Yasin Abdul Adi was born in Detroit, MI but, while still young, his family moved to Knoxville, TN – the places he considers his “hometown” today. Yasin says he always felt a God-connection and tried many things to deepen it – including 25 years practicing Islam. Here’s his story.


My high school graduation present was to be allowed to hitchhike to California and that’s when I experimented with marijuana, alcohol, LSD and heroin (but didn’t like the latter back then). In those days I associated getting high with new life and experiences.

Later on in life, we would sit around and get high, talk about the country and how bad it was; how it was for black people. I started using injectable drugs and eventually got around to shooting heroin.

I had some pretty good jobs during those years – iron worker, welding and data processing. But in 1984, after going through a divorce, I was put in jail for public drunkenness. Later charged with armed robbery – I received a 35 years! But I wasn’t a bad guy and, after 10 years, was paroled for good behavior.

I completed two years of college while in prison and, when released, enrolled in the University of Tennessee – earning a degree in psychology. With my psychology degree I worked as a youth teacher/counselor, wilderness therapist, crisis interventionist, community health coordinator and supervisor at a residential youth house.

But one of the things I struggled with was setting proper boundaries in relationships – I tended to get too involved. So, after working four years, I relapsed. And for the past 20 years it has been a cycle of crack cocaine and alcohol, getting locked up, getting out, using again and getting arrested again. It seemed like whenever I used drugs I broke out in handcuffs.

Download MP3

When I was released from prison in 2013, my mother had Alzheimer’s. I’m really proud of her – she was the first registered black nurse in Tennessee and later joined the faculty of the University of Tennessee. I tried to take care of her and did well for a while…but eventually relapsed and wound up back in jail.

Upon release I went to Knoxville Area Rescue Mission (KARM) and joined their program. It was working for me but I relapsed again. KARM put me in contact with HUM and that’s how I arrived here early in 2016.

Along the way, I had given up on Islam and came to realize that there was something different about Jesus. He personified mercy, grace and forgiveness to all of us – even though we continually fall short. I had a transformational moment at a tent revival in Nashville when they sang “Have Thine Own Way, Lord” – and I surrendered. It wasn’t emotional…it was just time. Jesus is the only One who personified mercy, grace and forgiveness, while we continually don’t quite hit the mark. That resonated with me.

I love Gospel music…because I love Jesus…and was so grateful to be able to join the HUM band when I arrived here. Knowing I always do better in recovery when I stay involved with physical activity, I also joined the Back On My Feet running team (BOMF) here at HUM. But BOMF isn’t just about running – they also offer financial literacy, resume classes and community service.

So in October I’m running the full marathon in the Baltimore Running Festival, representing HUM and BOMF. I need a team because of my loner tendencies. And I’ve learned a lot from running – I’m learning to slow down.

I’ve benefited greatly from my mental health counseling here at HUM. So I’ve started working on a certificate in drug and alcohol counseling which will count towards my masters in applied psychology and counseling. It will take a couple years…I’ll be 66 when I am done!

But I’m excited to help other people my age gain insights into their own possibilities – of training, of enlightenment, of being aware of all they can still do and be!

Yasin

 

You may have heard about Mark Ramiro in the news. Late one night in July 2014, he was with several friends – all high on drugs. They were filming stunts in the basement of his South Baltimore home, until things went fatally awry. Mark’s friend of 15 years, Darnell Mitchell, strapped on a bulletproof vest and asked to be shot in the chest. But Mark aimed inches too high, and the bullet hit Darnell just above the vest. Mark rushed his friend to the hospital, but it was too late.  

Mark came to Helping Up Mission in June 2015. He had already successfully participated in several short-term recovery programs, but he was still awaiting sentencing, and constantly wrestling with the trauma and shame of what he had done. In March 2016, Mark Ramiro was sentenced to 4 years – but he went to prison with 9 months’ clean time and, more importantly, a new perspective on his past and his future. Our chaplain, Vic King, spoke with Mark in jail.

Download MP3

Both my parents worked all the time to put food on the table, so I was pretty much on my own with my friends. I didn’t really know who I was, because I looked Filipino, but I talked and carried myself more as a West-Baltimore American. I just went with the flow. I started experimenting with alcohol and weed in middle school, and by 9th grade I was a real heavy weed smoker.

