20-39 Archives - Helping Up Mission

August NL 2021 Feature Story Michael C.

Thanks to You Michael is Ready to Say Yes

“When you combine a healthy active lifestyle with everything that HUM has to offer you have a ‘recipe’ for success.”

Michael, age 34, graduated from Helping Up Mission (HUM) in 2019 and in October 2020, was hired as our Philanthropy Coordinator. Although his journey of life-transformation has at times been rough due to anxiety and depression, today Michael will be preparing for his next step leading Team HUM at the 2021 Baltimore Running Festival.

Born and raised in Toms River, New Jersey, Michael grew up the youngest in a loving family of five. “I was first introduced to the team sports of soccer and baseball when I was 5. I really enjoyed the team aspect and competitive nature of sports with my friends. Toms River still is a hotbed of youth sports,” states Michael.

“During high school, I was a good student, played baseball, and ran track. I was a long-distance runner. The summer going into senior year I experimented with marijuana because of peer pressure. At first it was a weekend distraction that slowly progressed to a daily activity. Marijuana helped ease my mind and allowed me to escape my negative thoughts. Regardless of my early stages of addiction, I was able to graduate high school and move on to college at Rider University to study marketing.”

“While in college, I continued smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol on a regular basis. I was able to keep myself together and graduated college with a degree in marketing. The summer after graduation, I started my own ice cream business on Long Beach Island a popular summer tourist location on the Jersey Shore. Things were going good, despite my inability to deal with my mental health issues and drug use.”

“Eventually harder drugs were introduced to my lifestyle as the marijuana and drinking stopped doing their “job.” Honestly, opioids allowed me to become more outgoing. In 2017, I decide to get away from my negative influences in New Jersey and move to Maryland with my sister for a fresh start. I thought that a change in location would provide a change in my situation, but that is not what I found. Instead, my drug use continued. Looking at the prospect of becoming homeless or getting help – I chose the help that I desperately needed. “

Michael came to HUM and completed our one-year Spiritual Recovery Program. “After graduation, I started working and stopped focusing on my recovery. Instead, I was so worried about making money that I got away from the intensive substance abuse programs at HUM and relapse became part of my story. I realized that I learned a valuable lesson in keeping recovery in the forefront of my journey. I recognized the hope and peace of mind that HUM provided, and I reenrolled a couple of months later.”

“This time I did things differently. I started listening to people who had been successful in returning from addiction and I focused on the programs instead of rushing back to work. Sometimes sitting still is better than making a rash/emotional decision. Eventually a job opened up in our Philanthropy Department and Pete Griffin, Assistant Director of Programs, thought that I would be a great fit. In October 2020, I was hired which brings us to today.”

“My primary responsibility is to handle our Gifts-In-Kind (GIK) program for the mission in addition to supporting many Philanthropy initiatives/projects. GIK provides much needed clothing and essential toiletries to the 540 men and women that we serve. I remember how great it felt as a program member to receive these “blessings.” Now I get to see the work that I do have a direct impact on my friends in the program, which makes it rewarding.”

“I am also proud to be this year’s 2021 Team HUM Captain for the Baltimore Running Festival. Running is in my family. My brother competed in the Olympic time trials for marathons and as a former long-distance runner myself, I understand the importance of the team’s motto: One Life at a Time, One Mile at a Time. On October 9, two hundred men, women, and children will join me in raising awareness and critical funds while representing HUM. These funds will help save people from the devasting grips of addiction. Throughout the years at Helping Up Mission, exercise and healthy eating habits have been a big part of my recovery. Fitness has helped me learn discipline which was much needed in my life. I also realized how much these things helped with my mental health as well. When you combine a healthy active lifestyle with everything that HUM has to offer you have a ‘recipe’ for success.”

“Growing up, I never imagined living and working at a Baltimore City rehabilitation center. It is funny where God leads us, but I trust in His plan. I hope to continue working at HUM and giving back to the place that helped save my life. Whether it is leading a team at the Baltimore Running Festival or securing vital GIK donations for our clients, I am ready to say ‘Yes.’”

