Josh, age 38, was born and raised in
the Westchester, Pennsylvania suburb of
Philadelphia. “My family was not the best,
but not the worst,” Josh reflected. “As a child,
I never wanted anything. As an only child, I
often experienced loneliness, sadness, and
selfishness. Looking back on my childhood,
I realize that these were characteristics of
an addict. Seventh grade was rough, kids
started picking on my fashion. At the time, my
mother was on drugs and my stepfather was
a functioning alcoholic. We could not afford
nice clothes. Out of frustration, I started to
act up in school which might have been a cry
for help. Around this time, I began smoking
cigarettes and had my first drink. My friends
and I poured a bunch of different alcohol to
make a “screwdriver.” It was 100 degrees that
day and at first, drinking felt good, but soon I
was throwing up.”
“Shortly after, I started smoking marijuana.
When I was in high school, I would smoke
every day before, after, but sometimes during
class. I started experimenting with more drugs
including PCP and Ecstasy. Using drugs was
fun. I got behind in my studies and eventually
graduated from high school. At the time, I
was living with my grandma and began going
to trade school to learn about computers.
But I was living another life, selling drugs and
running with the wrong crowd. Trade school
started off well, but I was lost, and my head
was in a cloud. I ended up dropping out.”
“In 2006, I had a daughter, and soon my life
was spiraling out of control. I had a child while
I was a child myself. On Father’s Day, I smoked
crack cocaine for the first time, and I loved it.
In 2007, on the day after the fourth of July, I
experienced a Divine intervention. While in the
shower feeling terrible, something told me to
call my mom. At the time she was sober, and
she told me to come back home. I ended up
going to my first rehab and things were going
well, but I was not ready to quit my lifestyle.
Crack had a hold of me. The things that I
learned at that rehab stuck with me and for
the first time in my life, I felt guilt and shame
for using.”
“In 2015, my daughter was diagnosed with
cancer. No matter what the excuse, good
or bad, I would turn to drugs. This is when
alcohol got its grip on me – the only drug
that I could never put down. In 2016, I was in
another rehab in Philadelphia – The Salvation
Army. For eight and a half months, I managed
to get through the program while my
drinking continued. When they finally
caught me drinking, I was kicked out.”
“My real father was born and raised in
Baltimore and was running a recovery
program on the west side of the city. New
place but the same story. Alcohol still had
a hold on me, but I was doing so well that
I applied to go back to school. To celebrate
my acceptance, I had one drink, and that
one drink would turn into the roughest 3
years of my life.”
“Cheap vodka would become drugs and
other programs. In December 2019, I was
sitting on a couch in a room that smelled
and was full of cockroaches. How did my
life get to this point? I was “dope sick,”
homeless, and had nowhere left to go.
‘God, please take away this feeling!’ God
answered my prayers, and I woke up the
next morning. It was cold and I had $17 in
my pocket. I knew that rehabs worked, but I
needed to go to detox. I ended up at Mercy
Hospital and slept well for the first time in
a while. The next day, they asked me what
I wanted to do. I exhausted all my options
and called Helping Up Mission (HUM).”
“The next morning, I took a brisk, cold walk
to HUM. When I arrived, I had nothing,
and the mission was packed with people. I
wondered how I was going to be able to get
through this. I began to struggle and called
my mom and she said, ‘if you don’t do this,
act like I do not exist and lose my number.’
I knew she wanted me to stay. Soon, God
started putting people in my life. Reggie
Harrison, HUM’s Transportation Manager,
started taking me to church and I began to
get rest. The choir director asked me to sing
a solo at Friday’s graduation, which helped
me get over my fear of public speaking.”
“I began noticing people having success.
I began to commit to doing things like
going to spiritual retreats. I joined a group
called Brothers in Prayer and met fellow
like-minded graduates Demetrie, Lavell,
and Steven. I became an intern at HUM’s
barbershop, which helped me get ready for
outside work. I applied for a job and got
it! I worked hard and bought a car. I was
able to pay off my past student loans, so
I applied for college and got accepted at
UMGC! After this past semester, I have been
asked to join the school’s honor society.“
“My cousin ran into my daughter and
her mother and asked them to give me a
chance. This past Christmas, my daughter
asked if she could spend time with me,
and she did. My life was being fulfilled
and when Demetrie moved out of HUM, I
realized that so could I.
Today, I have my own place. It is not the
easiest, but I have peace and serenity. My
family is proud of me. I have gone from
selfish to selfless.