When I was 21, I went to art school in PA and got a degree in fashion marketing. I was making and selling t-shirts, doing tattoos, and filming music videos for local rap artists. But I started using pills – Percocets, Oxys, Opanas, Benzos – and it started affecting my whole character. And that led to my friend’s death.

You came to HUM on house arrest. What was it like at first?

Well, I broke the record for the longest restriction in Helping Up history (laughs) – it was either HUM or going to jail. So when I first got there I was upset; I didn’t want to be there. But I found Pastor Gary and Mike Rallo interesting. Pastor Gary would make me write the character quality of the week on the board every morning, because of my artistic skills.

I got real close to different guys. Mike is the security guy at the 23 desk, and they put me there for work therapy. We didn’t talk much at first. But he’s a giver, always helping other guys, and I would just observe him. Then we started talking. He trusted me for some reason, and that meant a lot to me. He could tell when I was going through stuff.

What aspect of HUM’s program helped you the most?

For me, I liked the spirituality – reading the Bible, praying, talking, meditating. A lot of times I would slip into the chapel, and sit in the corner where nobody could see me, and just think.

So how has God helped you in the midst of all this mess?

He’s helped me in trying to forgive myself, helped me not blame other people for my own screw-ups, helped me be open with other people, to talk with people. A lot of times in my life, I was antisocial. Maybe it was my character or maybe it was due to my drug addiction, I don’t know. But I try to follow what I’ve seen.

Before your sentencing, you were able to meet with your friend Darnell’s family. What was that like?

It was emotional, but it was good. It broke the ice. They were upset at me, which they have every right to be. I can’t be mad at that. For what I did, they were upset, but they were open, and they were forgiving. They hugged me a bunch of times. They told me how it hurt them, how it affected them. I apologized – words can’t express how sorry I am.

Describe your transition from HUM to prison.

Court was nerve-wracking. You pray for the best and expect the worst. I got nine years with five suspended. God works in mysterious ways, and I think he prepared me for that. Nobody wants to go to jail. I don’t care who you are, this place is not for anybody.

It was different from 2014 when I came here; it just felt different. I’m happy. Not to say I’m happy to be here, but I’m cool. I know this is temporary. I don’t know what the Big Man’s plans are for me, but this is part of it. This was like the icing on the cake to set things straight. And I think this is Him testing me too… Is this kid going to turn his back on Me? Is he going to lose his faith? Is he going to give up?

I still pray, frequently. I was reading the Gospel of John this morning. I think my faith in God kept me together. ‘Cause if you knew me then, and if you know me now, you could tell. I’m in the system… and I’m cool. I know it’s temporary. Walking around with a chip on your shoulder is not going to help. At all.

What are your hopes for life after prison?

I’m going to get a job, stay sober. I’m going to continue to do my artwork – paint, draw, hopefully open a t-shirt business. I want to tell people my story – the mistakes, the drug addiction – and see if I can help someone.

What would you want people to take from your story?

Be yourself, be honest. Have faith… because you have to lean on something beyond yourself. If you put yourself first, and you think it’s all about you, then you’re already lost. Stay clean, stay drug-free. I know it’s cliché to say, but it doesn’t lead anywhere but jail or death. God didn’t give you the blessing of life to waste it and to get trashed every day. You weren’t put on this earth for that. I’m happy to wake up every day, open my eyes and breathe.

Auto Draft 17

“Just a little over one year ago, I was worried about where my next meal was coming from, and how I could keep myself from freezing to death. After wandering around, with no real purpose, I had nearly given up. All hope was gone, so I began to look for a building tall enough to jump from.

“I then decided that if there was a God, I could at least ask for some guidance in what appeared to be my 11th hour. I spent a few nights sleeping on a steam grate after a bit of hope filled my spirit. I went to Johns Hopkins Hospital, the very place I was born. I told them that I had contemplated suicide in the recent weeks, so they kept me for the standard mental evaluation. After that, off to the HUM I went.

“Upon entering 911, I was greeted by Pete, who is cooler than the other side of the pillow. In all seriousness, I had struggled with my faith for some time. Pete would talk about God, and after watching how he carried himself, I started to believe that he believes.

