel and sing to God. I am in the choir, and people started telling me that I need to get involved with BOMF! People see things in each other that we do not see in ourselves.”
“I have never had a personal relationship with God. It was not until I came to HUM. It is like you plant a seed in a pot and the seed becomes a stalk, and the next day it grows a leaf. In four months, my spirit has been strengthened. I used to blame Him for my mom and dad being addicts. But God saw fit to save me. In Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. I do not have to worry, because right now I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. But God has plans for me. I always wanted what I want and now I want His will instead of my own.”
“Looking forward to the future, I know that I will be helping other people. Telling them that there is eternal life. I want to be where God puts me. I can go to work, obey the rules of HUM, spend time with God and maybe somebody will see that.”
“To the donors like Terry and Bob who tirelessly help in our library, these people give of themselves of their time, effort, prayers, and money I am so thankful. That is how God intended us to work and come together. There are many other women, and men who are grateful at HUM. We are thankful to God for allowing you to have the mind and heart to do what you do, and we are thankful to YOU for doing it!”

“HUM is not just concerned about my addiction; they are concerned about the whole man.”

Jason, age 49, was born in Lodi, California. “I was born into a cult,” states Jason. ” One night, to escape, my parents grabbed me and my brother, loaded up the car, and headed out of town. From there we joined a church. I was in first or second grade at the time when my babysitter began to sexually abuse me. My dad was an alcoholic with a traumatic past. My parents had a traumatic marriage which was fraught with violence and anger. So I did not have a safe place where I could share about the abuse that was occurring.”
“The abuse lasted 5 years and only ended because of my older brother getting involved with drugs. And the only solution that my parents could produce was to pack us all up and move all the way across the country to New Hampshire. I would like to say that my trauma and abuse were dealt with, but that is not the case. It was simply a geography change.”
“In middle school, there were a couple of kids that spoke openly about their traumatic backgrounds, and they were ostracized for their courageous confessions. I wanted nothing to do with that and the seed of deception was sowed within me. I started to tell lies about my past. The lies worked so well that I lied increasingly until every part of my life was either hidden, manipulation, or deception. Growing up, being someone else was all that I wanted”
“I got married right out of college. With the pressure of being an adult, my first job, and being married my alcoholism really began. But my alcoholism really took off when I joined corporate America. I would entertain clients who loved to drink. So we drank a lot and often. When I was entering my forties, my father passed, and my childhood abuse came raging back. I slipped into depression and used alcohol to self-medicate. From the time that I was 40 until age 49 I drank around the clock. I was a 12-year-old boy functioning in a 49-year old’s body. My decision making, my relationships with loved ones and God, and dealing with my addiction were being managed by a 12-year-old boy. It was time to grow up!”
“I eventually checked into a 28-day program in Northern Maryland. We would have nightly meetings where folks would share that they have been coming to this place 28, 18, and 12 times. It was disturbing to me that this culture of relapse had invaded this sector of society. I met with my counselor and said, listen, I really love you, but I do not ever want to see you again. What do I do? And they said, ‘if you are serious about getting sober and addressing your story behind your story, you need to go to Helping Up Mission (HUM).’ I was sober for 5 weeks, severely overweight, battling the onset of diabetes, and terrified.”
“I showed up here with all those physical factors and wondered what I was getting myself into. My marriage was in a state of limbo. You are just looking at the scorched earth landscape of your life. There was nothing left to hold me back from today’s incredible level of freedom that my wife and I have. But my wife dove into our relationship. She dove deep into the Be A Loving Mirror (BALM) method of family recovery. Through BALM she was moved to deep compassion, forgiveness, and mercy. Today, we are rediscovering one another and reexperiencing our marriage. We have experienced Christ in some extraordinary ways this year. Also, my daughters were able to come into themselves during this process. If they are angry or happy with me, we can have an honest conversation. Our relationships have an authentic, open dynamic that has allowed for healing. A highlight being when they both came to my graduation and cheered me on.”
“HUM is not just concerned about my addiction; they are concerned about the whole man. They connected me with a nutritionist and a primary care physician who quickly put me on a strict diet. They plugged me into a group of guys who were exercising daily. I was introduced to a partnering organization Back on My Feet (BoMF) that uses running to help people get back on their feet. When I came to HUM, I could not run one hundred yards. But two weeks ago, I ran a 10-miler! I have lost 154 pounds. My blood pressure is good, and my diabetes is gone. I have had a return to optimum health!”
“Salvation is a gift. We did nothing to earn it. We are completely in need of it, but the price tag is immense. In our walks with Christ, we must accept Him for who He really is. Just as I must accept myself for whom I really am. If I am brave enough, accept enough, and humble enough, what is next is going to be the pursuit of that in my relationships with my children, my wife, and God.”
“There are very few missions that are helping severely marginalized and broken people. HUM is a place where the Holy Spirit and Christ penetrate, change, and save lives. Thank you for supporting HUM. We see miracles here. The problems are immense, and the need is great. Thank you for being part of the solution!”

