Josh, age 38, was born and raised in
the Westchester, Pennsylvania suburb of
Philadelphia. “My family was not the best,
but not the worst,” Josh reflected. “As a child,
I never wanted anything. As an only child, I
often experienced loneliness, sadness, and
selfishness. Looking back on my childhood,
I realize that these were characteristics of
an addict. Seventh grade was rough, kids
started picking on my fashion. At the time, my
mother was on drugs and my stepfather was
a functioning alcoholic. We could not afford
nice clothes. Out of frustration, I started to
act up in school which might have been a cry
for help. Around this time, I began smoking
cigarettes and had my first drink. My friends
and I poured a bunch of different alcohol to
make a “screwdriver.” It was 100 degrees that
day and at first, drinking felt good, but soon I
was throwing up.”
“Shortly after, I started smoking marijuana.
When I was in high school, I would smoke
every day before, after, but sometimes during
class. I started experimenting with more drugs
including PCP and Ecstasy. Using drugs was
fun. I got behind in my studies and eventually
graduated from high school. At the time, I
was living with my grandma and began going
to trade school to learn about computers.
But I was living another life, selling drugs and
running with the wrong crowd. Trade school
started off well, but I was lost, and my head
was in a cloud. I ended up dropping out.”
“In 2006, I had a daughter, and soon my life
was spiraling out of control. I had a child while
I was a child myself. On Father’s Day, I smoked
crack cocaine for the first time, and I loved it.
In 2007, on the day after the fourth of July, I
experienced a Divine intervention. While in the
shower feeling terrible, something told me to
call my mom. At the time she was sober, and
she told me to come back home. I ended up
going to my first rehab and things were going
well, but I was not ready to quit my lifestyle.
Crack had a hold of me. The things that I
learned at that rehab stuck with me and for
the first time in my life, I felt guilt and shame
for using.”
“In 2015, my daughter was diagnosed with
cancer. No matter what the excuse, good
or bad, I would turn to drugs. This is when
alcohol got its grip on me – the only drug
that I could never put down. In 2016, I was in
another rehab in Philadelphia – The Salvation
Army. For eight and a half months, I managed

to get through the program while my
drinking continued. When they finally
caught me drinking, I was kicked out.”
“My real father was born and raised in
Baltimore and was running a recovery
program on the west side of the city. New
place but the same story. Alcohol still had
a hold on me, but I was doing so well that
I applied to go back to school. To celebrate
my acceptance, I had one drink, and that
one drink would turn into the roughest 3
years of my life.”
“Cheap vodka would become drugs and
other programs. In December 2019, I was
sitting on a couch in a room that smelled
and was full of cockroaches. How did my
life get to this point? I was “dope sick,”
homeless, and had nowhere left to go.
‘God, please take away this feeling!’ God
answered my prayers, and I woke up the
next morning. It was cold and I had $17 in
my pocket. I knew that rehabs worked, but I
needed to go to detox. I ended up at Mercy
Hospital and slept well for the first time in
a while. The next day, they asked me what
I wanted to do. I exhausted all my options
and called Helping Up Mission (HUM).”
“The next morning, I took a brisk, cold walk
to HUM. When I arrived, I had nothing,
and the mission was packed with people. I
wondered how I was going to be able to get
through this. I began to struggle and called
my mom and she said, ‘if you don’t do this,
act like I do not exist and lose my number.’
I knew she wanted me to stay. Soon, God
started putting people in my life. Reggie
Harrison, HUM’s Transportation Manager,
started taking me to church and I began to
get rest. The choir director asked me to sing
a solo at Friday’s graduation, which helped
me get over my fear of public speaking.”
“I began noticing people having success.
I began to commit to doing things like
going to spiritual retreats. I joined a group
called Brothers in Prayer and met fellow
like-minded graduates Demetrie, Lavell,
and Steven. I became an intern at HUM’s
barbershop, which helped me get ready for
outside work. I applied for a job and got
it! I worked hard and bought a car. I was
able to pay off my past student loans, so
I applied for college and got accepted at
UMGC! After this past semester, I have been
asked to join the school’s honor society.“
“My cousin ran into my daughter and
her mother and asked them to give me a
chance. This past Christmas, my daughter
asked if she could spend time with me,
and she did. My life was being fulfilled
and when Demetrie moved out of HUM, I
realized that so could I.
Today, I have my own place. It is not the
easiest, but I have peace and serenity. My
family is proud of me. I have gone from
selfish to selfless.