Lavell, age 43, “a country boy,” was born and raised in southern Maryland’s Calvert County. Growing up on his uncle’s small farm with his two brothers, mother, and father – Lavell was a loner whose best friend was a cow named Joe. He had a good childhood. “I was raised in the Methodist church, went to Sunday school, and sang in the choir,” Lavell remembers. “I got my first car at age 15, was in gifted and talented programs, and graduated Northern high school in 1995. As a graduation gift, my father gave me a sports car and it blew up from there. Before I graduated, I had become popular because I drove, worked at a liquor store, and could provide alcohol for parties. I started drinking from that point on and for many years, my life was pretty cool. I just partied.”
“That same summer, I began smoking marijuana. Everybody around me smoked “weed” so I started smoking and drinking every day. While I liked to party, I always prayed. I always read the bible. I knew the things that I was doing were wrong, but I just wanted to fit in. I would do bad things and then go around the corner and say, ‘Lord please help me.’”
“When I turned 21, my uncle passed tragically. I helped my grandmother find him by climbing in the window only to discover his body. Seeing him dead devastated me and I remembered a friend telling me to have a drink of wine in order to deal with my emotions and relax. That glass of wine put me to sleep and soon thereafter, I was drinking four packs of wine, which turned into bottles of wine. By age 22 I had transitioned to cocaine.”
“At age 28, I met my partner. They were well off and we had a strong attraction to each other. But due to the financial situation, cocaine was always around. Cocaine became life. The tumultuous relationship was filled with alcohol, drugs, and infidelities. We moved to California with the hopes that a new environment would help alleviate the pressures of our relationship. At first, the partying dropped off completely. But the reprieve was temporary as old ways resurfaced and ‘cocaine-fueled’ antics returned. “
“I was miserable on the inside and thought about walking away from this lavish life and trusting God’s plan for me. One night, when I just couldn’t handle the situation any longer, I was “coked-up” and had a loaded shotgun in my bedroom. We were arguing a lot and they kept calling me ‘crazy’ and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I put the loaded shotgun in their mouth and said call me ‘crazy’ one more time. His eyes got really big and he left. I then put the shotgun in my mouth, but it would not go off. I tried to kill myself. I kept pulling the trigger four or five times, but the gun jammed. I blacked out and woke up in my room with the gun gone. I immediately booked a flight home to Maryland. I packed my duffle bag, trusted God, and left.”
A few years later, and after his fourth DUI, Lavell finally heard God’s plan. “One day I hit rock bottom, woke up and said that I am done living this life. I called my best friend Lisa and she already knew what I was going to say. She put me on the phone with John Mister, a staff member at Helping Up Mission and as I was talking to him, I instantly knew, God said ‘HUM is where you are going.’
“I asked God to take away my taste for chemicals, including cigarettes. And I am a firm believer, that if you ask Him to take something from you, He will.”
“When I arrived at HUM, I went from being a little scared country boy to having a true brotherhood with the guys and staff. I broke out of my shell and started singing in the choir. It was the first time that I sang in front of people, sober, in twenty years. Members of the choir and I joined a group called Brothers in Prayer. They became my core group of accountability partners. We love God and the gospel. I could finally just be myself.”
Last March, when the pandemic began, Lavell was worried about how the 500 men at HUM would be served. “All that I could think about was the coronavirus was going to hit HUM and we would be screwed. I didn’t know if we were going to go into lockdown or be discharged. So, I made the decision to leave my work therapy assignment in Philanthropy and go back to work. I was worried about having no money and no place to go. At my new job, I was tested for COVID-19 every Monday and Thursday. Thank God, I never did end up catching it. In the end, Helping Up Mission was a safe haven. Their attention to detail, cleanliness, and their response to the coronavirus has protected me and the other clients during this pandemic. There is no other place like Helping Up Mission and that is all that I need to say.”

