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“I stopped hiding from God and started turning toward Him.”

Terri, age 58, was born in Montgomery County and then in and out of multiple foster homes. “I was in three foster homes. I was never in one place for too long,” she recalls. “I left my third foster home when I was 18 and lived in Mount Ranier, Maryland for a year before spending the next seven years in Oregon. I came back to Maryland and got a place of my own. I worked different jobs. I worked hard, played hard, and partied hard. I drank alcohol since I was 10. At 15, I started smoking marijuana which led to harder drugs. Using drugs was social to me. I enjoyed it.”
“15 years ago, my mom was dying, and I got deeper into drugs. My relationship fell apart. I lost my job due to a failing economy. A lot of things were happening at once. Instead of drinking at 5pm, I started drinking earlier in the day which turned into drinking all day, every day.”
“Eventually, I got a little clean time under my belt, was going to meetings and staying connected but I was working at Giant Foods and living in a recovery house where I was assistant manager. I was tired and working too much, so, I stopped going to meetings, and quit taking care of myself. After a while I was going through physical and emotional pain and there was a liquor store right there. Instead of telling people what I was going through and reaching out for help, I made the decision to take that one drink. My drinking snowballed and I drank more and more. My house manager finally called me out.”
“One day, I heard a friend of mine Tina speaking to her counselor about Helping Up Mission (HUM) being a spiritual program. I asked her what she meant, and she explained that it had to do with God. I have been hiding from Him due to my shame and guilt and I needed to turn back to HIM. I was crying for help!”
“The hardest part about coming to HUM was opening up about the scared little girl in me. I had so much shame, guilt, and a lack of trust. I did not open up right away, but when I did, I jumped in with two feet. I started to relax and want what was being offered. I found a sponsor and took advantage of the therapy that was being offered. My faith is getting a lot stronger every day. I stopped hiding from God and started turning toward Him.”
“Recovery is a process. It is slow healing, but I have tapped into the things that I have learned about myself. Where in the past I would not feel pain and stuff my feelings down, today I feel what I am feeling, understand what I am feeling, and share my feelings with people I trust. I am happier. I came in with a lot of guilt and shame, but today I am smiling! I am laughing! I am proud of myself today, because I have a relationship with the Lord, and I live with a family instead of in an institution.”
“I mean, I will never get used to getting up at six in the morning, but I am grateful to be here. It is not easy, but it is doable. And when you put in the work, before you know it, you are feeling better spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And that is important because HUM is a safety net. They give you the tools, give you hope, and give you excitement for what you can do. I am surrounded by beautiful people here.”
Today, Terri is the first security peacekeeper in our Women’s Spiritual Recovery Program, and as far as her future goes, “I do not try to look too far ahead, because all my life I have had instability. As I trust in the Lord, my faith grows stronger, people have my back, and I try to do the next right thing. I just want to stay at HUM because I am welcome to do so, and I am so grateful for that. I want to stay focused on my recovery and work on Terri. I have a healthy better life and that is all that I want right now. I trust what I am doing because I want this”
“I encourage people like me to give themselves a chance. Come in through HUM’s door and you will be all right. There are people here who care, there is help, and there is love. There is so much for you to do at HUM that you can have a better life. Give yourselves a chance to live instead of existing!”
“To the people that make everything possible at HUM. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are kind, caring, and amazing! I would love to meet all of you in person and thank you, because you have changed so many people’s lives – the ones that have come before, the ones that are here, and the ones that are coming. We NEED this! Thank you!”

“I was tired of not knowing what HUM was about”

