Shame – Self-Hatred Aimed at ME
Mark graduated from Helping Up Mission in 2010, had a good job, moved back home with his wife and continued in his recovery. But at some point he decided he had it all figured out and didn’t need to do all that spiritual recovery stuff anymore.
Consequently, Mark relapsed and found himself living on the streets again. He knew he could come back to HUM, but was too embarrassed. Shame kept Mark out there longer than it needed to be.
Fred was at HUM before, too. He got a good job and left before graduation. He continued working his recovery – for a while. Then Fred stopped doing the things that got him there and relapsed. After doing well for a good while, Fred was ashamed to admit his situation, so he waited till he couldn’t stand it anymore and finally came back here.
Mike had been living and working in Baltimore, but his addiction finally got the best of him and he recently wound up at HUM. He wasn’t embarrassed about any of us seeing him this way, but he didn’t want his parents to know anything about what had happened. Somehow they found out and now he is too embarrassed to even talk with them. Mike even wrote on today’s Prayer Sheet asking God to help him with his shame so he can talk with his parents.
Dr. David Allen is an internationally recognized expert on addiction and recovery (see my 4/19/13 blog). He is the one who reduced the word “shame” to its most basic characteristic – Self-Hatred Aimed at ME.
Shame is a killer – don’t let it take you down! Face it, deal with it and let it go!
Still One Day at a Time,
Pastor Gary Byers