“Between Pete, and my sponsor, and a few other genuinely good people, I started to believe for myself. For me, this evolved into daily prayer. I began to seek the love within all of us that binds us together so tightly, to overcome the fears that would tear us apart.”

Kody Jenkins, age 32, was raised in Carroll County. “I have always loved basketball,” says Kody. “I started playing when I was 5 years old and soon enrolled in community leagues.”

“When I was 12 years old, I started smoking weed and drinking. During my junior and senior year, I moved to acid and heroin and cocaine. I was still playing basketball. In my senior year, I was 3rd in Carroll County for most points scored. Scouts started talking to me and I had a promising college basketball career to look forward to.

Arrested for the first time

“When I was 17 years old, I was arrested for the first time. I was in and out of courtrooms. Right after high school, I had an assault charge. Three days later, I was arrested on major drug charges. They gave me a nine year sentence of which I served about five years.

“After I got out of prison, I knew I still had the basketball talent but I saw the opportunity slipping way from me. I was in and out of rehabs and kept telling myself I would try to play basketball when I got the oppurtunity. Over the next 5 years, I was incarcerated 4 more times and went to rehabs 6 times.

“I didn’t have any relationship with my family during those years. I couldn’t look myself in the mirror let alone be around my family the way that I was. Because of my actions, I hurt family members very badly. I knew I had really messed up and that hurt even more badly than the prison time.

“I got to the point where I had no control over myself or my addiction. If I didn’t get help I would eventually start robbing stores or doing other things I didn’t want to do. I knew it was time to get help. I had heard about Helping Up Mission in the past and decided that it was time to give it a try.

Life was always on the run

“Before I came to the Mission, life was always on the run. I don’t remember ever enjoying life. After I had been at the Mission for a while, I noticed that I was starting to have fun. We went on a retreat to Camp Wabanna. I woke up early so I could catch the sunrise – it was serene. As I started to come to peace with myself, the dream of playing college basketball was reborn.

“My Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer. When I heard the news, I realized I needed to be able to face him before he died and apologize for that pain I had caused. I had forgiven myself and I knew he had too but I needed to go to him. I visited him and we had a long talk – that was the start of our reconciliation.

Back on my Feet

“My Dad’s diagnosis gave me the motivation to start pursuing my dream of college basketball. I started working out and joined Helping Up Mission’s running team through Back On My Feet.

“I started talking to John, a HUM volunteer who works for Maryland Economic Opportunity Center – an organization that assists individuals in obtaining grants. He knew that I didn’t know how to get started. He helped me fill out the applications and helped me connect with the basketball coach at CCBC Dundalk.

“The coach invited me to attend an open house and try out. When I met the coach, I told him that I had a rough past and things were hard in my 20’s but I was there now. I told him that I wanted an education and I had been waiting for this opportunity for 14 years. He told me that everyone deserves a second chance and that they had a place for me on the team.

“Once I was accepted, I started preparing for college! I enrolled in a summer class to get me prepped for school. I also took advantage of the tutoring services at the Mission to prepare me for my placement classes. Having a tutor allowed me to pass the test and avoid two non-credit classes.

“Running with Back On My Feet prepared me to play basketball again.”

“Running with Back On My Feet prepared me to play basketball again. They taught me discipline through getting up and running every morning. Running helped me to improve my speed.

“I love playing basketball! I’ve been playing in the games and doing really well. It’s a dream come true to finally be playing college basketball.

“Helping Up Mission is a blessing! The Spiritual Recovery Program is set up in a wonderful way. I came to the Mission with a lot of pain. The first 45 days of the program when I was on restriction and unable to leave the building gave me time to stay still and get my head right. Having memory work in Pastor Gary’s class was important to help me start thinking again.

“Having access to counseling at the Mission was critical. The counselors helped guide me through the time with my Dad. They always pointed me back to my relationship with God.

“Helping Up Mission has everything you need to change you life but it’s not going to fall in your lap. At the Mission, I realized that I needed to seize those opportunities. They give you anything you need to change your life!

 

Darius Tabrizi was born and raised in Israel. “My mother’s family originated from Israel and my father’s family is from Iran,” says Darius. “I have a twin brother and younger sister.”