Allen, age 53, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. “I grew up in East Baltimore, but at the age of 14, I was moved to one of the worst neighborhoods in West Baltimore and placed in foster care,” recalls Allen. “I understood what the “system” was trying to do. The move seemed great at the time. There were porch front homes. Kids had mothers and fathers. It was a healthier family setting. But, outside of those homes, the neighborhood had a “gang bang” type of mentality.”
“From age 12 to 16, I was just smoking marijuana. But, when I moved to East Baltimore, I started seeing guys shooting up heroin. The same guys were like ‘bosses’ of the neighborhood and you did not mess with them. I hung out with a gang of guys, and we made a pact. As long as we did not buy drugs to use, using was okay, because we equated addiction with guys that spent money on drugs. So, we took what we needed. Eventually, some guys figured out what we were doing. They said, ‘we know what you are doing. We think that you are a cool dude but keep taking from us and there will be consequences.’ I ended up forging friendships with a lot of them.”
“I began to navigate through my drug usage, through my addiction. Using was like a circuit, just repeating the cycle. Man, I was on that cycle until I was 46 years old! I always had a way out. I went through a lot of abuse as a child. I was ‘damaged goods.’ But I began to doubt my life. I love change and I started to wonder what it would take for me to change the way I was living. What would it take for me to find a way out of this wheel? I clearly said I need to find a way out!”
“The first time that I came to Helping Up Mission (HUM) in 2014, I got turned down at the door. One day, I decided that I was tired of not knowing what HUM was about. I entered the building and started looking around and ran into Kevin Healey, Director of Program Accountability. Kevin said, ‘I know you from somewhere!’ I told him that I had not been allowed into the program so many times that he recognized me from not letting me in. Without delay Kevin asked if I was ready. I did not intend to enter the program that day. But I felt that it was meant for me to be there.”
“I came in December 2014 and graduated Christmas Day 2015. I remember my first Christmas here. I was in Overnight Guest Services (OGS), and I had feelings about not having a home to go to for the holidays. But, this volunteer, a little girl, asked if I could use a. She was an angel and I still have it.”
“In 2016, I got into a relationship, and even though I was not ready to leave due to unfinished business, I left HUM. I had a job, a relationship, and a nice house with a peaceful front porch. Everything was so quiet. I felt like I was on probation, and I relapsed. I remember thinking of what might happen, what I would have to go through, and I decided to seek my recovery. I reentered HUM through the Johns Hopkins 9-1-1 program, but I did not surrender. I was trying to chase my old recovery.”
“One day, Pastor Gary Byers saw me and said,’ I knew that you would be back. Allen, you needed to be sold on the real joy of recovery.’ He nailed it! I surrendered, and today I love learning about myself. Pushing myself beyond what is dangerous or comfortable and being honest makes me free. Freedom today means not being prisoner to my old thinking, feelings, and emotions.”
“HUM has given me determination, better mental health, and better mental awareness. I earned certifications in computer fundamentals, Microsoft Word, and Excel. I have addressed my child support. I have also received my certification to become a Peer Recovery Support Specialist.”
“It has become obvious to me that there is a Higher Power. I have been in enough situations where it was not me, but Him who got me through it. When I first came back to HUM, I worked in housekeeping, but I felt like I wanted to do something more. I felt Him say ‘please be still. What I have for you will be for you.’ Shortly after I was asked to work with the Treatment Coordinator (TC) team. I get to help men in the program navigate and communicate with their TC’s. I had a lot of apprehension during my recovery, so I can help the guys coming in.”
“I have four kids and my relationship with them is wonderful. I came from a broken home, and it is important for me to help my kids break the chain of not having their fathers in the family. We are going to get through this together. “
“Thanks to the donors for their compassion. The guys around here are living, walking miracles. You are changing the world. I never thought that I could lead a happy life. At my age, when you come into recovery, you are masked up and uncomfortable. At HUM you can experience freedom and real Spiritual Recovery. Thank you!

Today Carla’s Room is Beautiful Again 

“I always had pretty walls and beautiful surroundings. Today my walls are beautiful again.” 

Carla, age 49, was born and raised in Cecil County, Maryland. “It was good being me as a little kid,” Carla recalls. “I did not like Barbie dolls and stuff like that. I was a tomboy, but my bedroom was really pretty. I had pictures of horses, puppy dogs, kitty cats, and arranged my closet in a rainbow. I was the oldest of three sisters and we were always together wherever we went. I was taught to protect my sisters. But when I was 8, I was sexually abused. I felt responsible for my sisters, and I thought that I was going to get in trouble. So, we did not tell anyone. I went into my room, and I remember ripping down all my pretty pictures. It became dark black and hard to understand. I had resentments and I did not understand why.” 

