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“I was using drugs for so long that I didn’t know how to live without them.”

Dustin was a Baltimore City firefighter when he fell through a flight of stairs and was injured. He was prescribed pain pills to help him recover, and “started needing more and more.”

“When I couldn’t pass the physical to go back to the department, the insurance got cut off, which means the doctor got cut off. I realized I was addicted and started feeling the withdrawal.” So, Dustin started buying pain pills on the street. When he couldn’t get them anymore, a buddy suggested trying heroin as a stronger and cheaper alternative.

He woke up one morning and couldn’t find any drugs. He remembers, “I was sitting around, hating myself, and hating life. I cursed God a lot and was wondering what went wrong.” A week earlier his sister and mom had tried an intervention. Dustin decided to try to detox and went to Bayview Hospital. He was in there for seven days when a social worker, “an angel on my shoulder” as Dustin puts it, came to him and explained that he needed to do something or he would die. She told him about Helping Up Mission and showed him videos of the Mission on YouTube, but he still wasn’t sure.

Eventually, Dustin decided to come to HUM. He remembers, “When the cab pulled up out front, I was scared and nervous. I was still sore and feeling [the effects of withdrawal]. I was using drugs for so long that I didn’t know how to live without them.”

At first, a year seemed daunting, but after three months of going to classes and chapel, he decided he wanted to stay. “I liked the way I was feeling. Every time I would see [my mom]; she would say ‘You’re looking good. You’re walking tall now. Keep it up.’”

“I started building a strong support network. I was making good friends. We started playing softball together. We were all learning to live again, learning to play again, learning to have fun again. Besides my family, the friends that I made here that are still my friends today; I consider them family now. There is no way we would be where we are now without each other’s support. We still hold each other accountable every day.”

When he came to HUM, Dustin knew his mother had terminal cancer. The time they had together while he was going through recovery allowed them to get to know each other better than ever before. Dustin remembers, “It was kind of a blessing that we knew she was terminal and we got to know each other [again]…it was liberating. One Sunday I visited her, and they did a church service in the cafeteria at the nursing home. We prayed together there for the first time probably since I was a little boy. I still remember that.”

After about six months, as Dustin was beginning to get his life together, he got a phone call that his four-year-old son had pneumonia and was in the hospital. Although they thought he was getting better, he did not begin to breathe on his own when the hospital removed the ventilator. Dustin was on his way to say his goodbyes to his son when his friends rallied around him. They wouldn’t let him go the hospital on his own. They were with him and went through the painful time with Dustin. While he was numb and thought about using again, he didn’t want to lose all of his progress and all the trust he had built back up. He didn’t want to disappoint those who believed in him. “I loved to see the look on my mom’s face. I loved that my daughter smiles back at me now.”

His mom’s health was deteriorating, and she could not make it to his son’s funeral. Three weeks later, Dustin’s sister called to say that his mother only had a day or two left. He and his sister spent the night with his mom as she passed away. “I just felt gratitude. If I would have picked up [and started using] after my son passed away, then I wouldn’t have been able to be there with my mom. It just kind of put everything in perspective for me. As hard as it was, it was peaceful. We were able to be there with her. I was clean and clear-minded. I was at peace, and she was at peace.”

Dustin explained how he continued his recovery during this difficult time. “I leaned on my network. That is a big part of my story; I had that positive network.” He remembers, “It was hard at first. All I knew is that I had to keep moving forward.” A few days after his mom had passed away, Mike Rallo encouraged Dustin to share his story with the new guys at HUM. “It was an emotional day. When I walked out of there, I just felt a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders.” It was also an opportunity for him to help others at HUM. “Before, I thought nobody’s going to learn from me.” Now he can see that others learn from his struggles and how he got through it.

Dustin graduated in November of 2015. Shortly after graduation, Dustin and his close friends were all offered staff positions at HUM. He recalls, “To be able to give back to a place that saved all of our lives, it was awesome.” He continues, “It’s about the guys that are here in the program. Just to be able to give back to them, it’s a special place, and I feel it when I walk in here.”

Dustin has a new life after coming to HUM. In August, he had a new a life come into the world when he and his wife had a baby boy. “Hopefully I went through the struggles so he won’t have to.” Dustin’s daughter is eleven now, and he gets to be there for her, too. “I love being a dad.”