Dele is Feeling Your Christmas Blessings
“I started to become ME again”
Ayodele, 35, who goes by Dele, was born in Baton Rouge, but raised in Atlanta, Georgia. Growing up as a child of separation and divorce, Dele lived with his American mother and older brother during the week and spent every other weekend with his Nigerian father. Dele did well in school, had a good home life, and was an all-star caliber baseball player as a child. At age 15, all of that changed when he started smoking marijuana.
“My brother introduced me to “weed.” Since I was comfortable with him, smoking weed did not take a whole lot of thought. And things progressed to drinking beer. My grades started slipping in high school and with three months left to graduate, I told my mother that I was done with classes. She responded, “if you are done with school, you cannot live here.” I immediately moved out and began living with my cousins. And my addictions just took off from there. A lot of partying and drinking.”
“My father had a lot of lofty expectations. He wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer. He would say, “work now and play later.” I reversed that to play now and work some other time. He did not want to talk about anything other than education. I did not even know what I wanted for myself. I became rebellious toward him and in ninth grade, I got into a fight with him on school property. I ended up in juvenile detention and that was the beginning of my in and out of jail phase.”
Dele would cycle between violating probation, and 90-day juvenile programs. “It hardened me. I did what I had to do to fit in. I was in and out of the juvenile detention facilities until I turned 17. And then I went straight to county jail. I got out of prison for the last time in 2013.
“My older brother was in an out of rehabs at the time. He had finally gotten clean, and by seeing him go through the process of sobriety, I thought I should try it as well. I went to rehab for the first time in 2015.” Dele started repeating the in and out process, but this time with rehabs. “But my spirituality started to grow. I could hear God speaking. He would tell me to remove myself from situations – to not go.”
Dele, recounts a pivotal moment God told him to “not go.” “One late night, I was running out of drugs (cocaine) and I could hear Him say “don’t go.” But I had to find more. It was three o’clock in the morning and I am going back and forth in my head. My addiction finally wins, and I went looking for drugs. A dealer pulls up in his truck and a gunshot rings off inside the vehicle. He pushes the victim out of the truck and takes off. A guy runs up and starts wrapping the victim’s head while hollering out for someone to call the police. In my mind that was not what I came here for. Nobody called the police. We just walked off in our separate ways. “
“For some time, what I witnessed kept playing through my mind. If I did not stop using drugs now, I might be next in line. At the time I was a member of Back On My Feet Atlanta (BOMF) and told them that I wanted to leave Georgia. I wanted to get clean and I was not going to do so there. They introduced me to Helping Up Mission (HUM) through the BOMF team in Baltimore. I got on a bus with a suitcase and a map and arrived at HUM in June of 2019.”
“When I started the Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP) at HUM, my heart and spirit were hardened. I did not want to make any new relationships with people. But little by little, as I went to meetings and classes, things changed. The camaraderie at HUM, guys checking on you to see how you are doing and making small talk. Overtime, I would speak up more and more.”
“I started volunteering. I helped build the patio at the Chase Street Women’s Center with Coca-Cola Consolidated. I also volunteered at St. Vincent de Paul church on Friday evenings. Pretty soon, I began signing up for everything that HUM had to offer and my true personality began to come out. I was eating and sleeping well and, in the process, I started to become ME again.”
Today, Dele is back in school, pursuing a degree in respiratory therapy. He graduated from the SRP and is building his connection with his Higher Power. Dele is also rebuilding trust and restoring relationships with his father and his 11-year-old son. “My dad and I are a lot closer than we have ever been. I commit myself now to be there for my family. To be there for my son. I am excited about having a future that does not involve drugs and alcohol and my biggest problem is which courses should I take in school.”
“Thank you to all of the donors for making HUM possible. For me to come here all the way from Atlanta and feel comfort and safety. To be here at Christmas. It is all a blessing.”

“When we were beaten, we became willing”

Larry, 38, was born in Germany to a military family. As a hyperactive child, he battled concentration issues that resulted in a lack of learning or desire to sit in a classroom. His family moved several times, and by junior high, he found himself being molested by an older girl in his neighborhood. “I was being taken advantage of by a neighborhood girl. I was 13, and she was 17 years old. This went on for about a year and now I realize that the experience messed me up and my perception of what women are like and relationships in general.” Amidst the situation’s confusion, Larry thought the girl might be his girlfriend, but the abuser saw things differently. “At the time I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and she said, ‘no.’ The rejection hit me hard. My heart was hurt,” remembers Larry.

Soon after the sexual abuse, drugs and alcohol would find their way into Larry’s life as he searched to be socially accepted. “At first, I would smoke a joint with a friend, and that is how it started.” His desire to be cool would then result in buying a large amount of marijuana. “I ended up getting caught, just wanting to be a part of the crowd. I thought that I learned my lesson and did not mess with drugs again until two years later, when we moved to Tennessee. “

“I was a big guy. On my first day of school, everyone wanted me to play football. They wanted ME to be a part of something. So, I started playing with the team, and we thought that we were men. This was when my drinking started. At first, we drank after a game, and then we would drink after an exam. Soon we were drinking every night. “

“I began meeting rougher crowds, rougher groups of people. Some girls were involved and introduced me to cocaine, which just opened the door for my addictions. And soon, trying to please others and make them happy – I started using cocaine regularly.”

“My mom had a rule, ‘if you do not go to church, you are not going to live under my roof.’ I ended up missing a few services, and she put me out.” With nowhere else to go, Larry moved in with a local drug dealer. “During my stay, he was robbed a couple of times, and I felt like I had to help him out. We decided to find the guy that robbed him and get back his stuff. Armed with a gun, we found his stolen property and left. Soon after that, the police found us and took me to jail. I ended up spending three and a half years in prison.”

“When I got out of prison, I got into a toxic relationship. I got a job and an apartment, and we moved in together. And my powdered cocaine habit transitioned to crack cocaine. And after two years, it progressed to a full-blown addiction. I needed it. I had to have it.”

Larry would spend the next ten years getting high, getting evicted, and moving from state to state. In 2016, he would complete his first 30-day sobriety program but got high two weeks later. After more programs and eventual evictions, Larry finally hit rock bottom. In July of 2019, he walked through the doors of Helping Up Mission (HUM).