“I grew up as a rebellious little girl and when I was 12, I smoked marijuana. I told my family at the dinner table that I smoked ‘weed’ and what were they going to do about it? I was emotional, angry, and hurt. I did not know what to feel. I did not feel like I fit in, and as I grew older smoking ‘weed’ made me feel good. I started dabbling in other substances as I grew older. At age 18, I got pregnant before I graduated high school. I started drinking heavily and gained a lot of weight. I turned to drugs to lose the weight and when I was 24, I started using heroin. I quit drinking completely. The heroin made me feel okay, and it was controlling my weight.” 

“Heroin and incarceration eventually took me away from my family and my kids. When I was locked up, I was okay, but when I came home, I would continue to use drugs. I spent years back and forth like that. I overdosed on heroin 21 times and had to be revived with Narcan 21 times. Once again, I was in a real dark place.”  

One night, while waiting for drugs Carla was attacked by kids with baseball bats. “They beat me up really bad and I had to get rushed to a trauma center. The girl giving me my CAT scan recognized my name, but not my face. We went to high school together. She asked me if I wanted to get treatment and I said yes. I went to a treatment center, to a detox center, and back to a 28-day recovery program.” 

“When I was getting discharged from the 28-day program, I told the lady that I needed something more. I was homeless and destined to return to the methamphetamine lab that I was living in if I did not seek more treatment. I could not go to another month long, or even a six-month program. I needed something to transform my life and that is when she told me about Helping Up Mission (HUM).  

HUM puts together the spiritual, mental, and physical aspects of recovery. I never put those three things together. I enrolled, did my black-out period, and went back home to Cecil County to see my grandson. But when I got back home the same life pattern began and soon, I was isolating and not returning phone calls.” 

“Finally, Women’s Program graduate Cindy got a hold of me and asked me where I was. I told her that I was in Cecil County at my meth dealer’s house and that I wanted to come back. Please come get me! Cindy said, ‘I am on my way!’ When I came back, I had to go into another 28-day program which really helped me.  

“Most of the time my fear comes out in anger. So, if I am angry, it is because I am fearful, and I become protective. It leads me back to being a little girl and not knowing how to deal with that feeling. I do not want to be hurt again. Now, it is important for me to tell others how I feel. God has done a lot in my life, and He has surrounded me with people that love me and accept me. He loves me no matter what with His Grace and mercy. I call out to Him when I am troubled knowing the consequences could be death.” 

“I have hope now. I want to go to school for art. God did not give me this talent to just do nothing with it. I have a creative side and I like to express myself with color. I think creatively. Now I have a clear mind and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe I can do art therapy to help little kids through traumatic experiences.” 

“HUM provides real friendships, real relationships, and real love. I am in a safe and healthy environment where all my needs are being met. It is life-transforming not having to want for anything. Without the donors’ love and concern this would not be possible. My sponsor Kelly is my beacon for teaching me the way she learned recovery.” 

At the end of the day the most amazing thing in Carla’s journey brings us back to childhood. “I always had pretty walls and beautiful surroundings. Today my walls are beautiful again. They are filled with things that I drew. It is serenity.” 

Because of your generous contributions, Brian (age 41) has focused on his recovery and learned to ask questions. Brian was raised in Pasadena, MD and had a good childhood. “I came from a middle-class family. I never wanted for anything. My parents divorced before I was two and my stepfather became my dad, while my father bounced in and out. He was a holiday father, only visiting on Christmases and birthdays. I knew that I wasn’t the reason for his actions, so I don’t let it affect me. I grew up in a very strict environment. I did what I was told, when I was told. It wasn’t an ask why kind of household,” recalls Brian.

Drugs and alcohol were introduced to Brian’s life at age 12. “I began using psychedelic drugs like ecstasy and acid at an early age. But I didn’t realize that I had a problem until my thirties. In my twenties, I was a Union sheet metal worker. I could party, go to work, and go to school while using drugs. I never ‘had a problem’ until I met opiates. Once I did everything spiraled downhill.”

“When I was in my 20’s and early 30’s I was shy to an extent. I would stay in the house and only come out when needed. When I met opiates that changed. I ventured out of the house. I wanted to talk. I started hanging out on the streets, and once I did that, I became a part of the street life.”