Dustin says that those who support HUM matter. “You save lives every day. I’m not just thankful, but I’m sure my family is. I’m sure my kids are. I’m sure my mom was thankful to have her son for her last six months – her real son, not her son who was showing up high.”

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Born into a Marine family in North Carolina, Jackie was one of six children. His parents divorced when he was twelve, so Jackie grew up with his mother and was close to his grandmother who shared her faith with the family.

Not having his father around was quite difficult for Jackie. “The last time I saw my dad was when I was twelve years old and when I saw him again, I was twenty-four,” he shared. Jackie started drinking with older friends when he was sixteen.  “I wanted to do it to try it out.”  Jackie continues, “When I first started using, I just gave up.  When my daddy left, it took a lot out of me. I said well, if I do this, maybe I will get some attention. I got attention, but it wasn’t the right kind of attention.”

By the time he dropped out of high school in 12th grade, Jackie believes that he was already an alcoholic.  He recalls, “Momma told me I’ve got to go or go back to school, so I left the house.” He stayed in the area but would work during the day and drink at night. It only took a few years before he started using drugs.  Jackie continued to drink and use cocaine for many years, working odd jobs and just getting by.

About five years ago, Jackie came to Maryland to see his father who was living in the area and had been diagnosed with cancer.  “When I saw my daddy in the hospital, I made a promise I would stop.  I made a promise to him, and I stopped for a while.  But it took a toll when he died, and I couldn’t help it.” After his father had died, Jackie stayed clean for a while, but gave up and picked back up again. 

A few months later, Jackie had a light stroke.  His wife is a nurse, and she recognized the symptoms.  Even after the stroke, Jackie kept on drinking and doing drugs.  His wife finally gave him the ultimatum: “It’s either the liquor or me.” After that, things just kept going downhill. She left him, “but at the time, I didn’t care,” Jackie said.  He had to move in with his uncle and kept up the drinking and drugs for about three years.

He heard about Helping Up Mission from his cousin, a bishop at a local church. “I was tired,” Jackie remembers, so he agreed to come and was ready for the year-long Spiritual Recovery Program. Jackie recalls that he was worried about coping with all of the other guys at the mission, but he knew he needed HUM.

Jackie shares, “When I got here I asked God to help me stay faithful and humble and to give me patience. I went into the chapel one afternoon, and the choir was singing, and I just felt the power. I wanted to join the choir. Ever since then, I’ve been singing in the choir.” 

His cousin also told Jackie’s wife that he was at HUM, and she came to see him after the 45-day blackout of Seed Phase when residents have no access to computers, cell phones and are not allowed to leave the campus generally. Jackie explains, “She told me that she never gave up on me.  She wanted me to get myself together.” Once she saw his recovery, his wife suggested he move back in, but Jackie wanted to finish up his time at HUM, responding, “I told her I’m not leaving.  I’ve got to do this for me.”

While at the Mission, Jackie was able to participate in Cornerstone, the substance abuse program associated with Johns Hopkins that is embedded at HUM. This program helps residents understand the effects of chemical addiction physically, and employs group therapy sessions. Shortly after he finished up the Cornerstone program, Jackie became an Intern in food services at the Mission. 

Jackie is going to take full advantage of every opportunity given to him and has decided to not only finish the recovery program, but he has also decided he wants his high school diploma. Jackie has two choices to obtain his high school diploma: the more traditional General Equivalency Diploma based on exams and the National External Diploma Program (NEDP). The NEDP is based on life experiences and course work, such as real life skills like financial budgeting. Both tracks require computer literacy, resume writing and job search skills.  He will benefit from the Innovative Learning Center at the Mission and use the tutors provided to him and other assistance while he prepares for the exam.

After he successfully completes both the Spiritual Recovery Program and his GED, Jackie is looking forward to getting a job and spending more time with his wife and his church. 

When asked about HUM, Jackie says, “This place is awesome. These people will go out of their way to help you out in any way you can.” Jackie wants to thank those who support Helping Up Mission in a variety of ways: “Thank you for all of your offering, dedication, and your donations. You are tremendously helpful people. The volunteers are awesome. They are real good people.”

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Nick has been able to rebuild his relationship with his mother and brothers, and now he can help others do the same!