“I stopped hiding from God and started turning toward Him.”

Terri, age 58, was born in Montgomery County and then in and out of multiple foster homes. “I was in three foster homes. I was never in one place for too long,” she recalls. “I left my third foster home when I was 18 and lived in Mount Ranier, Maryland for a year before spending the next seven years in Oregon. I came back to Maryland and got a place of my own. I worked different jobs. I worked hard, played hard, and partied hard. I drank alcohol since I was 10. At 15, I started smoking marijuana which led to harder drugs. Using drugs was social to me. I enjoyed it.”
“15 years ago, my mom was dying, and I got deeper into drugs. My relationship fell apart. I lost my job due to a failing economy. A lot of things were happening at once. Instead of drinking at 5pm, I started drinking earlier in the day which turned into drinking all day, every day.”
“Eventually, I got a little clean time under my belt, was going to meetings and staying connected but I was working at Giant Foods and living in a recovery house where I was assistant manager. I was tired and working too much, so, I stopped going to meetings, and quit taking care of myself. After a while I was going through physical and emotional pain and there was a liquor store right there. Instead of telling people what I was going through and reaching out for help, I made the decision to take that one drink. My drinking snowballed and I drank more and more. My house manager finally called me out.”
“One day, I heard a friend of mine Tina speaking to her counselor about Helping Up Mission (HUM) being a spiritual program. I asked her what she meant, and she explained that it had to do with God. I have been hiding from Him due to my shame and guilt and I needed to turn back to HIM. I was crying for help!”
“The hardest part about coming to HUM was opening up about the scared little girl in me. I had so much shame, guilt, and a lack of trust. I did not open up right away, but when I did, I jumped in with two feet. I started to relax and want what was being offered. I found a sponsor and took advantage of the therapy that was being offered. My faith is getting a lot stronger every day. I stopped hiding from God and started turning toward Him.”
“Recovery is a process. It is slow healing, but I have tapped into the things that I have learned about myself. Where in the past I would not feel pain and stuff my feelings down, today I feel what I am feeling, understand what I am feeling, and share my feelings with people I trust. I am happier. I came in with a lot of guilt and shame, but today I am smiling! I am laughing! I am proud of myself today, because I have a relationship with the Lord, and I live with a family instead of in an institution.”
“I mean, I will never get used to getting up at six in the morning, but I am grateful to be here. It is not easy, but it is doable. And when you put in the work, before you know it, you are feeling better spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And that is important because HUM is a safety net. They give you the tools, give you hope, and give you excitement for what you can do. I am surrounded by beautiful people here.”
Today, Terri is the first security peacekeeper in our Women’s Spiritual Recovery Program, and as far as her future goes, “I do not try to look too far ahead, because all my life I have had instability. As I trust in the Lord, my faith grows stronger, people have my back, and I try to do the next right thing. I just want to stay at HUM because I am welcome to do so, and I am so grateful for that. I want to stay focused on my recovery and work on Terri. I have a healthy better life and that is all that I want right now. I trust what I am doing because I want this”
“I encourage people like me to give themselves a chance. Come in through HUM’s door and you will be all right. There are people here who care, there is help, and there is love. There is so much for you to do at HUM that you can have a better life. Give yourselves a chance to live instead of existing!”
“To the people that make everything possible at HUM. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are kind, caring, and amazing! I would love to meet all of you in person and thank you, because you have changed so many people’s lives – the ones that have come before, the ones that are here, and the ones that are coming. We NEED this! Thank you!”