Eventually jobs became harder to hold on to. One day Brian got hurt on a job and ended up going to pain management. “I figured out how easy it was to obtain large amounts of opiates. I went from two cars, a house and motorcycles to losing everything. Soon I was living in tents and abandoned homes. And by the grace of something I’m still here.”

Brian attended and completed a six-month program on his own free will. “After months of sobriety, I was walking down 25th and Maryland Avenue and the crack dealer said ‘testers’. At first, I kept walking. But then I thought ok. I could do this.” Shortly thereafter Brian was once again, living on the streets panhandling in West Baltimore.

Eventually an ‘Old Friend’ found Brian and told him that he was going to Helping Up Mission (HUM). Brian responded, “Really? You’re going to that place on Baltimore Street? He said, “just come with me man”, at first, I said, “no”. Yet, when I pulled up out front of HUM, it wasn’t anything like what I had in mind. And it was January and it was cold.”

“At HUM I had a question for everything. When I was a child we only went to church on Christmas and Easter. I never was religious. But the Spiritual Life staff has been open to my goofy questions. My beliefs have been opened. I want to learn more about religion, but I want to learn about all aspects of it – the good and the bad.

For the most part, Brian acknowledges that his work therapy assignments have had right timing. “I chose to come here, to fully work and focus on myself. I didn’t come here to get my kids back, for a good girlfriend, or a good job. At first, I cleaned toilets, and then I was a peacekeeper at the 23 desk. The 23 desk is a focal point of the building dealing with 400 different personalities (as they check in and out). It taught me patience. Finally, I started working in the Treatment office, where I ask a lot of questions and talk a lot with the men. I get to help people daily.”

On relationships, Brian has reached out to his father. He is also rebuilding the relationship with his mother. “Recently, I got a phone call from her, stopped by the house and when I was getting ready to leave, she asked if I would come by the next day. But family doesn’t have to be blood. My daughter’s mother has been there for me this whole year. We can relate. The other day I texted my daughter that I only had two weeks until graduation and she said, “I know. I am proud of you.” And that brought me to tears. So, through me being selfish in my recovery, I have earned back respect and relationships. I’m not perfect, but I am living reasonably happy. Now, I plan on doing the next right thing.”

“After graduation I’m going back to work and possibly taking the steps to become a part time Peer Recovery Specialist. I plan on getting my alumni badge and coming back here, to keep asking questions. I have a newly discovered passion for helping people. Now, I love talking to people.”

“To the donors, you ladies and gentlemen are truly a blessing, because of your blessings HUM gives so much opportunity and Hope.”

Thanks to your committed support, Graham (age 49) is rebuilding the relationships that eluded him during childhood.  Graham was born in Winchester, Virginia to good, hardworking parents and has a younger sister. But stability was not a part of his upbringing. “We moved twenty times by the end of high school. At a young age, I never felt part of anything and found it difficult making lasting friends,” recalls Graham.

By age 11, Graham started smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol.  “At first, using was purely ‘social lubrication’ but, I quickly realized that I was a full-blown alcoholic because my father was one as far back as I can remember. Therefore, Alcoholics Anonymous had always been in my life. But in high school, drinking was more like a badge of honor. I was the boy that your parents didn’t want you to hang out with. A big issue was my lack of discipline at home – a big resentment that I am working on today. During school, the vagabond lifestyle appealed to me, fueled by constant moving during childhood, I packed my things and followed the Grateful Dead group from the age of 14 until 17. I was a dirty hippy drug addict, living in school buses.  I ended up being asked to leave school my senior year for my absences.

At age 19, Graham was smoking crack cocaine and burglarizing houses. “I got arrested and the FBI got involved since we were moving stolen property from state to state. I served 3 years and left prison the same guy that entered. I was a “good boy”, doing what I was supposed to do. It was only because of a court order that I went to my first treatment center and got my first clean time. For my 30th birthday I rewarded myself and got high.”

In spite of his addictions, Graham was seemingly living the American Dream, he had a good job, a house, and a wife (who was sober, and she thought that he was…). His using continued and the marriage ultimately failed. They had a son, but divorced when he was two, and everything has been downhill since.

After the divorce Graham lived through “a series of messes, including homelessness, treatment centers, lockups, and moving to get away.” A trait that he learned from his childhood.