“My father came to the US to start a better life for us. We were not able to come right away because we weren’t able to leave during the war. In 1991, the Gulf War ended and my mother brought us here. I was 11 years old. I didn’t speak English when I came here – only Hebrew and Arabic. Baltimore was very different than our small town facing the Mediterranean. I was beat up within my first two weeks here.

“At the age of 14, I was introduced to marijuana and alcohol by boys in the neighborhood. My mind had always been racing and wondering what people thought of me. When I drank, it numbed that and I felt accepted.

“I had gotten into trouble for fighting in Israel and that continued at my public school in Baltimore. I was expelled from two middle schools and three different high schools for fighting. I got my GED through the Youth Corps program.

“I joined the Navy in part to escape legal issues I was facing due to serious drug charges. After finishing boot camp, I was sent to Japan. For two years – I was a great sailor. I received several commendations and awards. My alcohol use was limited to social drinking.

“The War on Terror was under way and I started experiencing racial discrimination. I tried to blend in and said I was whatever ethnicity people thought I was. That really disturbed me and I started drinking heavily. I met a guy in Tokyo who introduced me to drugs – cocaine, crystal meth and ecstasy.   For the next year and a half, I was still in the Navy but began selling drugs on the side. When I had the best looking car on base and an apartment in town, it started to raise questions.

“Unknown to me, NCIS was doing an investigation on me for six months. Just months before I was done with my tour, I was arrested and thrown in a Japanese prison. NCIS pulled me out and took me to a marine corps brig in Japan. I was there for three months – after two months, I was put into solitary confinement for fighting with a corrections officer. My JAG lawyer met with me and I was given an other than honorable discharge and was released.

“I arrived back in Baltimore broken in every way. I was 23 years old and homeless. I came to Helping Up Mission as an overnight guest. For several years I was in a cycle of running the streets hard core and then coming to a homeless shelter for a week or so to regain my strength before going back out again.

“In 2010, I went to American Rescue Workers In South Baltimore. I was tired of my lifestyle and gave my life to Christ. Life started turning around for me. I got a job at McDonalds and started running with Back on My Feet. I joined an apprenticeship program and became a really good electrician and was hired by Hirsch Electric. For the first time ever, I had my own apartment. I started my own business and was going to night classes. I celebrate 4 years clean and sober.

“My life was going great and I had so much distance from my old life that I began to forget. I put everything ahead of my recovery – I stopped going to church and meetings. I got into a motorcycle accident and starting taking pain pills. It was a quick progression from pain pills to alcohol to street drugs. Within a year, I was homeless and had lost my business, girlfriend, truck, home and my savings.

“My father died of cancer in November of 2014. It was one of the worst years of my life. I spent Thanksgiving in a rental car out of gas off of the side of the road. I was estranged from my family and all alone.

“I ran into an old friend, Barry, who works at Helping Up Mission and he told me I needed to come back. I came to the Mission in December 2014 but left to deal with legal issues. I stayed sober for a few months but eventually relapsed.

“I came back to Helping Up Mission in the spring. This time I’m doing things differently. I’m not cocky like I was before and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

“My mom sells mushrooms at the Sunday farmer’s market under the Jones Falls Expressway. She reached out to me to find out if HUM could use any vegetables for the market. Each week, I go to the farmer’s market to help my mom and then collect the leftover produce from all the vendors to bring to HUM.

“I’ve always loved my mom dearly. It feels great to be able to help her at the farmer’s market. There was a time where she thought I wouldn’t make it. Now she doesn’t have to worry about me.

“Helping Up Mission helped me reestablish my relationship with God, reaffirm my values and learn how to handle situations and personalities that conflict with my character. I lean more on God now. I am 100% serious about and committed to my recovery this time.

“Helping Up Mission is the best. I have been to every homeless shelter, recovery house and transitional house in Baltimore. HUM is the most genuine, caring and influential program I have found. They genuinely care about you and you can feel it. It’s not about filling a bed – it’s about your future.”

Michael Knighton, age 54, grew up in East Baltimore. “When I was a young boy, I got into boxing because of my brother,” says Michael. “My brother had me out on the corners getting into fights with other kids to earn money when I was about 7. My step-father found out what was happening. He took me off of the corner and to a boy’s club where I could be trained in boxing. I was excited about training and did a lot of amateur boxing.