“I was tired of not knowing what HUM was about”

Allen, age 53, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. “I grew up in East Baltimore, but at the age of 14, I was moved to one of the worst neighborhoods in West Baltimore and placed in foster care,” recalls Allen. “I understood what the “system” was trying to do. The move seemed great at the time. There were porch front homes. Kids had mothers and fathers. It was a healthier family setting. But, outside of those homes, the neighborhood had a “gang bang” type of mentality.”
“From age 12 to 16, I was just smoking marijuana. But, when I moved to East Baltimore, I started seeing guys shooting up heroin. The same guys were like ‘bosses’ of the neighborhood and you did not mess with them. I hung out with a gang of guys, and we made a pact. As long as we did not buy drugs to use, using was okay, because we equated addiction with guys that spent money on drugs. So, we took what we needed. Eventually, some guys figured out what we were doing. They said, ‘we know what you are doing. We think that you are a cool dude but keep taking from us and there will be consequences.’ I ended up forging friendships with a lot of them.”
“I began to navigate through my drug usage, through my addiction. Using was like a circuit, just repeating the cycle. Man, I was on that cycle until I was 46 years old! I always had a way out. I went through a lot of abuse as a child. I was ‘damaged goods.’ But I began to doubt my life. I love change and I started to wonder what it would take for me to change the way I was living. What would it take for me to find a way out of this wheel? I clearly said I need to find a way out!”
“The first time that I came to Helping Up Mission (HUM) in 2014, I got turned down at the door. One day, I decided that I was tired of not knowing what HUM was about. I entered the building and started looking around and ran into Kevin Healey, Director of Program Accountability. Kevin said, ‘I know you from somewhere!’ I told him that I had not been allowed into the program so many times that he recognized me from not letting me in. Without delay Kevin asked if I was ready. I did not intend to enter the program that day. But I felt that it was meant for me to be there.”
“I came in December 2014 and graduated Christmas Day 2015. I remember my first Christmas here. I was in Overnight Guest Services (OGS), and I had feelings about not having a home to go to for the holidays. But, this volunteer, a little girl, asked if I could use a. She was an angel and I still have it.”
“In 2016, I got into a relationship, and even though I was not ready to leave due to unfinished business, I left HUM. I had a job, a relationship, and a nice house with a peaceful front porch. Everything was so quiet. I felt like I was on probation, and I relapsed. I remember thinking of what might happen, what I would have to go through, and I decided to seek my recovery. I reentered HUM through the Johns Hopkins 9-1-1 program, but I did not surrender. I was trying to chase my old recovery.”
“One day, Pastor Gary Byers saw me and said,’ I knew that you would be back. Allen, you needed to be sold on the real joy of recovery.’ He nailed it! I surrendered, and today I love learning about myself. Pushing myself beyond what is dangerous or comfortable and being honest makes me free. Freedom today means not being prisoner to my old thinking, feelings, and emotions.”
“HUM has given me determination, better mental health, and better mental awareness. I earned certifications in computer fundamentals, Microsoft Word, and Excel. I have addressed my child support. I have also received my certification to become a Peer Recovery Support Specialist.”
“It has become obvious to me that there is a Higher Power. I have been in enough situations where it was not me, but Him who got me through it. When I first came back to HUM, I worked in housekeeping, but I felt like I wanted to do something more. I felt Him say ‘please be still. What I have for you will be for you.’ Shortly after I was asked to work with the Treatment Coordinator (TC) team. I get to help men in the program navigate and communicate with their TC’s. I had a lot of apprehension during my recovery, so I can help the guys coming in.”
“I have four kids and my relationship with them is wonderful. I came from a broken home, and it is important for me to help my kids break the chain of not having their fathers in the family. We are going to get through this together. “
“Thanks to the donors for their compassion. The guys around here are living, walking miracles. You are changing the world. I never thought that I could lead a happy life. At my age, when you come into recovery, you are masked up and uncomfortable. At HUM you can experience freedom and real Spiritual Recovery. Thank you!