In 2015, Graham was living homeless in Rochester, New York. “My parents came and got me, and I returned home. Once again, I was living without discipline, drinking and going stir-crazy. That is when my sister intervened. She did some research and discovered Helping Up Mission. She dropped me off out front and I stood across the street smoking cigarettes. My vagabond ways almost took me out of Baltimore, but I walked through HUM’s doors – for the first time.”

Graham graduated from our Spiritual Recovery Program and was hired in the Maintenance Department. Two years later he relapsed and was let go. “Due to the stress of my prior relationship difficulties, I tried too hard to appease others. Over time, I stopped going to meetings and taking care of myself.”

In June of 2019, he came back to HUM. For the first time in Graham’s life, he asked for help. When asked what he is doing differently this time, Graham responded,” I no longer have the lurking notion of reservation. I now feel that I am finally a part of something. I have a sponsor and a home group. I am rebuilding relationships. I go out with my sister and we talk for hours about how we are more alike than different. I have reached out to my parents to tell them that I love them. My son is finally reaching out to me, which is scary, but with the help of my therapist I’m continuing to rebuild relationships.”

“My Spirituality and Faith are also different this time. I’ve always been a believer, but I had a hard time searching for answers. The Mission, notably Mike Rallo (Spiritual Life Director), and Pastor Gary Byers (Former Deputy Director) changed that for me through the way that they teach. I read the Bible every day. I go to HUM’s library and read books on Christianity. And with my sponsor’s help, I got down on my knees and prayed for the first time in my life.”

“When I came back to HUM, Kevin Healey (Assistant Director of Programs) told me to ‘take a year, relax and get to know myself.’ So that is what I am doing. After I graduate, I will attend CCBC to study psychology.

Today, I can finally say that I am reasonably happy. Everything that I need the HUM provides. I walked in here with nothing besides the clothes on my back and I have been taken care of. Thank you to the donors and the staff, because of you I protect and value Helping Up Mission.”

To read more of Graham’s story, visit helpingupmission.org/stories/grahamp

 

Because of your generosity, Arthur Friday (age 37), has another chance to recover from addiction! Arthur was born in Baltimore, the oldest son of ten kids. Arthur’s life changed at age 9 when his father passed away, leaving the family reeling from the sudden loss. His mother, struggling with active addiction, was left with the daunting task of raising ten kids as a single parent.  “We were hungry, not going to school, down and dirty. My oldest sister “dumpster dove” to feed us.  Shortly thereafter, our conditions were reported to Social Services and all ten of us were placed in various stages of foster homes, group homes, and institutions,” recalls Arthur.

The oldest children, including Arthur, were placed in the KIVA House, a group home for 11 to 17 year olds in Arnold, MD. Arthur attended Severna Park High School, where he was a three-sport athlete playing football, basketball, and track. It was during this time that Arthur began drinking alcohol and smoking marijuana to have fun. Arthur admits, “Alcohol was my “trigger,” drinking was my gateway to other drugs.” His addiction progressed from there. Having graduated high school and attending Montgomery College to play football, “having fun” changed to owing people money for the cocaine he started using.

At age 23, Arthur returned to Baltimore and started living with his mother, then clean from her own addiction (she now has 18 years of sobriety). “My unmanageability was growing. I started lacing marijuana with cocaine. I wanted more and more and the cravings grew. I also started smoking crack cocaine. Within 30 days, I lost everything – my job, respect, money, and my responsibilities.”

“My mother’s boyfriend had been a HUM client and told me that HUM ‘would be a great place for help.’ In 2009, I came to HUM for the first time, but I stayed just 45 days.”

“I came back to HUM in 2011, this time as a member of the Johns Hopkins 9-1-1 program. I graduated from the program, but I was not done using drugs…I relapsed. In 2017, I spent nine months at the Mission. But I was selfish and moved in with my girlfriend. I eventually ended up at the Salvation Army, where I graduated from their six-month program. They offered me 3 different jobs, but I turned them all down. The same scenario unfolded, and I got selfish and relapsed again. Finally, six months ago I walked through the familiar doors of Helping Up Mission, hopefully for the last time.”