Nick is the youngest of three boys whose parents divorced when he was young. He admits that he was spoiled and played both parents to get what he wanted. His brothers stayed with his mom most of the time, but Nick would go back and forth between both parents. He liked to stay with his more lenient dad, who was also an addict.

At the age of ten, Nick started drinking alcohol and using marijuana. When he was twelve, he was using regularly. His addiction got worse, and by the time he was fifteen, Nick’s mom sent him to a recovery program in Utah. He hated the program, and was angry at his mom for sending him. He explains, “I always loved my mom, more than anything in the world. She was a wonderful lady, but I was always mad at her for that.”

While he was in Utah, Nick didn’t use, and completed two years of high school. He thought he had recovered and wanted to return to Maryland to be a normal student and play sports for his senior year. Nick convinced his dad to get him out of the program and let him come back to play football and baseball.

Upon returning, Nick earned the starting quarterback role on his varsity team. He drank occasionally, and once the football season was over, he drank frequently. During baseball season, Nick hurt his arm and started taking pain medication which he became dependent on..

He played baseball for a year in college, but his reliance on pain medications led to a heroin addiction, and soon, Nick didn’t want to do anything other than feed his habit. He quit school and managed to survive for several years with the help of his father.

He eventually moved back with his mom, but he wasn’t able to hold a job or have a relationships. Again, his mom tried to help by bailing him out when he got in trouble and sending him to rehabs. One of the programs had a spiritual focus, and that was where Nick discovered his desire for a relationship with God.

Unfortunately, he returned from one of the rehab programs to find that his brother had started using, too. Nick returned to his old ways and even began to sell drugs out of his mother’s house. His mom had finally had enough and said they couldn’t live there anymore. Enraged, Nick went to Las Vegas to live with his father. “I was not nice about it at all. I could not control my emotions. I am a completely different person now. I don’t even recognize the guy that I used to be.”

Nick lived two and half years in Vegas. He was always high, repeatedly arrested, and at one point found his father on the floor unconscious from an overdose and with a blood infection from shooting up. In the end, Nick was living in a trailer that didn’t have power or water. He was exhausted, and when his aunt came out to bring him home, he returned reluctantly to the East Coast.

Nick has a family friend on the Board of Helping Up Mission who recommended that he and his brother come to HUM. Although Nick was not ready to stop, his brother was ready, and came to HUM’s Spiritual Recovery Program. He recalls “I wanted to stop, but I didn’t want to.” As Nick went through several other programs, he realized, “I didn’t really want to live. I didn’t want to die. I didn’t want to do what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop.” He kept trying and kept slipping up, but all of those places helped keep him alive until he was ready to stop. “I always believed that once I was ready to stop, I could with God’s help.” Nick called his brother after he had messed up again, and his brother suggested he come to HUM.

Nick remembers walking through the door and just crying. He was worn out and wanted to stop. When he came in it felt good and safe, and he could finally let his guard down. At HUM, he could focus on what he needed to do to get better. He had the chance to address the root causes of his addiction. For the first time, Nick didn’t immediately seek out a social circle. Instead, he focused on his recovery and did the work he needed to recover.

One thing Nick had to work on was his relationships. He was tired of hurting everyone. When his mom came to visit, it was tough to see her, and they both cried. She visited every week and welcomed him home.

There were years that Nick didn’t communicate with his mother, and there were times she enabled him, believing she was helping him. Eventually, she made the tough choice to say “whenever you are ready, I am here.” It was certainly tough for him to hear, but now Nick proudly declares that his mother is “the best woman I ever met. She is loving and caring and always did everything she could for my brothers and me. She always put us first.”

It has been almost a year since Nick graduated from HUM. He now works as an Intern in the Program Office at the Mission and helps other men find their way. Thanks to you, Nick has been able to rebuild his relationship with his mother and brothers, and now he can help others do the same!

Wes, 33 years old, was born and raised in Baltimore.  His family sent him to an all male private high school to allow him to get a good education. “While I was there,” he explains, “I probably didn’t enjoy everything about it. But after graduating, I really appreciate having the opportunity to go somewhere like that.” However, while in high school, Wes started gained access and started using substances, like Ritalin and Aderall – taking prescription medication for Attention Deficit Disorder, even though he was not diagnosed with ADD. From there, he moved onto other drugs, including marijuana, hallucinogens, and OxyContin.   