Tim, age 33, was born and raised in
Catonsville, Maryland. “I had a good family,”
recalls Tim. “When I was five years old, my
younger brother was born with Muscular
Dystrophy. I give my family a ton of credit. My
parents attended every concert and sporting
event. But the family dynamics changed
dramatically, and it was hard to watch my
brother struggle. I did well enough in school
to get a full scholarship to UMBC to pursue a
degree in astrophysics.”
“The first time that I used drugs was when I
smoked marijuana for my 18th birthday. My
first drunk happened at age 19 while attending
UMBC. Drinking was an exciting culture to
enter for me. Until then, I would play Risk and
make smoothies with my high school friends
for entertainment. I got a job at Tersiguel’s
French Restaurant in Old Ellicott City during
my first year. The restaurant industry was a
good fit for me. I had the natural charisma
to make personal connections and became a
good waiter. I started smoking marijuana 2-3
times a day. I worked while high.”
“During my junior year in college, I was
suspended for smoking marijuana. I
experienced a general malaise and decided to
switch majors to political science. While my
friends were willing to do anything to be the
best in astrophysics, I was willing to be the
best at work. I gave up real relationships to
work 60 hours a week. In 2014, I was doing so
well at work that I dropped out of college. At
Tersiguel’s my responsibilities started to pick
up, I studied to become a sommelier, and I
loved it. “
“In 2015, I was driving home from Richmond,
Virginia, and got pulled over for a DUI. I was
partying nightly to the point of blacking out.
Recognizing the legal ramifications of my
crime, I knew that I had to get sober fast. I
entered an outpatient facility in Columbia,
Maryland called Kolmac. I attended Alcoholics
Anonymous meetings and for the next 18
months, I was sober. I bought a house, moved
in with my girlfriend, and got a cat.”
“On July 30, 2016, I was working as the
General Manager of Tersiguel’s. It was a
beautiful night, and the restaurant was
bustling. I was in the cellar when the windows
caved in, and water rushed into the building. It
was like a scene from the Titanic. I thought that
if I could save one box of our most expensive
wine that it would not be a total loss. The

2016 historic flood of Ellicott City had just
destroyed the main street. It was traumatic.
The whole community responded well
and in October we were reopening, and a
coworker offered me a beer. My boss asked
me if I was making the right decision and
for the next three months everything went
fine, until it was not. I began hanging out
with an older crowd and was introduced to
cocaine. Soon I lost my job, my girlfriend,
my house, and my cat. It was my first taste
of “rock-bottom.”
“My mental health quickly deteriorated.
I placed the blame on everyone else
but myself. I ended up in psych wards
and hospital beds for self-harm. I still
did not recognize my addiction. At the
age of 29, and full of shame, guilt, and
embarrassment, I moved back home with
my parents. Once again, things started
going well. I got a job in politics knocking
on doors for a candidate. In 2020, the
COVID pandemic hit, and the candidate
I worked for dropped out of the race.
Suddenly, I was collecting unemployment
without a job for the first time since I was
15 years old. “
“I got a new job at a restaurant in
Catonsville. Around this time, some of
my friends died from their addictions. I
stopped using drugs as a result, but I kept
drinking every night. In May 2021, I got
my second DUI. This time I was unable to
stop drinking and my worried friends held
an intervention. The brother of one of my
friends graduated from Helping Up Mission
(HUM) in 2008. My parents gave me an
ultimatum check into HUM or leave the
house. My mom dropped me off the next
day and I entered the lobby with nothing
but a few dollars.”
“At first, I would ask myself what am I
doing here? I started hanging out with a
good group of guys that were done with
the grind of addiction. So, we started
to grind out our recovery by going to
meetings, doing step work, and getting
a sponsor. I completed my training to
become a Certified Peer Recovery Coach.
I joined the HUM Trail Team. I attended
Camp Wabanna. If a life-enrichment
opportunity were made available to me, I
would take advantage of it. Now I work as
an intern for our Workforce Development
Program. I love being able to help people
who are trying to reenter society get the
documents they need for success. Nobody
comes to HUM on a winning streak, but
we can help give them faith to rejoin the
community.”
“Thanks to the donors for making HUM a
safe place for me to reflect, rebuild, and
rediscover the things that make me happy
and sober. I have rekindled my love of
playing the steel drum with the HUM Choir
& Band and the music is coming back to
me. I am going to stick around, finish my
IT certification, and save for my future.”

August NL 2021 Feature Story Michael C.

Thanks to You Michael is Ready to Say Yes

“When you combine a healthy active lifestyle with everything that HUM has to offer you have a ‘recipe’ for success.”

Michael, age 34, graduated from Helping Up Mission (HUM) in 2019 and in October 2020, was hired as our Philanthropy Coordinator. Although his journey of life-transformation has at times been rough due to anxiety and depression, today Michael will be preparing for his next step leading Team HUM at the 2021 Baltimore Running Festival.

Born and raised in Toms River, New Jersey, Michael grew up the youngest in a loving family of five. “I was first introduced to the team sports of soccer and baseball when I was 5. I really enjoyed the team aspect and competitive nature of sports with my friends. Toms River still is a hotbed of youth sports,” states Michael.