“The information that HUM provides helped me realize that it is okay to make mistakes. To quote Narcotics Anonymous, ‘When we were beaten, we became willing.’ HUM helped me learn how to take

suggestions. And there are people here who are living fulfilling lives with substantial amounts of clean time. Many of the former graduates come back and tell their stories.”

Larry has also been able to deal with the sexual molestation that scarred his early childhood. “When Mike Rallo [Director of Spiritual Life] discussed similar problems in class, I started relating to all the times that I had gotten clean only to relapse, due to past relationships. HUM taught me to love myself to the point where I am not looking for others to think that I am cool.”

“I still struggle with people-pleasing behavior. When it comes to doing what is right, I now know what is right and what is wrong. I have messed up a lot in my past, but my family is slowly coming around. They want to see substantial, long-term change in me. I know the key for me is better decision making.”

“There are guys in my Celebrate Recovery Group, Tyrell, Brett, and Ramon, and we have a bond because we have suffered through the same things and share it. And when one brother shares, it enables me to take off my mask and speak honestly. And they helped me in my recovery because I cannot do it on my own.”

Today, Larry is attending Baltimore City Community College and pursuing a degree in Behavioral Science, hoping to help others as HUM has helped him. “Nobody is immune to the trials and tribulations of life. Everybody is going to make mistakes. If you need help, it is okay to ask for it. I am grateful to HUM, helping me understand that recovery is a process without an expiration date.”

Te’Ayra, 35, affectionately called “Tee,” was born and raised in Washington, D.C. Her early family life was tumultuous: her mother was abusive, her mother’s relationship with her own family was strained, drugs and alcohol were used by family members, and Tee’s cousin sexually abused her. At 11 years old, Tee was placed in foster and group homes. Estranged, her father was unaware her mother lost custody. Tee kept thinking her mother “would get it together” but eventually she contacted her father. Finally,

the custody judge gave Tee the choice to live with her father, improving her life.

Tee was a hard worker from the start, which led to much success in the restaurant industry and the opportunity to manage new sites at an early age and even earning General Manager certification. However, the stress of the job, working long hours, peer pressure, access to alcohol, and the unaddressed childhood trauma, were not a good combination. At 21 years old, Tee experienced the effects of alcohol, and it was “off to the races,” she explains.

“I realized that I had an addiction when I needed alcohol to get me through the day. Things turned bad when I got into an unhealthy relationship. I was drinking and partying, and I stopped working. I let go of who I really was. It was not the life that I wanted to live, and I was ready for God to take me. I walked across a busy street, and I remember telling God that if it was my time to go, then it was my time to go. Let Your Will be my way. If I make it across the street, I am going to call and get help. So, I just started walking through heavy traffic, untouched. After I made it across the street, I went to my friend’s house, I said call 9-1-1, I don’t want this anymore.”

After a few years of recovery, Tee’s mom passed away due to cancer. Her mother’s death brought up so many emotions that Tee was not equipped to work through, which led her to start drinking heavily again. “I went on a three-day drinking binge. I would wake up and drink, go to sleep and drink, and repeat. After three days, I was broken – physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was at my “rock-bottom” and called the University of Maryland Hospital crying and asking for help.”

“When I got to the hospital, I told them that I looked up [Helping Up Mission] online and saw the programs and what they had to offer. I was the last Program intake before COVID –19 restrictions temporarily prevented new clients.”

When Te’Ayra, first walked into Helping Up Mission’s Woman’s Program at our Chase St. Center, after years battling dependency on alcohol, she was excited but nervous where her journey would take her. “I knew that I would have to be open, vulnerable, and willing to make changes.”

“When you first walk into the HUM, you recognize the staff’s loving care. I was in a grief class taught by Ms. Vicki , and the other women were sharing their experiences. Their openness allowed me to open up for the first time and tell my story.”

“Then I got into the Spiritual Life class with Ms. Donna and started opening up even more. She is like my mother and having her in my corner allows me to be heard without judgment. Everyone thinks that I am so happy and cheerful, but I have my bad moments. These ladies listened to me and helped me out by giving me the perfect kind of love that I always wanted. They treated me as a human being.”

“The spiritual aspect of recovery is something that I have never really done before. I was born and raised in the church, but I never thought to involve the understanding of God with recovery. You need God in your life. And once you have God in your life, he is always there, even when you hit your rock bottom. He is always there through the good and the bad; he is your best friend and companion. “

Today, Tee “trusts the process. I am trying to live the straight righteous life with the Lord. HUM means a new way of life and hope.”