Jose, age 50, was raised in Quakertown, Pennsylvania before moving to Philadelphia when he was 6. “We moved into the Erie section of north Philadelphia,” Jose recalled. “A bad incident happened between my father and mom, and he just disappeared – he went back to Puerto Rico and divorced my mother. I was raised in a church going family with decent values, I just went off the deep end as a teenager.”
“I remember going to the ballpark with my grandfather. I was close to him. One time he took me camping and was teaching me how to clean a fish. He looked at me, swung the fish, and it smacked me across the face! He laughed so hard that he peed his pants! That moment was a highlight of my life.”
“We moved into a not so nice section of Philadelphia, and I was told to change schools. The school was in a predominantly white section and there was a lot of racial tension. It was a challenge, especially being jumped twice and chased out of their neighborhood. Kids were just not nice and that is when I dropped out of school following 5th grade.”
“I took to the streets. We did not have a rec center or playgrounds that were safe. But the streets made me tougher. I learned how to hustle. I always had to prove myself, and I was fighting constantly. To get good clothes or a decent pair of sneakers, I took to selling drugs and made fast money. I started smoking cigarettes, then marijuana and drinking alcohol. But when crack cocaine hit the scene, it was something new for everybody. And it was socially acceptable to use it!”
“I met a girl who put me on a different path. I was dealing drugs in front of her house, and she said, ‘you’re better than this.’ We fell for each other hard. I would have done anything to be accepted by her parents and one day I was knocking on their front door to speak to them, and her father pulled out a .38 revolver and just starts shooting at me! He could have hit me, but he wanted to scare me! She told me that if I wanted to be accepted by her parents, I needed to do things differently.”
“I left town for Harrisburg and when I came back at age 20, I had a decent job, but her parents moved her to California. When I could not find her, I went off the deep end. I got deep into hard drugs. For a year, I was so depressed that I was trying to kill myself. So, I sought help for my addiction for the first time.”
“Around age 36, I met Pastors Dwight and Tony from Greater Grace Church and started going to their church in Philadelphia. And they brought me to Helping Up Mission (HUM) for the first time, in 2008. I had my first epiphany there. I was in the old rec room memorizing Bible verses and looking for Matthew 4: 19. Something tapped me on the shoulder, but nobody was there. I felt a warm hug, started crying, and prayed. I found Matthew 4: 19 and it said, ‘come follow me.’ That is where my spiritual journey began.”
“My second epiphany happened years later. I was packing up to leave my house and I reached for my 2008 seed certificate, and it fell to the ground but landed upright on the frame! I looked at it and said, ‘I am going back to HUM!’”
“My son was murdered four days after I came back. I became depressed but I decided to continue my recovery. HUM is where I feel the most fulfillment. For a long time, I wanted to be a contractor. Today, my number one priority is to go to Bible college, to continue in the ministry that I started with Haven City Church in Fells Point. I happened to arrive at the church when they needed help. Being bilingual, I was able to step right in and help. Now, I am driving their truck and have keys to the center! And soon I will oversee the food ministry.”
“There have been tough times at HUM. Particularly the death of my son, his mother, and my other children being homeless. I prayed hard for my other children and a family member from Chicago stepped up and provided a house for them!
“Today my life is different, God has shown me the way. I enrolled into Metro Baltimore Seminary. I stay in service helping others. I cannot believe HUM exists, what they are doing for us. HUM helped get my taxes done. Traffic legal issues have been taken care of. Workforce development helped me with my student debt. My credit score is looking good. And the Latino program that is growing here! “
“I hiked the Appalachian Trail. The campfire was awesome. It was special to reconnect with my grandfather, who I had camped with so many years ago. God created this blessing of nature.”
“Thank you (donors) from the bottom of my heart. Without your generosity, a lot of people would not get the help they deserve!”

When Ulises was five years old, his father, an alcoholic, sent his son to retrieve liquor from a nearby store. Curious, little Ulises broke the bottle’s seal and took a sip. Little did he know that this small drink would foreshadow an enormous struggle with addiction ahead.

“Alcohol in my life is a long story,” Ulises says today. “It was a huge monster that wrapped its arms around me. It’s been a lifelong struggle… I couldn’t stop drinking.”

As an adult, Ulises’ addiction forced his wife and two daughters to ask him to leave their home. Ulises spent years on the streets, drunk and homeless, splitting time between sleeping on the streets and resting inside a nearby truck.

One night, one of Ulises’ daughters knocked on the vehicle window and asked, “Daddy, do you really want to change?” Fighting back tears, the loving father replied, “Yes, I do. I love you. But it’s hard. I can’t do it on my own.” 

That emotional conversation stuck in Ulises’ mind. So, when a local church recommended that he come to Helping Up Mission, Ulises knew what he had to do. 

But having lived on the streets for so long, alone with his addiction, Ulises had lost the ability to trust anyone or anything. Especially someone offering to help him out of the goodness of their heart.

“I remember people here at HUM walking me to the front of the food line, offering me a place to shower, clean clothes, and a safe bed to sleep in. It was like a dream. I couldn’t believe it.” 

Comparing his time at HUM with the dark nights he used to spend hunkered down on the streets or in a truck, Ulises says, “It feels like one big light here. I pray for the people who helped me come here. Without this place, I think I’d be dead.”

Today, Ulises is fully sober. He’s completed nearly a full year of detox, classes, counseling, and other services that have restored his faith – empowering him to build back trust in God, in others, and in himself. 