Wes graduated high school and moved on to Towson University, where his addiction intensified.  He was eventually expelled for selling marijuana from his dorm room. For several years Wes worked dead-end jobs in order to support his habit. Then he started selling again. “I kind of felt like it made people need me in their lives,” he explains. “I always had trouble making friends on my own, so I figured…if I sell addictive substances, they’ve gotta be my friend.”

Eventually his house was raided, he was arrested, and he moved back in with mom. At that point, Wes knew he was on a downward spiral. He was only twenty-eight years old. Wes was going through what he called “spiritual decay and just feeling tired with life.” At this point he knew, “I had nothing to sell; I had nothing to give; I was just really taking everything… trying to fill the void inside with drugs.” 

Wes went back to Towson University, managing to get good grades despite continued drug use, and earned his degree in Environmental Science. But even after earning his degree, he getting dead-end jobs, staying up all night using and sleeping all day. He thought it was the chemicals that caused the schedule, but since he has been at HUM he has realized: “It was really a lot of self-image and self-esteem issues, being ashamed of showing my face outside in public. I didn’t want to see the light of day, or the ‘normal’ people going about their business.”

Thanks to you… Wes is gaining confidence to live as the man he was created to be!

At one point, Wes went to ask his mother for money. She suggested he get some help, but Wes protested that he didn’t have insurance or any way to pay for a treatment program.  But, his sister’s boyfriend had been to HUM and told him about it. Wes spent that night in his mother’s basement, thinking, and finally decided he was ready for something else. So at the age of thirty-two, he started his recovery journey at HUM. 

When he first arrived, Wes was in a fog, but was ready to surrender. He was surprised that everyone seemed friendly and willing to help him. It took a while to settle in, though, because he was used to the schedule of sleeping during the day and staying up at night. 

At about four months, Wes started to acclimate to recovery. “Making regular class attendance, grudgingly waking up for work therapy, and at least trying to do the best I could do” are all things he says have helped.  “It really has gotten easier. As somebody who would go to sleep before the birds wake up, my work therapy [has me] wake up with the birds and go clean up cigarette butts on East Baltimore Street. I am out there dancing around with my music on, and I am having a blast.”

Besides his work therapy, Wes suggests that other aspects of life at HUM have really helped, especially the sense of community. “I’ve never experienced anything like it,” he says. During his time here, Wes has also taken the opportunity to meet regularly with his mental health counselor. “The mental health coordination is great. I can be honest with my counselor, tell them whatever is going on with me inside.”

For Wes, one of the most meaningful parts of the HUM community has been the choir. It took him some time to gain the confidence to join, but once he did, Wes found he was in his element. “The people who sing in the choir get a lot out of it – finding some purpose – helping us to realize that we need to trust God and just do the best we can. I love getting up there. I have always been an introvert, and never thought my skills would be enough to be on a showcase. But, I love getting up there and showing off my moves.” Through the choir, Wes has had some additional leadership opportunities which have been personally affirming. It has been an encouragement to Wes to realize that “people see more in me than I can see in myself sometimes.”

Wes graduates in a few months, and he is waiting on God as he discerns the best way to move forward.  Wes is thrilled to have a better relationship with his family. Where he used to be a hindrance, he is now a help.  His self-image issues have come a long way, and he is learning new ways to live in confidence and freedom. While he would eventually like to work in his field of study – Environmental Science – Wes is not anxious. “I can take this time, figure out what is best for me, and set things in motion.” He knows that God will make a way for him.

What does Wes think of HUM? “It saved my life, and I think it can work wonders in anyone’s life, even if they don’t think it can.” To all friends and supporters of Helping Up Mission, he has this to say: “Thanks for showing me that God loves me!”

WesR

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Julio knows how it feels to be successful in the world’s eyes, but had to learn to be still and serve in order to succeed in his recovery.

Julio Santana grew up in an upper middle class family in Baltimore.  His father was an electrical engineer and his mother was a dermatologist, both at Johns Hopkins Hospital.  He attended private school where he played football and baseball, and sang in the choir.  His success in high school led him to Tuskegee University.  He graduated from Tuskegee with a degree in finance.

Julio started using alcohol as a teenager.  His cousin gave him his first 40-ounce bottle while he was in tenth grade and he realized that it helped him relax.  Drinking became a social part of Julio’s life and he continued drinking throughout college.