Tee works part-time in a little café. As part of her work therapy at HUM, she also works in the kitchen, giving back to the therapeutic community in a way that utilizes her love of cooking! Tee is being offered a position in HUM’s Internship Training Program, which will provide her with a stipend, continued basic needs and comprehensive wraparound services, and a way to give back and build the therapeutic community for women.

Thank you for providing this loving environment for Tee, and all the women gaining hope at our Chase St. Center!

“God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen.”

Listen and subscribe to A Shot of Hope: Recovery Stories

Struggling with addiction for over 20 years, Ramon (39) asked God for help, “God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen.” Thanks to generous donors like yourself, Ramon’s prayers were answered, and he came to Helping Up Mission (HUM), where he has healed, “spiritually, mentally, and physically.”

Born in Guatemala, Ramon’s family moved a lot: from Costa Rica to the Dominican Republic, to Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. His father, a preacher in the Seventh Day Adventist church, and his mother did a good job of making his family feel safe during the many moves. “I never liked to be in one place for very long. I got used to moving and liked meeting new people and discovering new cultures,” recalls Ramon.

Being raised Seventh Day Adventist, with a strict ethical code against the consumption of alcohol, Ramon did not have his first drink until age 19. That all changed while in college. “That first night, I drank two forty-ounce beers. After that, I never drank casually. Drinking was all or nothing and I always drank to get drunk and I didn’t care about the consequences.”

Ramon’s “no-care” lifestyle would continue for another 15 years. Much like his childhood relocations, Ramon would often move to change the situations, yet his addictions would resurface. “Through the geographical moves, I now realize that I was the problem. I had always blamed my situations on other things.” Ramon moved to California to live with his sister, but his addiction resurfaced and he moved to Texas with his brother. “I thought that if I were around my brother, everything would get better. But I wasn’t happy and quickly started isolating myself. I moved back with my parents who were living in New Jersey, and repeated the process. My father got transferred to Maryland, and I moved too. The pattern repeated: I got healthy again but started drinking.

In Baltimore, Ramon got arrested and while in detention asked, “God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen. That is when I met John. He said that he knew of a place that would help me. I did not see him again and I was released. We never exchanged information and I did not know how to find him. But through coincidence, or more likely by GOD, John was there when I returned to get my things. And that is how I found Helping Up Mission.”

“The hardest thing about the Spiritual Recovery Program at HUM is living in a dorm with 30 guys, although it is cool how the men come from all walks of life. Learning to stay still, letting the ‘fog clear’, and taking direction were also hard at first. But they (staff) provide us with so much and there are so many opportunities to carry us through the year. I joined the choir and connected with the group Brothers in Prayer. I signed up for everything that HUM had to offer, like backpacking. I joined a recovery homegroup and attended Celebrate Recovery.”

Throughout the year I also stayed connected with John. He said he had a job opening for me when I was ready. At first, it was hard to find a job because of my past. But HUM helped me expunge my criminal record, and I work for John now at Sofi’s Crepes Fells Point. A job that I can walk to! It has been a blessing.

As Ramon looks ahead to his future, he is thankful for HUM teaching him to sit still and just letting God lead. “I passionately want to be a Peer Recovery Specialist. I want to help people get over the hump of addiction. I know what they are going through, and I want to show them how they can start from nothing and relearn what they know about God, religion, and recovery.”

“My relationship with God today is very personal. Recovery has really helped me see His love for humankind, but we must find out how to love ourselves first. God has given me the gift of being comfortable around people. Because of my upbringing, I trust people, and that is what I want to help instill in others. By trusting in God, like when I prayed to him from the detention center, He opened the door and placed John into my life.”

“Today, I am most thankful for my health and my life. My family stuck with me, even when I was reaching a point in my life where (it seemed) there was no coming back. I am thankful for God bringing back my sanity (Recovery Step 2). And I am thankful for love allowing me to adapt to and accept people where they are. I am grateful for HUM healing me: spiritually, mentally, and physically. If I had the opportunity to go back and talk to myself on my first day I would say, ‘Ramon, you are at the right place. God brought you here. It’s starting now!’ “

Thanks to donors, volunteers, and partners like you, Ramon is well on his way to becoming a Peer Recovery Specialist. His true life-transformation is a testament to your generosity on many levels. And the hope that Ramon provides the men and women that we serve is immeasurable.

April 2020 Feature Story – Patrick C.

Years of gradual drinking finally caught up to Patrick and when he had nowhere left to turn, he came to Helping Up Mission (HUM). Because of your generous donations, Patrick has grown spiritually, learned new life skills, and gotten out of his comfort zone.

Patrick, 32, was born in Catonsville, MD, and raised on a cul-de-sac in Howard County’s Ellicott City, MD. His parents separated and divorced when he was eight years old, spending weekends with his dad and the school week with his mom.