“During high school, I was a good student, played baseball, and ran track. I was a long-distance runner. The summer going into senior year I experimented with marijuana because of peer pressure. At first it was a weekend distraction that slowly progressed to a daily activity. Marijuana helped ease my mind and allowed me to escape my negative thoughts. Regardless of my early stages of addiction, I was able to graduate high school and move on to college at Rider University to study marketing.”

“While in college, I continued smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol on a regular basis. I was able to keep myself together and graduated college with a degree in marketing. The summer after graduation, I started my own ice cream business on Long Beach Island a popular summer tourist location on the Jersey Shore. Things were going good, despite my inability to deal with my mental health issues and drug use.”

“Eventually harder drugs were introduced to my lifestyle as the marijuana and drinking stopped doing their “job.” Honestly, opioids allowed me to become more outgoing. In 2017, I decide to get away from my negative influences in New Jersey and move to Maryland with my sister for a fresh start. I thought that a change in location would provide a change in my situation, but that is not what I found. Instead, my drug use continued. Looking at the prospect of becoming homeless or getting help – I chose the help that I desperately needed. “

Michael came to HUM and completed our one-year Spiritual Recovery Program. “After graduation, I started working and stopped focusing on my recovery. Instead, I was so worried about making money that I got away from the intensive substance abuse programs at HUM and relapse became part of my story. I realized that I learned a valuable lesson in keeping recovery in the forefront of my journey. I recognized the hope and peace of mind that HUM provided, and I reenrolled a couple of months later.”

“This time I did things differently. I started listening to people who had been successful in returning from addiction and I focused on the programs instead of rushing back to work. Sometimes sitting still is better than making a rash/emotional decision. Eventually a job opened up in our Philanthropy Department and Pete Griffin, Assistant Director of Programs, thought that I would be a great fit. In October 2020, I was hired which brings us to today.”

“My primary responsibility is to handle our Gifts-In-Kind (GIK) program for the mission in addition to supporting many Philanthropy initiatives/projects. GIK provides much needed clothing and essential toiletries to the 540 men and women that we serve. I remember how great it felt as a program member to receive these “blessings.” Now I get to see the work that I do have a direct impact on my friends in the program, which makes it rewarding.”

“I am also proud to be this year’s 2021 Team HUM Captain for the Baltimore Running Festival. Running is in my family. My brother competed in the Olympic time trials for marathons and as a former long-distance runner myself, I understand the importance of the team’s motto: One Life at a Time, One Mile at a Time. On October 9, two hundred men, women, and children will join me in raising awareness and critical funds while representing HUM. These funds will help save people from the devasting grips of addiction. Throughout the years at Helping Up Mission, exercise and healthy eating habits have been a big part of my recovery. Fitness has helped me learn discipline which was much needed in my life. I also realized how much these things helped with my mental health as well. When you combine a healthy active lifestyle with everything that HUM has to offer you have a ‘recipe’ for success.”

“Growing up, I never imagined living and working at a Baltimore City rehabilitation center. It is funny where God leads us, but I trust in His plan. I hope to continue working at HUM and giving back to the place that helped save my life. Whether it is leading a team at the Baltimore Running Festival or securing vital GIK donations for our clients, I am ready to say ‘Yes.’”

 

 