After graduation from Tuskegee, Julio started working in Virginia at a job that required him to “wine and dine” clients with an unlimited expense account.  He was living the dream with five cars and an amazing apartment.  After three years, he left this job because the multiple promotions and great material goods were not enough.  He wanted more.  Julio admits that his drinking increased during this time, but he was still functioning.

On September 11, 2001, Julio returned to the Baltimore area to start a new job in mortgage banking.  He had incredible financial success and worked for three years in the industry. But that still wasn’t enough.

He eventually left the mortgage banking firm in order to partner with his best friend in a fast food franchise.  They built up their new store and again found success.  The shop was ranked fifth in the region for the first three years that Julio and his partner owned the store.  That led to the decision to open a second store, all before he had turned thirty years old!

Looking back, Julio can see that the second shop was a mistake.  It cost more money to start and was a “problem store” from the start.  Also, next door to the store was a bar.  Julio became an absentee owner and let the teenagers working behind the counter more or less run the shop.  He had always been the responsible one, the one to fix problems, but he wasn’t that guy this time around.  He ended up having to sell the store and had to start all over again. 

This time Julio worked in the home repair business and did much of the actual labor himself.  He felt his life spinning out of control at this point, but still didn’t realize he was an alcoholic.

It took the death of his parents to open his eyes.  Julio’s mother had been ill and he felt bad that his father had been the one taking care of his mom, when Julio felt he should have been the one helping out.  After his mother passed away, Julio’s father told Julio that he was wasting his gifts because of alcohol.  But Julio still didn’t think he had an addiction; he thought addictions could only happen if he used hard drugs.  One of the last things Julio’s father said to Julio was, “Son, please stop drinking”.

After the death of both parents, Julio tried to clean up and was sober for several months.  But one day the pressures of life, the guilt and the shame all just caused him to give up.  He ended up sabotaging a job he was on and left to get drunk.

It took Julio three tries to get into Helping Up Mission.  On his first attempt, he arrived and had to wait to get in the door, but he wasn’t ready so he gave up and left.  On his second attempt, he came with too much luggage.  He wasn’t ready to let go of his material things and so he returned to a friend’s house (he had no other place to go) thinking he would never come back.  But, God had different plans for Julio.  On Veteran’s Day of 2015, Julio only had $5 on him and was so depressed that he knew he had to do something.  He walked for two and a half hours, stopped for one last beer, and then caught a ride to the train station to get to HUM. 

Although he had still packed several bags to bring with him, at some point he had to surrender it all and start fresh.

At first, he was afraid and he had a rough start.  It took him until around the sixty-day point to get comfortable with the idea that he was exactly where he needed to be.  Julio had borrowed a truck from a friend, but it broke down and he saw that as “a sign” to sit still and focus on his one-year in the Spiritual Recovery Program.

Julio graduated in November and is currently a graduate intern in the IT department at HUM. During his time here, Julio learned to sit still and to take responsibility for things again.  He also learned that helping doesn’t mean that you will fix a problem for another person; it means guiding people to a better way and then allowing them to go make it happen. 

Shortly before graduation, Julio took a Peer Advocate Training course.  This training will allow Julio to work in emergency rooms and counsel (as a peer) to those in need.  He can help in a specialized way that doctors and nurses aren’t always able to because they do not have first-hand experience of recovery.  He can advocate for and educate those in need and then help them so that they won’t necessarily need to return to the ER.

Whether Julio will choose to work in the IT field or as a Peer Advocate is not quite clear to him.  It is clear that helping people is a passion that burns deep within!  But right now, he needs to sit still and let God call the shots for his future.  With that as his plan, he can’t go wrong.

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Watch the video above, as Wayne describes his process of forgiveness…

Wayne grew up in a violent home, with a stepfather who regularly abused his mother. From his preteen years on, Wayne planned to get revenge by killing him. But after several decades of consuming hatred and active addiction, Wayne was able to get clean and forgive his stepfather. He eventually even cared for his stepfather through the final stages of cancer.

Wayne has always loved to cook. Now, he’s training to become a chef. In the video below, you can see more of his journey as described by his sister, along with the recovery stories of two other men.