For Patrick, drinking was so gradual that there never was an “aha moment,” where he recognized his growing addiction. During high school, Patrick would often attend parties and drink to fit in. After graduation, “I took two years off from school but decided to go back because that’s what all of my friends were doing. I enrolled at Community College of Baltimore County (CCBC), but all my friends went to a different college. I would go to class and I would immediately start thinking about where the party was. Why was I sitting in class?” Patrick began missing classes, and as they added up, he dropped out of CCBC.

During this time Patrick acquired a job as a bartender. “At first I was a bar back. They put me in charge of carrying and stocking all the beer and liquor. Since I oversaw inventory, I would take sips out of bottles, restock them and count them as full. Soon I was coming into work hungover and drunk, and my coworkers noticed.

As his drinking progressed to full-blown alcoholism, Patrick was kicked out of his then girlfriends house and after looking for places to stay, ended up in a hotel. “I couldn’t find anything in my price range that would allow me to continue drinking. Sitting in my hotel room, fearing that my money would eventually run out. I didn’t know what I was going to do so I reached out to my parents and a few friends. Everyone was baffled as to what to do. They always say reach out for support, but no one was ready for it.

My father’s friend Marty finally stepped up and took me to Bayview Hospital for detox. He told my father that I was trying to change my life and he (my dad) needed to step up. So, my father picks me up from the hospital, takes me out for breakfast, and then drives me to HUM. The first week was hell. I got emotional, hid in a bathroom stall, and cried. I realized that I did have a bad problem, but I was in a place where I could finally take care of some things.

The first couple of months at HUM were great. Everything is taken care of for you. You don’t have to worry about anything, except for going to appointments, class, and work therapy. You are here for yourself. Before HUM, when I would deal with stressful situations, I could drink. Now I take a second, process the situation, and then deal with them. I’ve learned patience, which has helped me in my relationships. My dad and stepmom both said they were happy for me to become a productive member of society. I used to take offense to that, I thought a bartender does exactly that, he gives people what they want. But I now see where they are coming from and look forward to living the “American Dream.”

The program helped me spiritually through the classes. I’m not necessarily a Bible guy, but I have always believed in a higher power. My grandmother taught us about the bible, but the classes taught me to see things from a different perspective. Everyone wants to be a good productive person, but unless they think about it differently, they are thinking about it like an addict or alcoholic. Through the program, I have also taken part in the choir, equine therapy, and attended weekend outings at Camp Wabanna. It was nice to just get away for the weekend and have a break from the daily structure at HUM.

Patrick’s final work therapy assignment was with HUM’s IT department. “I have always wondered how things work and the thought processes associated with technology. As an intern in the IT department, I take care of all the electronics, computers, scanners, and help solve problems when something goes down. Recently, I started putting out my application and accepted an IT position at a company in Tampa, Florida. After graduation, I will spend a week with my father and then move down to Florida with my mother and start my new job.

Thanks to generous contributions from people like you, Patrick has gotten out of his comfort zone. I realize that life-transformation is never too late. At HUM, you can find the drive to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You must make decisions that will benefit you and help you get there. So, if you do hit rock bottom, and have nowhere left to turn, come to Helping Up Mission. You will not be by yourself. Getting out of your comfort zone is one of the most vital things you can do for your recovery. Because if you go back into your comfort zone, you’re never going to change!

Because of your generosity, Arthur Friday (age 37), has another chance to recover from addiction! Arthur was born in Baltimore, the oldest son of ten kids. Arthur’s life changed at age 9 when his father passed away, leaving the family reeling from the sudden loss. His mother, struggling with active addiction, was left with the daunting task of raising ten kids as a single parent. “We were hungry, not going to school, down and dirty. My oldest sister “dumpster dove” to feed us. Shortly thereafter, our conditions were reported to Social Services and all ten of us were placed in various stages of foster homes, group homes, and institutions,” recalls Arthur.

The oldest children, including Arthur, were placed in the KIVA House, a group home for 11 to 17 year olds in Arnold, MD. Arthur attended Severna Park High School, where he was a three-sport athlete playing football, basketball, and track. It was during this time that Arthur began drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana to have fun. Arthur admits, “Alcohol was my “trigger,” drinking was my gateway to other drugs.” His addiction progressed from there. Having graduated high school and attending Montgomery College to play football, “having fun” changed to owing people money for the cocaine he started using.

At age 23, Arthur returned to Baltimore and started living with his mother, then clean from her own addiction (she now has 18 years of sobriety). “My unmanageability was growing. I started lacing marijuana with cocaine. I wanted more and more and the cravings grew. I also started smoking crack cocaine. Within 30 days, I lost everything – my job, respect, money, and my responsibilities.”