“The Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP) leaders gave me another chance. The staff at HUM have tremendous faith and will not give up on a person. They recognize addiction as a lifelong disease, and all that you have to do is apply the tools that they freely give you. The  program has provided me with mental health counselors who help me open up about the real issues that got me here.”

“My Treatment Coordinator Steven Gallop, a HUM graduate and staff member has helped guide my recovery. I’ve spent countless hours in the HUM gym, getting healthy again. Donors have provided all of the clothing and personal care products that I need. When it comes down to it, living at HUM means having all of your physical needs met so that you can pursue your spiritual needs.”

Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.

“My favorite quote from the bible is from Psalms 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Now when I have a choice, I choose God.”

“The SRP has provided me with the life skills necessary to look forward to graduation. I want to use these skills in the field of recovery by becoming a Peer Recovery Specialist. I plan on taking the classes that our Workforce Development Program provides in order to help the men who like me, are struggling with this lifelong disease.”

Thanks to YOU and countless other donors and volunteers, Arthur and 540 other men and women have the chance each day to break the cycle of addiction and homelessness.  You are saving and transforming lives through your compassion and generosity!

Frank, 39, was born and raised in the Towson area of Baltimore, Maryland. He grew up in a loving Catholic family that provided him with everything that he needed. A talented soccer player, Frank eventually joined the Maryland Olympic Team. “I thought that I had everything,” he says.

At the age of ten, Frank was offered his first drink. An older family friend brought him a six-pack to help celebrate New Year’s Eve. “She was like an older sister to me, and I brought the beers up to my room and drank them alone. I immediately liked the feeling,” he remembers. This early introduction to alcohol led him to begin drinking regularly, and he even started drinking at school. Frank would sneak a couple of beers during his middle school dances, and noticed that the beers no longer affected him. His school drinking progressed. During his freshman year at Calvert Hall, Frank brought a water bottle filled with alcohol to a dance, which led to suspension. It was his first time getting in trouble for drinking.

To Frank, drinking was a way to fit in at first. ”I really enjoyed the feeling that alcohol gave me. It was my solution for social anxiety and any pain that I was going through.” As much as Frank believed that alcohol helped him socially, it had the opposite effect in reality. Soon he was drinking by himself in his room.

Having developed from such a young age, Frank’s addiction began to interfere with his life. Frank received his first DUI before beginning his freshman year at Essex Community College. He received his second DUI one week later, and a third before the end of the year. His drinking was starting to affect his ability to play soccer, which was stressful for him.

In 1998, Frank’s family recognized his continuously growing problem, and he attended his first recovery program. Soon he met a girl who was also in recovery, at the recovery house he managed in Frederick, MD. The relationship progressed quickly, and the newly sober couple got married shortly after she got pregnant. “I was young and started drinking again. I couldn’t stay stopped. My life was unmanageable. We had a second child and the marriage soon crumbled into an unhealthy relationship,” Frank remembers. Due to his drinking, Frank lost his job in the Steamfitters Union and moved back to Baltimore.

In 2017, Frank was sick and tired of being sick and tired. “I tried every way to get my life back on track—my behaviors, jobs, and relationships. I knew that my friend from Calvert Hall, Matthew Joseph, was working at Helping Up as HUM Treatment Coordinator, and I talked to him about coming in. Three times I walked through the door. The first time, I wasn’t ready; the second time, I needed detox; and finally on the third time they let me in. It was hard coming through the doors. I wasn’t proud to be a HUM guy.”

Today Frank has a very different perspective. “I can help somebody else by showing them what I’m doing. My life is in a better place because I’m here.” Frank is now an intern in the Workforce Development Program. “If it wasn’t for being an intern and having the guidance of Brett Hartnett, Education & Workforce Development Administrator, and Matt Brown, Education and Workforce Development Manager, I would have left HUM. They gave me purpose,” Frank says.

In December, 2018, Frank graduated our one-year Spiritual Recovery Program and now accepts life on life’s terms. “HUM has transformed my life and changed who I am today. I’m a different person, and I enjoy helping the men through career development, applying for jobs, and taking assessment tests. I like showing them that they can take the worst possible things in their lives and turn them into assets.” Frank started taking Peer Recovery Coach classes and also graduated from the Community College of Baltimore County with his Associate’s Degree. Soon he will attend The University of Baltimore to pursue a degree in Business Management. He plans on staying active in the substance abuse recovery field.