Aaron Benn, age 30, grew up in the Cherry Hill neighborhood of Baltimore. “I ran away from my Dad when I was 13 and moved in with my mom,” says Aaron. “She let me do whatever I wanted and I thought that was the life. I stole my mother’s car when I was 15 so she kicked me out. I went back to my dad but in the 10th grade, I dropped out of school and ran away.

“I started selling drugs at 15. I was arrested for attempted murder at age 17. I was innocent and eventually released. I earned respect from the guys in the neighborhood for getting locked up but not telling on the person who did it. That only encouraged me to dig deeper into the street life.

“I had experimented with drugs before but my addiction really developed at age 18 when I tried Percocet after a basketball injury. At age 27, I tried heroin for the first time. Not long after, a federal indictment come down in Cherry Hill and 40 people were locked up – half of them were my close friends. I stopped selling drugs because I didn’t want to be involved in that. But, I still had my drug habit and I could no longer afford it after I stopped selling drugs.

“Everything started falling apart. I couldn’t pay my bills. I left my girlfriend and went into isolation thinking that would be better for me and help me get over using. Instead of helping, my addiction became 20 times worse. I left my place and went to stay with my uncle and started selling drugs again.

“I grew weary of the life I was living. I finally woke up and realized I didn’t want to go any farther down the path I was on. I knew I had been raised better than that. I went to my aunt and uncle’s and asked them to help me. I told them that I wanted to get clean and to get my life right. My aunt told me about the 3 day detox program at Johns Hopkins Bayview. As I spent time in detox, I realized that if I was going to turn my life around, I would need extra help. A 3 day detox program wouldn’t provide me with the support that I needed to make a total life transformation.

“I called my aunt and asked about rehabs in Baltimore. She told me about Helping Up Mission and I called and got all of the information. That day that I came to the Mission, I woke up in the morning and asked God for a sign. I’m a big Ravens fan so, as I got dressed that morning, I put on all of my Raven’s gear. When I arrived at the Mission, they told me that the players from the Ravens were coming for the annual coat giveaway. Joe Flacco, Torrey Smith and several other big name players were there. I felt like that was my confirmation. I said, “Okay. This is it. I’m running with it!”

“The first 45 days in the Spiritual Recovery Program were literally the best 45 days of my life. I took that time to get to know myself. I attended all of the meetings and classes that I could and took everything in and applied it. I also attended several of the “HUM U” life enrichment classes – healthy relationships, manhood, anger management, grief and loss as well as others.

“As I progressed through the program, It was so encouraging to hear success stories from the program graduates. From my perspective as a young black man, it was so encouraging to see program graduates that I could related to on the HUM staff. Watching them, I knew that I could clean myself up and get myself together.

“On the first day that I was eligible, I started working on earning my High School Diploma through HUM’s education program. I received my High School Diploma in September 2015.

“I joined HUM’s running team through Back On My Feet. It was so helpful to be able to interact with people outside of the program who genuinely cared about the program members. I started both participating in and volunteering for races in the community.

“The staff at HUM helped me to get my driver’s license and helped me to pay for it through money that was available through Maryland RecoveryNet. For the first time in my life, I’m officially a licensed driver!

“I became an intern in the kitchen. While I was in the kitchen, I met Pastor Reggie from Morgan State. He was volunteering in the kitchen. He encouraged me to start volunteering and working with kids. I did that for quite a while but eventually the volunteer opportunity was over.

“One of the HUM staff members let me know that there was a man from Acts4Youth coming to the Mission. He had volunteer opportunities available that could possibly lead to a job opportunity. I met with him and started volunteering for the summer program. At the end of the 4 week program, he told me he liked the work I was doing. Shortly after, I had an official job interview and began working for them in October. I mentor the kids. We teach them through team building activities. We help them learn to communicate and work well together. I want to reach kids in the whole city. God is not taught to kids enough and the city needs this message. The change in the kids that we are working with shows. We often get good reports from their teachers.

“I graduated from the Spiritual Recovery Program in November 2015. Things are looking good for me! I have my diploma, my driver’s license and a job that I love! I recently moved off of HUM’s campus in December. As for the future, I’m engaged to be married on July 3rd of this year.”