“My mother’s boyfriend had been a HUM client and told me that HUM ‘would be a great place for help.’ In 2009, I came to HUM for the first time, but I stayed just 45 days.”

“I came back to HUM in 2011, this time as a member of the Johns Hopkins 9-1-1 program. I graduated from the program, but I was not done using drugs…I relapsed. In 2017, I spent nine months at the Mission. But I was selfish and moved in with my girlfriend. I eventually ended up at the Salvation Army, where I graduated from their six-month program. They offered me 3 different jobs, but I turned them all down. The same scenario unfolded, and I got selfish and relapsed again. Finally, six months ago I walked through the familiar doors of Helping Up Mission, hopefully for the last time.”

“The Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP) leaders gave me another chance. The staff at HUM have tremendous faith and will not give up on a person. They recognize addiction as a lifelong disease, and all that you have to do is apply the tools that they freely give you. The program has provided me with mental health counselors who help me open up about the real issues that got me here.”

“My Treatment Coordinator Steven Gallop, a HUM graduate and staff member has helped guide my recovery. I’ve spent countless hours in the HUM gym, getting healthy again. Donors have provided all of the clothing and personal care products that I need. When it comes down to it, living at HUM means having all of your physical needs met so that you can pursue your spiritual needs.”

Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

“My favorite quote from the bible is from Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Now when I have a choice, I choose God.”

“The SRP has provided me with the life skills necessary to look forward to graduation. I want to use these skills in the field of recovery by becoming a Peer Recovery Specialist. I plan on taking the classes that our Workforce Development Program provides in order to help the men who like me, are struggling with this lifelong disease.”

Thanks to YOU and countless other donors and volunteers, Arthur and 540 other men and women have the chance each day to break the cycle of addiction and homelessness. You are saving and transforming lives through your compassion and generosity!

Allen, 39, was born at St. Joseph’s hospital in Towson, Maryland and raised in Edgewood, Maryland. Allen had a “normal childhood”, playing sports and music. He had his first drink at age 16 and immediately felt horrible. But that didn’t stop Allen, and he continued to drink for the next 22 years. “I just kept drinking, every day, and did not stop until I was 38.”

He viewed alcohol as a ‘social lubricant.’ “I had always been an introvert, but when I started drinking, I became very extroverted. With alcohol, I became the opposite of my normal self, and I didn’t care what people thought of me.”

Ten years into Allen’s heavy drinking, he realized that he had a problem. “I always knew that I had become an alcoholic, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed drinking too much and I was not going to stop. Everything was about drinking. Despite my drinking, I managed to keep jobs, because I had a strong work ethic. But I didn’t want to do anything else, unless it involved alcohol.” At some point, Allen turned toward isolation, “I just wanted to be alone and drink. I didn’t even want to hang out with my wife.”

Allen eventually lost his job, and then started a destructive cycle of drinking and passing out. “My wife couldn’t bear it anymore. She told me that she was going to leave, but I kept drinking all day, every day. I don’t remember most of the last three months before I came to Helping Up Mission (HUM) in August 2018. It was a three-month blackout of complete inebriation.”

Allen hit “rock bottom” one morning, when he came out of a blackout and felt different. “These weren’t the normal shakes associated with withdrawal. I could feel it in my legs and in the back of my head. The alcoholic in me said ‘go to the liquor store.’ I tried, but I was shaking so bad that I couldn’t control the steering wheel. I blacked out again and crashed my car. It was in a ditch completely crushed. I had no injuries, not even a scratch. I woke up on a stretcher and didn’t even know what had happened!”

“I detoxed at a hospital and it was rough. I don’t remember much of my hospital experience, except that people had to help me stand and even use the bathroom. I completed my detox, went home, and after two days I drank again. I knew it was insane. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I came to HUM.”

For a long time, Allen didn’t know the real reason he came to HUM until he was reminded by his mother the day he graduated from our one-year Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP). “My mother suggested that I should thank the two guys that told me about HUM. I had no idea what she was talking about… She then reminded me that two Peer Recovery Specialists at the Upper Chesapeake Medical Hospital in Belair were the reason I made it to HUM.”

When Allen arrived at HUM, his first thoughts were “How do I get out of here and drink?” A few weeks later he heard “a voice” in the back of his head say, “stay here a little while longer.” “Every day, every week that went by, I was a little happier to stay at HUM. And then I realized that I needed to do this for myself. Drinking is not what I want at all. I don’t want to die. And I have to start doing something different to combat this compulsion that I have to drink, and say NO to it.”

One thing that really helped Allen during his year in the SRP was being in a community of 500 men. “We all understand this disease and we all suffer from it. Although we’ve worked hard to manage the problem, the problem is still there. We need to be aware, to control our actions.”