”I’ve become mentally, physically, and spiritually better at HUM, and being here has given me the time to recover. I grew up Catholic, and the presence of God here at HUM is everywhere. God is back in my life, I can feel Him. Here, God works through so many people and I thank Him for bringing tears to my eyes. Tears of Joy.”

Thanks to You Frank has Tears of Joy.

“I like showing people that they can take the worst possible things in their lives and turn them into assets.”

When Isaac “Ike” lost his father at age four, he was sent to live with his aunt in Dundalk. He lived an outdoor “Huckleberry Finn” life, learning how to swim and even becoming a boy scout. Unfortunately, because his uncle was abusive, Ike’s home life was unstable and he frequently ran away.

Change came when a basketball was placed in Ike’s hands. Instead of running away he would run to the basketball court, and his skills rapidly accelerated. People began to notice how well he played, and opportunities began to present themselves. Anything that Ike needed; shoes, clothing, and basketball camp were provided for him. He helped lead his team to three straight championships. Colleges took notice and offered 17 scholarships before he decided to attend St. Bonaventure in New York. But, free opportunities sometimes come with the cost of exploitation, and Ike was vulnerable.

Before his time in college Ike had never been high, but during Easter break he was introduced to heroin, which was the beginning of the end. Ike recalls, “It gave me an escape, and I had a lot of scars. I took to it like I took to basketball. Soon I couldn’t get away from it.” That summer he stayed home getting high, and when he went back to school he realized that he had a habit. At half-time in the middle of a basketball game, he first felt the effects of withdrawal, quit the team and came home to the one thing he couldn’t escape anymore – Heroin.

Life deteriorated. When Ike returned home, his opportunities gone, he became classified as a career criminal and would spend most of the next 30 years in prison.

When he left prison in 2007, Ike realized that “the things that many people take for granted I never experienced.”

Shortly after his release Ike got married, but everyone, including his wife’s son, thought that it was a mistake. “At first I was angry, but during the first year of my marriage, I understood completely. If I had not used drugs drugs during my marriage, we would have made it. We both loved the Lord. But I started using and that ended it. I still speak to her everyday. We are in a really good place,” he admits.

Eventually Ike wound up at Mercy Hospital for detox. “Right after I got out of Mercy this guy said have you ever heard of the Salvation Army? He gave me the address and the phone number. I truly believe that guy was an angel because I had no other options.”

A few years later Ike needed a change from the Salvation Army and turned to his sister for guidance. “My sister donated money to HUM. I called and spoke with a man named Kevin, and he said “we’ll take care of you.” I thought that these were just words but when I came in I felt that this was a totally different beast,” Ike recalls.

When he arrived Ike had very low goals. “I wasn’t aspiring to do anything. Never really had a good job. I knew inside that I was better but I didn’t have the will.” “My sobriety hinged day to day. I have a solid foundation here. I knew it was doable.”

“My foundation starts with God. When I went to Pastor Gary’s class I thought, what is this all about. But when I got to Alpha (2nd stage of our year-long Spiritual Recovery Program) everything fell into place. Everything he said made sense. The Bible made more sense to me which made it easier to apply to my everyday life. Soon Mr. Avolio and my counselors gave me the confidence to do it. (finish the program)”

People started saying, “Ike, you would be a really good peer advocate. Matt Brown, the Education and Workforce Development Manager, went the extra yard for me, he made sure that I got with the right people. Matt helped me with my resume. Brett helped me with everything that I needed on the computer. Soon, I started the classes and was number one in the class. 4 interviews the first week, 3 job offers in 2 weeks. And I chose Johns Hopkins, Thanks Matt and Brett. As a Peer Advocate, my job is to help you help yourself. I will advocate for you. I’ve been there and I know exactly what you are going through. You can do it, I did it.”

“When I was younger I thought I was going to be a basketball player, but when life took its toll, I didn’t care. Life is not easy, but life is a truly precious thing, I have had some dark days, but I’m making up for it now – waking up seeing the sunrise and going to bed knowing I did the best that I can do.” Ike believes.