“When I was 10 years old, my step-father took my mother and brother and I on a boat ride. My step-father saw a little boy in distress in the water. He jumped in to save the little boy’s life. He saved the little boy as well as the boy’s parents. But, on his way back to our boat, my step-father was caught in a current and drowned. I wanted to try to save him but my mother held me back.

“I used to take out my anger in the boxing ring. Boxing was everything to me. When I was 19, I threw a punch and blew my shoulder out. I was rushed into surgery. That surgery led to subsequent surgeries and many pain medications to try to control the pain.

“Boxing had been my outlet to deal with my anger. From that point on, I was heavily into pain medication. I started getting into trouble – forging prescriptions to get more medicine. I was breaking the law all of the time to feed my habit. I was in and out of jail a lot. Eventually I moved from pain pills to heroin.

“For 30 years, I lived dependent on drugs. My body was so used to opiates that, without them, I didn’t feel normal. I was homeless and alone. Earlier in my life, I had gotten two teardrop tattoos on my face. As I walked the streets, I felt that people were always judging me because of my tattoos. I didn’t feel like a normal member of society.

“I finally told myself that enough was enough and it was time to get clean. If I could lie on a prison floor and sober up, I could do it on my own. I went to a methadone program but they wouldn’t accept me.

“I started walking with nowhere to go. I came to the 1000 block of East Baltimore Street and saw the sign for Helping Up Mission. I remembered the good things I had heard about this place so I decided to stay for the night. After hearing about the Spiritual Recovery Program, I decided to give it a try. I had nothing to lose!

“My body was in agony for the first two months that I was at the Mission. My nervous system was a mess as I went through withdrawals after 30 straight years of heroin use. My legs would twitch at night as I tried to fall asleep. I felt like my body had been invaded by an alien being who jumped up and tortured me whenever he felt like it.

“I was assigned to a mental health counselor. I started talking about things that I’d never opened up to anyone about – private matters that I never felt comfortable dealing with. I started to learn to trust people and began to realize that not everyone was judging me. I started to get the sense that people were starting to view me differently and I began to feel accepted.

“As I started to view myself as a different person, I wanted my body to reflect the changes that were happening inside. I decided that it was time to get rid of my tear drop tattoos that, for so many years, had been a visible symbol of my pain.

“My mental health counselor helped me look for a place that could help me with that and she reached out to Maryland Laser Skin and Vein. She explained my situation and how I was working to change my life.   They agreed to do the procedures for free. When it was done, the doctor told me the staff was proud of me and to continue on in my good work.

“The first day that I walked around without the tattoos on my face, I finally didn’t feel like an outcast anymore. I was able to walk in stores and not feel like I was being judged as a gang member or trouble maker.

“About that same time, I started working out again. I started out slowly and got back into my old routine before long. I started giving exercise advice to the guys who were in the fitness center with me. It felt great to be able to help them.

“I also started getting dental work done through the Mission’s dental program. When I entered the program, I didn’t have any teeth at all because of an issue with a mouthpiece during my boxing days. Now, I have a full set of teeth!

“I feel so confident these days and am walking with my head held high. People look at me and acknowledge me who would have never given me a second glance a year ago. But, my change isn’t just on the outside. On the inside, I can feel everything going on. My feelings and emotions were sedated by my drug use for so many years. Now I get emotional in ways I never had before.

“I was 19 when my son was born. I was in and out of his life. His life has been filled with a lot of my broken promises. After I came to the Mission, we started communicating again and we are working on our relationship.

“Since I’ve been at the Mission, my relationship with God has grown. I can clearly see how He has been working in my life – no one else could make the transformation happen but Him.

“HUM has become family to me. Every day I look forward to being with the other men here. I find ways to help someone and that means a lot to me.

“I’m so thankful to all of the donors that make HUM a reality. Because of them, men like me and the other guys at HUM get a second chance at life. Helping Up Mission was put here as a gift from God so we get a chance to mend our lives and our relationships with others we have hurt in the past. Today I am the man I always knew in my heart that I could be.”