Watch Aaron’s interview at our 2016 Graduation Banquet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7XY9OguvbA

 

Drew Dedrick, age 43, was raised in Columbia, MD.  “I grew up in a good Catholic family,” says Drew.  “I did well in school.  I played football, baseball and painted scenery for the drama club and was an artist for the newspaper.”

“I had always been a normal guy. As I entered middle school I got glasses, braces and crazy hair due to my many cowlicks. I wasn’t cool anymore. I desperately wanted to fit in. I felt like good students were nerds so I started making an effort not to get straight A’s.

“After high school, I enrolled in UMBC and joined a fraternity.  I did nothing but drink my entire freshman year.  I felt like it was required to be part of the crowd and it helped me to feel accepted.  By the end of my freshman year, I had failed out of college.

“I started working at Toby’s Dinner Theatre as a morning dishwasher.  Within weeks I was promoted to working with props and stage managing.  From there I became the technical director and finally a sound designer.

“In 1999, I married my girlfriend — an actress I had met at the theatre. We had a good life together. She eventually left the theatre and got a job as a teacher.

“Our first son, Martin, was born in 2004 and our second, August, arrived in 2007.  After August was born, she wanted me to get a “real job.”  She didn’t think that my job at the theatre had the long-term security that a day job could provide.  But, I was comfortable at the theatre and knew that I was very good at what I did.

“After August was born, the disconnect between us grew.  She had matured and become a proper mother but I hadn’t made that adjustment with her.  She kept asking me to drink less.  I hesitantly agreed but never made any real changes.

“We reached a point of crisis in our marriage.  She gave me an ultimatum that I needed to quit drinking, quit smoking and get my health checked out.  I told her that was a lot to ask for and I didn’t know if I could do all of it.  I went to the doctor the very next week.  I tried to quit smoking without realizing how hard it would be.  I never was able to stop drinking.  After six months, right after Thanksgiving 2013, she kicked me out. At first I fought for her and our relationship but eventually realized that it was futile — she was not going to take me back. Not being able to be with my boys was devastating.

“I still had my job at Toby’s and I would sleep in my car and at friends’ houses.  It was freezing cold and so I drank to keep warm.  My wife told me I couldn’t drive the boys anymore.  Once that responsibility was gone, I drank whenever I wasn’t at work.  I drank all day long.  I got to the point where I would shake if I wasn’t drinking.  My doctor prescribed me anxiety medication.  Because I was taking it along with drinking, I started blacking out.  I started getting progressive warnings from my boss about showing up drunk to work.

“From May to October my life was just shame upon shame.  I was hallucinating.  I was very paranoid and stopped talking to people.  I thought I was going to die – I didn’t believe I had any chance to control my alcoholism.  I was only getting ½ hour of sleep every night and drinking didn’t even get me drunk anymore.

“I finally realized that I needed help.  My step-mother helped me look for programs and found Helping Up Mission.  She brought me to HUM and I was an emotional mess.  I had been isolated for so long.  Suddenly, I was in a community of guys all working on the same thing and it was like an enormous weight had been lifted.

“I surrounded myself with good people.  For the first time in my life, I started following the rules.  Anything the staff asked me to do, I did.  I got a sponsor, a home group, developed a great relationship with my treatment coordinator, fully used my therapist and started attending church.

“As I progressed in the program, I had to decide about going back to work right away or waiting.  I prayed on it and decided to accept a work therapy assignment in HUM’s treatment office.  I wanted to give back to the place that had saved my life!  I eventually accepted an internship in the Philanthropy Department.  My family wrote a letter lashing out at me for taking an internship instead of a full-time job.  They wanted me to re-enter the workforce and provide for my boys.

“I recently was offered the opportunity to interview for a position in HUM’s Philanthropy Department as the Marketing and Communications Coordinator.  As I read the job description, I was amazed – if I could have written it myself, this is the ideal job description I would have written.  A couple of weeks later, I was offered and accepted the position.  Working at Helping Up Mission is a calling.  It’s a place where I can help save lives.

“Because I am able to live at the Mission as a residential staff member, I am saving money and able to make financial amends to my ex-wife.  My family apologized to me for writing that letter and doubting me.  They now realize that I was doing the right thing all along, by surrendering to God’s will  and am now in a position to give back to my boys immediately.”

Watch Drew’s interview at our 2016 Graduation Banquet:

https://youtu.be/Z7XY9OguvbA?t=2m21s