Lavell, age 43, “a country boy,” was born and raised in southern Maryland’s Calvert County. Growing up on his uncle’s small farm with his two brothers, mother, and father – Lavell was a loner whose best friend was a cow named Joe. He had a good childhood. “I was raised in the Methodist church, went to Sunday school, and sang in the choir,” Lavell remembers. “I got my first car at age 15, was in gifted and talented programs, and graduated Northern high school in 1995. As a graduation gift, my father gave me a sports car and it blew up from there. Before I graduated, I had become popular because I drove, worked at a liquor store, and could provide alcohol for parties. I started drinking from that point on and for many years, my life was pretty cool. I just partied.”
“That same summer, I began smoking marijuana. Everybody around me smoked “weed” so I started smoking and drinking every day. While I liked to party, I always prayed. I always read the bible. I knew the things that I was doing were wrong, but I just wanted to fit in. I would do bad things and then go around the corner and say, ‘Lord please help me.’”
“When I turned 21, my uncle passed tragically. I helped my grandmother find him by climbing in the window only to discover his body. Seeing him dead devastated me and I remembered a friend telling me to have a drink of wine in order to deal with my emotions and relax. That glass of wine put me to sleep and soon thereafter, I was drinking four packs of wine, which turned into bottles of wine. By age 22 I had transitioned to cocaine.”
“At age 28, I met my partner. They were well off and we had a strong attraction to each other. But due to the financial situation, cocaine was always around. Cocaine became life. The tumultuous relationship was filled with alcohol, drugs, and infidelities. We moved to California with the hopes that a new environment would help alleviate the pressures of our relationship. At first, the partying dropped off completely. But the reprieve was temporary as old ways resurfaced and ‘cocaine-fueled’ antics returned. “
“I was miserable on the inside and thought about walking away from this lavish life and trusting God’s plan for me. One night, when I just couldn’t handle the situation any longer, I was “coked-up” and had a loaded shotgun in my bedroom. We were arguing a lot and they kept calling me ‘crazy’ and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I put the loaded shotgun in their mouth and said call me ‘crazy’ one more time. His eyes got really big and he left. I then put the shotgun in my mouth, but it would not go off. I tried to kill myself. I kept pulling the trigger four or five times, but the gun jammed. I blacked out and woke up in my room with the gun gone. I immediately booked a flight home to Maryland. I packed my duffle bag, trusted God, and left.”
A few years later, and after his fourth DUI, Lavell finally heard God’s plan. “One day I hit rock bottom, woke up and said that I am done living this life. I called my best friend Lisa and she already knew what I was going to say. She put me on the phone with John Mister, a staff member at Helping Up Mission and as I was talking to him, I instantly knew, God said ‘HUM is where you are going.’
“I asked God to take away my taste for chemicals, including cigarettes. And I am a firm believer, that if you ask Him to take something from you, He will.”
“When I arrived at HUM, I went from being a little scared country boy to having a true brotherhood with the guys and staff. I broke out of my shell and started singing in the choir. It was the first time that I sang in front of people, sober, in twenty years. Members of the choir and I joined a group called Brothers in Prayer. They became my core group of accountability partners. We love God and the gospel. I could finally just be myself.”
Last March, when the pandemic began, Lavell was worried about how the 500 men at HUM would be served. “All that I could think about was the coronavirus was going to hit HUM and we would be screwed. I didn’t know if we were going to go into lockdown or be discharged. So, I made the decision to leave my work therapy assignment in Philanthropy and go back to work. I was worried about having no money and no place to go. At my new job, I was tested for COVID-19 every Monday and Thursday. Thank God, I never did end up catching it. In the end, Helping Up Mission was a safe haven. Their attention to detail, cleanliness, and their response to the coronavirus has protected me and the other clients during this pandemic. There is no other place like Helping Up Mission and that is all that I need to say.”

Dele is Feeling Your Christmas Blessings
“I started to become ME again”
Ayodele, 35, who goes by Dele, was born in Baton Rouge, but raised in Atlanta, Georgia. Growing up as a child of separation and divorce, Dele lived with his American mother and older brother during the week and spent every other weekend with his Nigerian father. Dele did well in school, had a good home life, and was an all-star caliber baseball player as a child. At age 15, all of that changed when he started smoking marijuana.
“My brother introduced me to “weed.” Since I was comfortable with him, smoking weed did not take a whole lot of thought. And things progressed to drinking beer. My grades started slipping in high school and with three months left to graduate, I told my mother that I was done with classes. She responded, “if you are done with school, you cannot live here.” I immediately moved out and began living with my cousins. And my addictions just took off from there. A lot of partying and drinking.”
“My father had a lot of lofty expectations. He wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer. He would say, “work now and play later.” I reversed that to play now and work some other time. He did not want to talk about anything other than education. I did not even know what I wanted for myself. I became rebellious toward him and in ninth grade, I got into a fight with him on school property. I ended up in juvenile detention and that was the beginning of my in and out of jail phase.”
Dele would cycle between violating probation, and 90-day juvenile programs. “It hardened me. I did what I had to do to fit in. I was in and out of the juvenile detention facilities until I turned 17. And then I went straight to county jail. I got out of prison for the last time in 2013.
“My older brother was in an out of rehabs at the time. He had finally gotten clean, and by seeing him go through the process of sobriety, I thought I should try it as well. I went to rehab for the first time in 2015.” Dele started repeating the in and out process, but this time with rehabs. “But my spirituality started to grow. I could hear God speaking. He would tell me to remove myself from situations – to not go.”
Dele, recounts a pivotal moment God told him to “not go.” “One late night, I was running out of drugs (cocaine) and I could hear Him say “don’t go.” But I had to find more. It was three o’clock in the morning and I am going back and forth in my head. My addiction finally wins, and I went looking for drugs. A dealer pulls up in his truck and a gunshot rings off inside the vehicle. He pushes the victim out of the truck and takes off. A guy runs up and starts wrapping the victim’s head while hollering out for someone to call the police. In my mind that was not what I came here for. Nobody called the police. We just walked off in our separate ways. “
“For some time, what I witnessed kept playing through my mind. If I did not stop using drugs now, I might be next in line. At the time I was a member of Back On My Feet Atlanta (BOMF) and told them that I wanted to leave Georgia. I wanted to get clean and I was not going to do so there. They introduced me to Helping Up Mission (HUM) through the BOMF team in Baltimore. I got on a bus with a suitcase and a map and arrived at HUM in June of 2019.”
“When I started the Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP) at HUM, my heart and spirit were hardened. I did not want to make any new relationships with people. But little by little, as I went to meetings and classes, things changed. The camaraderie at HUM, guys checking on you to see how you are doing and making small talk. Overtime, I would speak up more and more.”
“I started volunteering. I helped build the patio at the Chase Street Women’s Center with Coca-Cola Consolidated. I also volunteered at St. Vincent de Paul church on Friday evenings. Pretty soon, I began signing up for everything that HUM had to offer and my true personality began to come out. I was eating and sleeping well and, in the process, I started to become ME again.”
Today, Dele is back in school, pursuing a degree in respiratory therapy. He graduated from the SRP and is building his connection with his Higher Power. Dele is also rebuilding trust and restoring relationships with his father and his 11-year-old son. “My dad and I are a lot closer than we have ever been. I commit myself now to be there for my family. To be there for my son. I am excited about having a future that does not involve drugs and alcohol and my biggest problem is which courses should I take in school.”
“Thank you to all of the donors for making HUM possible. For me to come here all the way from Atlanta and feel comfort and safety. To be here at Christmas. It is all a blessing.”