He’s even begun working at HUM and started the process of reconciliation with his loved ones. “I learned that I was hurting my family,” he shares. “When you hurt yourself, you hurt them too. I was blind. I couldn’t see that before.”


“It feels like one big light here.”

—Ulises


Share God’s love with more people like Ulises!

Because of the unexpected, life-changing care you offered him, Ulises considers you to be an extended family member. As a new year begins at Helping Up Mission, hundreds more men and women await a similar blessing – many who have no relationship with family at all. Our Spiritual Recovery Program aims to heal, then strengthen, the minds, bodies, and souls of those with nowhere else to turn.

Please, give as generously as you can now.

January 2022 NL Feature Story – Scott W.

“HUM has helped me get new teeth, new glasses, expunge my record, and even try the benefits of acupuncture. There is just too much good happening daily.”

Scott, age 45, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. When Scott was a child, his family did a lot of moving around. “I was in and out of school and always the “new kid.” I was also short and heavyset. This combination resulted in me always being made fun of. So, I dealt with the humiliation by learning how to become a recluse. And I recognized my first addiction as being food,” recalls Scott.

“I was born Methodist, but my father’s side of the family was Roman Catholic. I was uncomfortable. I felt like everything that I did wrong would result in me going to hell. I had my first drink at the age of 10, sneaking a shot while nobody was watching. When I was a sophomore in high school I was “hanging out” with the skateboard crowd and started smoking marijuana daily.”

“After high school, I was looking for a career. A lot of my family were either police officers, fire fighters, or in the military. My grandfather was a Marine, and he used to come over and tell “war stories.” I was intrigued. I always thought growing up that I was not getting the love that I craved and yearned for from my family. And if I joined the Marines, then they would be proud of me.”

“I impulsively made choices of the direction that I wanted to go in my military career. And that was not the best choice for me. I ended up having a breakdown and they put me in the mental health ward for two weeks. I had already been dealing with low self-esteem, from my parents drinking. My father was a heavy drinker and a terribly angry person. Prior to the military, I had dealt with a lot of childhood trauma, physical abuse, and mental abuse. The military made me feel like I was nothing and I could not handle it. They discharged me.”

“After that, I would escape reality. Whether it was drinking, going to bars, or smoking crystal methamphetamines. I was out there “ripping and running” two, three, four days in a row. This is when I realized that I had a problem. I did not talk about anything, and I internalized everything. I just wanted to escape. I worked job after job, had relationship after relationship, and even went to prison from 2003 until 2006 for theft. I just could not stop using.”

“In 2017, I was in the Howard County detention center. I told them that I was a common addict and begged them not to release me. I told them that I was going to die if I went back out on the streets. But they had already made the decision to release me. I found myself walking down Washington Boulevard heading towards Baltimore City when I stumbled upon this little church (Grace Reformed Presbyterian Church) in Relay. It looked like something right out of an old movie. I cried out, God if you are real, I am going to walk into this church and throw myself on the floor. I need help and I cannot go another day like this. So, I walked in while they were having a service and they invited me to stay. An interim pastor Josiah sat me down. He said, “I have a good friend chaplain Vic King at Helping Up Mission (HUM), and I am going to give him a call.” Vic reserved a bed for me in Overnight Guest Services (OGS), and that is when I started my recovery journey.”

“In 2018, I graduated from the Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP), moved out, and was doing well. Soon my meeting attendance started dropping and I was not being open and honest with myself. But the seed of recovery had been planted and I knew that I had to come back to HUM. I enrolled as a Graduate SRP member and graduated again in 2020. Unfortunately, I was moving too fast, and I left the program in order to deal with life on my own terms. That did not work out. One day, I was lying there ignoring phone calls when I got a call from Frank Haddix (Client Services Manager). I answered it, started crying, and told him that I could not live like this anymore.”

“Once again, I came back to HUM. This time I walked through the doors and told God, “I am completely free of myself. I am open and willing to surrender to You. That is why I am going to college. I want to help people that suffer from the same disease that I suffer from. I just want to serve the Lord in everything that I do. With my degree, the first in my family, I want to become a licensed clinical alcohol and drug counselor. I have recently been offered an intake intern position. When I was a Marine, I was an infantry man, and now I will be working on the front lines of recovery!”

“HUM has helped me get new teeth, new glasses, expunge my record, and even try the benefits of acupuncture. There is just too much good happening daily. And I just want to thank you for your kindness. Guys come here with nothing and leave with everything. You are appreciated and I am living proof!”