Allen also drew closer to GOD while at HUM. “I always believed in God, but I never talked to Him like I do now. One night I said to God, ‘if You can help take some of my anxiety away, I will keep my eyes open and look for You.’ After adopting this approach, my anxiety lessened, and I started to sleep like a normal human being. Ever since I started talking to God, things have changed for the better.”

After 15 months at HUM, Allen was ready and to return home with his parents and finish his college degree. “I am excited about the process of going to school and doing something different!”

Allen plans to stay connected to HUM. “HUM gives men the opportunity to change, which I greatly appreciate, because HUM saved my life. I plan on coming back to volunteer and do whatever I can to help. I want to still be a part of this program, because this place means a lot to people that have nowhere else to go for help.”

Valeriy, 31, grew up in Nakhodka, a small seaside town in the Russian Far East. At age 7, his family emigrated to the United States, settling in Pennsylvania. Coming from a close-knit community of people trying to get by, Valeriy was shaped by Russian culture in a positive way. However, adjustments from his upheaval at a young age contributed to stress and anxiety and without the proper coping skills to navigate his new way of life here in America.

At age 9, Valeriy planned to play basketball with friends after school. Unknowingly, at the same time, his father finished work early and wanted to spend some quality time with Valeriy, playing tennis. The misunderstanding led to his father, in a rage, beating him severely. Valeriy recalls, “This moment revealed my father’s abandonment issues and shaped my codependency. I didn’t want to get the crap beaten out of me again.”

“In high school I began playing soccer, which shaped my self-discipline. Due to “peer pressure” and in order to “fit in”, I started smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol. While initially able to maintain classes and relationships, things got out of hand in college. I lived by myself, living off a bag of potato chips and marijuana. I figured that if I had those two things, why would I need anything else?”

After college, Valeriy got married and fathered a son. “We were so young and immature, we didn’t know how to communicate. Marijuana gave me a fake euphoria; my culture made my identity as a father permanent. My family didn’t believe in divorce. Eventually we separated and regardless of my father’s actions, my upbringing taught me how to be a father.

“I thought I could achieve more through drug use, but I developed paranoia, lost my ability to control my emotions, and people began manipulating me. Eventually, my actions were going to lead me to lose custody of my son.” A moment of God’s grace. “I was planning on going to my son’s Taekwondo belt ceremony. The night before, I thought that I would stay up all night on crystal meth, but fell asleep, and woke up right before the ceremony. Upon arrival, I was asked if I was high on drugs. My custody was at stake and I was tired of lying. I was sick. My spirit and happiness were gone. In order to enjoy my time with my son, I thought I had to be on drugs.

After I confessed, my ex-wife told me about Helping Up Mission, saying her ex-boyfriend had spent almost a year there. I interviewed for the recovery program but was told I needed to “detox” from the drugs before entering the program. I stayed at my ex’s house for a week and returned to the mission in peace. I was raised Christian, so I view it like Daniel having peace in the lion’s den.”

“It wasn’t always easy. I didn’t see my son for the first six months, and dealing with being in the city can be difficult. But I didn’t struggle with the density. I was able to go on Equine Therapy retreats to a horse farm and enjoyed hiking trips on the Appalachian Trail, where at the end of the day we could sit around the fire and help each other out. I joined “Back on my Feet”, and now I love the city of Baltimore and its architecture. I studied Landscape Architecture in college, and I love the city’s open spaces.

HUM’s one-year Spiritual Recovery Program has helped me on my spiritual journey. The answers are all in the Bible, reading it first and then putting the lessons into practice. Before I came to HUM, I knew about Jesus, I just didn’t know Jesus. I was never vulnerable to Him. Like Daniel, take my attention off my problems and turn my focus to God. Unfortunately, some damage had been done because of my past, but I can now love without fear.

Valeriy recognizes that plans do change. “My plans have changed six times since I came to HUM. At first, my recovery was for my son. Then I was going to stay for two months, six months, and then I was going to get a job. But working in Overnight Guest Services (OGS) has slowed me down and taught me humility. I have learned, with respect, to see our guests as persons and not a persona. I show them love, humor, sensitivity, and compassion. This humility allows me to sit still and not worry about a job right now.

“I used to build furniture by hand, and soon I will finish my CNC training through the Jane Addams Resource Corporation (JARC). My dream is to one day combine these two skills, move back to Pennsylvania, and open a shop, so that I may provide for my son and meet his basic needs. And to be his father.”

“I would like to thank the donors, this is an opportunity that God puts in their hearts to give. Please do not be discouraged to give a guy the chance to affect his life. This is a huge investment in our future.”