“When we were beaten, we became willing”

Larry, 38, was born in Germany to a military family. As a hyperactive child, he battled concentration issues that resulted in a lack of learning or desire to sit in a classroom. His family moved several times, and by junior high, he found himself being molested by an older girl in his neighborhood. “I was being taken advantage of by a neighborhood girl. I was 13, and she was 17 years old. This went on for about a year and now I realize that the experience messed me up and my perception of what women are like and relationships in general.” Amidst the situation’s confusion, Larry thought the girl might be his girlfriend, but the abuser saw things differently. “At the time I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and she said, ‘no.’ The rejection hit me hard. My heart was hurt,” remembers Larry.

Soon after the sexual abuse, drugs and alcohol would find their way into Larry’s life as he searched to be socially accepted. “At first, I would smoke a joint with a friend, and that is how it started.” His desire to be cool would then result in buying a large amount of marijuana. “I ended up getting caught, just wanting to be a part of the crowd. I thought that I learned my lesson and did not mess with drugs again until two years later, when we moved to Tennessee. “

“I was a big guy. On my first day of school, everyone wanted me to play football. They wanted ME to be a part of something. So, I started playing with the team, and we thought that we were men. This was when my drinking started. At first, we drank after a game, and then we would drink after an exam. Soon we were drinking every night. “

“I began meeting rougher crowds, rougher groups of people. Some girls were involved and introduced me to cocaine, which just opened the door for my addictions. And soon, trying to please others and make them happy – I started using cocaine regularly.”

“My mom had a rule, ‘if you do not go to church, you are not going to live under my roof.’ I ended up missing a few services, and she put me out.” With nowhere else to go, Larry moved in with a local drug dealer. “During my stay, he was robbed a couple of times, and I felt like I had to help him out. We decided to find the guy that robbed him and get back his stuff. Armed with a gun, we found his stolen property and left. Soon after that, the police found us and took me to jail. I ended up spending three and a half years in prison.”

“When I got out of prison, I got into a toxic relationship. I got a job and an apartment, and we moved in together. And my powdered cocaine habit transitioned to crack cocaine. And after two years, it progressed to a full-blown addiction. I needed it. I had to have it.”

Larry would spend the next ten years getting high, getting evicted, and moving from state to state. In 2016, he would complete his first 30-day sobriety program but got high two weeks later. After more programs and eventual evictions, Larry finally hit rock bottom. In July of 2019, he walked through the doors of Helping Up Mission (HUM).

“The information that HUM provides helped me realize that it is okay to make mistakes. To quote Narcotics Anonymous, ‘When we were beaten, we became willing.’ HUM helped me learn how to take

suggestions. And there are people here who are living fulfilling lives with substantial amounts of clean time. Many of the former graduates come back and tell their stories.”

Larry has also been able to deal with the sexual molestation that scarred his early childhood. “When Mike Rallo [Director of Spiritual Life] discussed similar problems in class, I started relating to all the times that I had gotten clean only to relapse, due to past relationships. HUM taught me to love myself to the point where I am not looking for others to think that I am cool.”

“I still struggle with people-pleasing behavior. When it comes to doing what is right, I now know what is right and what is wrong. I have messed up a lot in my past, but my family is slowly coming around. They want to see substantial, long-term change in me. I know the key for me is better decision making.”

“There are guys in my Celebrate Recovery Group, Tyrell, Brett, and Ramon, and we have a bond because we have suffered through the same things and share it. And when one brother shares, it enables me to take off my mask and speak honestly. And they helped me in my recovery because I cannot do it on my own.”

Today, Larry is attending Baltimore City Community College and pursuing a degree in Behavioral Science, hoping to help others as HUM has helped him. “Nobody is immune to the trials and tribulations of life. Everybody is going to make mistakes. If you need help, it is okay to ask for it. I am grateful to HUM, helping me understand that recovery is a process without an expiration date.”

Te’Ayra, 35, affectionately called “Tee,” was born and raised in Washington, D.C. Her early family life was tumultuous: her mother was abusive, her mother’s relationship with her own family was strained, drugs and alcohol were used by family members, and Tee’s cousin sexually abused her. At 11 years old, Tee was placed in foster and group homes. Estranged, her father was unaware her mother lost custody. Tee kept thinking her mother “would get it together” but eventually she contacted her father. Finally,

the custody judge gave Tee the choice to live with her father, improving her life.

Tee was a hard worker from the start, which led to much success in the restaurant industry and the opportunity to manage new sites at an early age and even earning General Manager certification. However, the stress of the job, working long hours, peer pressure, access to alcohol, and the unaddressed childhood trauma, were not a good combination. At 21 years old, Tee experienced the effects of alcohol, and it was “off to the races,” she explains.

“I realized that I had an addiction when I needed alcohol to get me through the day. Things turned bad when I got into an unhealthy relationship. I was drinking and partying, and I stopped working. I let go of who I really was. It was not the life that I wanted to live, and I was ready for God to take me. I walked across a busy street, and I remember telling God that if it was my time to go, then it was my time to go. Let Your Will be my way. If I make it across the street, I am going to call and get help. So, I just started walking through heavy traffic, untouched. After I made it across the street, I went to my friend’s house, I said call 9-1-1, I don’t want this anymore.”

After a few years of recovery, Tee’s mom passed away due to cancer. Her mother’s death brought up so many emotions that Tee was not equipped to work through, which led her to start drinking heavily again. “I went on a three-day drinking binge. I would wake up and drink, go to sleep and drink, and repeat. After three days, I was broken – physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was at my “rock-bottom” and called the University of Maryland Hospital crying and asking for help.”

“When I got to the hospital, I told them that I looked up [Helping Up Mission] online and saw the programs and what they had to offer. I was the last Program intake before COVID –19 restrictions temporarily prevented new clients.”

When Te’Ayra, first walked into Helping Up Mission’s Woman’s Program at our Chase St. Center, after years battling dependency on alcohol, she was excited but nervous where her journey would take her. “I knew that I would have to be open, vulnerable, and willing to make changes.”

“When you first walk into the HUM, you recognize the staff’s loving care. I was in a grief class taught by Ms. Vicki , and the other women were sharing their experiences. Their openness allowed me to open up for the first time and tell my story.”

“Then I got into the Spiritual Life class with Ms. Donna and started opening up even more. She is like my mother and having her in my corner allows me to be heard without judgment. Everyone thinks that I am so happy and cheerful, but I have my bad moments. These ladies listened to me and helped me out by giving me the perfect kind of love that I always wanted. They treated me as a human being.”

“The spiritual aspect of recovery is something that I have never really done before. I was born and raised in the church, but I never thought to involve the understanding of God with recovery. You need God in your life. And once you have God in your life, he is always there, even when you hit your rock bottom. He is always there through the good and the bad; he is your best friend and companion. “

Today, Tee “trusts the process. I am trying to live the straight righteous life with the Lord. HUM means a new way of life and hope.”

Tee works part-time in a little café. As part of her work therapy at HUM, she also works in the kitchen, giving back to the therapeutic community in a way that utilizes her love of cooking! Tee is being offered a position in HUM’s Internship Training Program, which will provide her with a stipend, continued basic needs and comprehensive wraparound services, and a way to give back and build the therapeutic community for women.

Thank you for providing this loving environment for Tee, and all the women gaining hope at our Chase St. Center!

“God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen.”

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Struggling with addiction for over 20 years, Ramon (39) asked God for help, “God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen.” Thanks to generous donors like yourself, Ramon’s prayers were answered, and he came to Helping Up Mission (HUM), where he has healed, “spiritually, mentally, and physically.”

Born in Guatemala, Ramon’s family moved a lot: from Costa Rica to the Dominican Republic, to Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. His father, a preacher in the Seventh Day Adventist church, and his mother did a good job of making his family feel safe during the many moves. “I never liked to be in one place for very long. I got used to moving and liked meeting new people and discovering new cultures,” recalls Ramon.

Being raised Seventh Day Adventist, with a strict ethical code against the consumption of alcohol, Ramon did not have his first drink until age 19.  That all changed while in college. “That first night, I drank two forty-ounce beers. After that, I never drank casually. Drinking was all or nothing and I always drank to get drunk and I didn’t care about the consequences.”

Ramon’s “no-care” lifestyle would continue for another 15 years. Much like his childhood relocations, Ramon would often move to change the situations, yet his addictions would resurface. “Through the geographical moves, I now realize that I was the problem. I had always blamed my situations on other things.” Ramon moved to California to live with his sister, but his addiction resurfaced and he moved to Texas with his brother. “I thought that if I were around my brother, everything would get better. But I wasn’t happy and quickly started isolating myself. I moved back with my parents who were living in New Jersey, and repeated the process. My father got transferred to Maryland, and I moved too.  The pattern repeated: I got healthy again but started drinking.

In Baltimore, Ramon got arrested and while in detention asked, “God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen. That is when I met John. He said that he knew of a place that would help me. I did not see him again and I was released. We never exchanged information and I did not know how to find him.  But through coincidence, or more likely by GOD, John was there when I returned to get my things. And that is how I found Helping Up Mission.”

“The hardest thing about the Spiritual Recovery Program at HUM is living in a dorm with 30 guys, although it is cool how the men come from all walks of life. Learning to stay still, letting the ‘fog clear’, and taking direction were also hard at first. But they (staff) provide us with so much and there are so many opportunities to carry us through the year. I joined the choir and connected with the group Brothers in Prayer. I signed up for everything that HUM had to offer, like backpacking. I joined a recovery homegroup and attended Celebrate Recovery.”

Throughout the year I also stayed connected with John. He said he had a job opening for me when I was ready. At first, it was hard to find a job because of my past. But HUM helped me expunge my criminal record, and I work for John now at Sofi’s Crepes Fells Point. A job that I can walk to! It has been a blessing.

As Ramon looks ahead to his future, he is thankful for HUM teaching him to sit still and just letting God lead. “I passionately want to be a Peer Recovery Specialist. I want to help people get over the hump of addiction. I know what they are going through, and I want to show them how they can start from nothing and relearn what they know about God, religion, and recovery.”

“My relationship with God today is very personal. Recovery has really helped me see His love for humankind, but we must find out how to love ourselves first. God has given me the gift of being comfortable around people. Because of my upbringing, I trust people, and that is what I want to help instill in others. By trusting in God, like when I prayed to him from the detention center, He opened the door and placed John into my life.”

“Today, I am most thankful for my health and my life. My family stuck with me, even when I was reaching a point in my life where (it seemed) there was no coming back.   I am thankful for God bringing back my sanity (Recovery Step 2). And I am thankful for love allowing me to adapt to and accept people where they are. I am grateful for HUM healing me: spiritually, mentally, and physically. If I had the opportunity to go back and talk to myself on my first day I would say, ‘Ramon, you are at the right place. God brought you here. It’s starting now!’ “

Thanks to donors, volunteers, and partners like you, Ramon is well on his way to becoming a Peer Recovery Specialist. His true life-transformation is a testament to your generosity on many levels. And the hope that Ramon provides the men and women that we serve is immeasurable.

 

April 2020 Feature Story – Patrick C.

Years of gradual drinking finally caught up to Patrick and when he had nowhere left to turn, he came to Helping Up Mission (HUM).  Because of your generous donations, Patrick has grown spiritually, learned new life skills, and gotten out of his comfort zone.

Patrick, 32, was born in Catonsville, MD, and raised on a cul-de-sac in Howard County’s Ellicott City, MD. His parents separated and divorced when he was eight years old, spending weekends with his dad and the school week with his mom.

For Patrick, drinking was so gradual that there never was an “aha moment,” where he recognized his growing addiction.  During high school, Patrick would often attend parties and drink to fit in. After graduation, “I took two years off from school but decided to go back because that’s what all of my friends were doing. I enrolled at Community College of Baltimore County (CCBC), but all my friends went to a different college. I would go to class and I would immediately start thinking about where the party was. Why was I sitting in class?” Patrick began missing classes, and as they added up, he dropped out of CCBC.

During this time Patrick acquired a job as a bartender. “At first I was a bar back. They put me in charge of carrying and stocking all the beer and liquor. Since I oversaw inventory, I would take sips out of bottles, restock them and count them as full. Soon I was coming into work hungover and drunk, and my coworkers noticed.

As his drinking progressed to full-blown alcoholism, Patrick was kicked out of his then girlfriends house and after looking for places to stay, ended up in a hotel.  “I couldn’t find anything in my price range that would allow me to continue drinking. Sitting in my hotel room, fearing that my money would eventually run out. I didn’t know what I was going to do so I reached out to my parents and a few friends. Everyone was baffled as to what to do. They always say reach out for support, but no one was ready for it.

My father’s friend Marty finally stepped up and took me to Bayview Hospital for detox. He told my father that I was trying to change my life and he (my dad) needed to step up. So, my father picks me up from the hospital, takes me out for breakfast, and then drives me to HUM. The first week was hell. I got emotional, hid in a bathroom stall, and cried. I realized that I did have a bad problem, but I was in a place where I could finally take care of some things.

The first couple of months at HUM were great. Everything is taken care of for you. You don’t have to worry about anything, except for going to appointments, class, and work therapy.  You are here for yourself.  Before HUM, when I would deal with stressful situations, I could drink. Now I take a second, process the situation, and then deal with them. I’ve learned patience, which has helped me in my relationships. My dad and stepmom both said they were happy for me to become a productive member of society. I used to take offense to that, I thought a bartender does exactly that, he gives people what they want. But I now see where they are coming from and look forward to living the “American Dream.”

The program helped me spiritually through the classes.  I’m not necessarily a Bible guy, but I have always believed in a higher power. My grandmother taught us about the bible, but the classes taught me to see things from a different perspective. Everyone wants to be a good productive person, but unless they think about it differently, they are thinking about it like an addict or alcoholic. Through the program, I have also taken part in the choir, equine therapy, and attended weekend outings at Camp Wabanna. It was nice to just get away for the weekend and have a break from the daily structure at HUM.

Patrick’s final work therapy assignment was with HUM’s IT department. “I have always wondered how things work and the thought processes associated with technology. As an intern in the IT department, I take care of all the electronics, computers, scanners, and help solve problems when something goes down. Recently, I started putting out my application and accepted an IT position at a company in Tampa, Florida. After graduation, I will spend a week with my father and then move down to Florida with my mother and start my new job.

Thanks to generous contributions from people like you, Patrick has gotten out of his comfort zone.  I realize that life-transformation is never too late. At HUM, you can find the drive to see the light at the end of the tunnel. You must make decisions that will benefit you and help you get there.  So, if you do hit rock bottom, and have nowhere left to turn, come to Helping Up Mission. You will not be by yourself. Getting out of your comfort zone is one of the most vital things you can do for your recovery. Because if you go back into your comfort zone, you’re never going to change!

Because of your generosity, Arthur Friday (age 37), has another chance to recover from addiction! Arthur was born in Baltimore, the oldest son of ten kids. Arthur’s life changed at age 9 when his father passed away, leaving the family reeling from the sudden loss. His mother, struggling with active addiction, was left with the daunting task of raising ten kids as a single parent.  “We were hungry, not going to school, down and dirty. My oldest sister “dumpster dove” to feed us.  Shortly thereafter, our conditions were reported to Social Services and all ten of us were placed in various stages of foster homes, group homes, and institutions,” recalls Arthur.

The oldest children, including Arthur, were placed in the KIVA House, a group home for 11 to 17 year olds in Arnold, MD. Arthur attended Severna Park High School, where he was a three-sport athlete playing football, basketball, and track. It was during this time that Arthur began drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana to have fun. Arthur admits, “Alcohol was my “trigger,” drinking was my gateway to other drugs.” His addiction progressed from there. Having graduated high school and attending Montgomery College to play football, “having fun” changed to owing people money for the cocaine he started using.

At age 23, Arthur returned to Baltimore and started living with his mother, then clean from her own addiction (she now has 18 years of sobriety). “My unmanageability was growing. I started lacing marijuana with cocaine. I wanted more and more and the cravings grew. I also started smoking crack cocaine. Within 30 days, I lost everything – my job, respect, money, and my responsibilities.”

“My mother’s boyfriend had been a HUM client and told me that HUM ‘would be a great place for help.’ In 2009, I came to HUM for the first time, but I stayed just 45 days.”

“I came back to HUM in 2011, this time as a member of the Johns Hopkins 9-1-1 program. I graduated from the program, but I was not done using drugs…I relapsed. In 2017, I spent nine months at the Mission. But I was selfish and moved in with my girlfriend. I eventually ended up at the Salvation Army, where I graduated from their six-month program. They offered me 3 different jobs, but I turned them all down. The same scenario unfolded, and I got selfish and relapsed again. Finally, six months ago I walked through the familiar doors of Helping Up Mission, hopefully for the last time.”

“The Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP) leaders gave me another chance. The staff at HUM have tremendous faith and will not give up on a person. They recognize addiction as a lifelong disease, and all that you have to do is apply the tools that they freely give you. The  program has provided me with mental health counselors who help me open up about the real issues that got me here.”

“My Treatment Coordinator Steven Gallop, a HUM graduate and staff member has helped guide my recovery. I’ve spent countless hours in the HUM gym, getting healthy again. Donors have provided all of the clothing and personal care products that I need. When it comes down to it, living at HUM means having all of your physical needs met so that you can pursue your spiritual needs.”

Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

“My favorite quote from the bible is from Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Now when I have a choice, I choose God.”

“The SRP has provided me with the life skills necessary to look forward to graduation. I want to use these skills in the field of recovery by becoming a Peer Recovery Specialist. I plan on taking the classes that our Workforce Development Program provides in order to help the men who like me, are struggling with this lifelong disease.”

Thanks to YOU and countless other donors and volunteers, Arthur and 540 other men and women have the chance each day to break the cycle of addiction and homelessness.  You are saving and transforming lives through your compassion and generosity!