Finally Ike says, “It’s hard to put into words how grateful I am to the staff, this place gave my life purpose, and I would not have been able to do it without them. HUM made a difference in my life.”

Eric is 40 years old and from West Baltimore, but moved to Carol County as a child. He explains that his parents were good people and he wanted to be like them. Eric was a good student, and his goal was to become a police officer after college. He recalls, “I wanted to be a detective. I always wanted to protect everything around me and police did that.”

Eric started using at the age of 14 when he saw the cool kids using, and he wanted to be like them. Not long after, he began getting drugs from the city for his friends in the county. Despite his drug use, he managed to continue through school with good grades. He had a teacher who noticed something was going on and confronted him. Eric remembers, “She told me she would help me in any way.”

Shortly after graduation, he was charged with robbery and assault. Although the charges were eventually dropped, Eric was no longer able to attend college to become a police officer. Before he could start college again, Eric got into a street fight and ended up in jail for robbery.

Eric moved to New York to be with the mother of his child and began a pattern of drinking and bad decision making. When he returned to Baltimore, his mother died, and Eric went on a six-month drug run. He explains, “Literally, I was trying to die.” He tried to get clean but instead became addicted to heroin. He and his girlfriend had their children taken from them because of the drugs.

He went through several cycles of getting clean and then messing up. In 2015, he got clean again and was clean until he was in an accident. The doctor prescribed pain medicine and Eric refused to take it at first. Eventually, he was in so much pain that he started taking the pills. After about a week of taking the pills, he decided to come to HUM. Eric said, “I knew I was getting ready to go on a run.” He could tell he was losing control and knew he needed help.

When he came to HUM, Eric “saw people making it. I saw people making themselves make it. I saw there was a whole lot going on in one building.” Even though he didn’t need the majority of what was offered at HUM, he was impressed. He had a place to live and the ability to leave, but Eric decided to stick it out to see what would happen and recently graduated.

Eric shares that he is sure that, “you cannot skip the struggle. That is where the personality is built. That is where the character is built. Anybody, anywhere that skips any struggle when they fall on their face, they are lucky if they get up again. People are dying from that.”

Eric is now the overdose outreach advocate at a nationally known hospital. He goes out into the places of need to help those struggling with addiction and tries to share hope with them. “I care about people seeing who they can be,” Eric explains. He likes providing options. “When I was in the midst of everything, there were no options. You wake up every day, and your intent has to be get money or be prepared to die. I have choices nowadays.”

He believes there is something at HUM that is special. There is no reason this many men who would never even speak to each other in the street can get along at the mission.

Eric feels like he is living right now to help others out. “I feel like my existence right now on this earth is if I am not making it better, don’t touch it.” He is thankful that he got to meet every single person that he met at HUM. When asked about his plans, Eric explains, “I want to try to share the hope that I learned. To me it is real.”

Listen to Eric tell his story on our podcast.

John, 50 years old, was born at Baltimore Memorial Hospital as one of six kids. He graduated from Arundel Senior High where he played baseball and ran track. He was especially close to his mom growing up but admits, “I was a curious kid, so I always stayed in some kind of trouble. She always had her hands on me.” His father was around but was not very involved in his life.

At “the age of 16 or 17 years old, I basically went on my own path” and began hanging out and smoking marijuana. After John graduated, he worked at a racquetball club and watched people playing the sport. “I started to fall in love with the game. I used to sneak on the back courts on my days off.” The club pro taught him a few strokes and soon John was beating everyone around. He got sponsored and became a semi-pro racquetball player. “The thing that killed me with that is I would go to tournaments with nobody watching me, nobody behind me. I felt kind of lonely at tournaments and got introduced to cocaine.”

He met his first wife in the racquetball club, but after she became pregnant, she left him because of his drug use. She moved to Montana and John followed her. He remembers, “My dad didn’t have nothing to do with me when I was a kid, and I wasn’t going to do that to my child.” He started going to 12 step programs, but couldn’t relate because everyone in those groups was an alcoholic. “They didn’t want to hear my story, and I couldn’t tell my story.” John and his wife got divorced and then remarried. When they were apart for a year or two, he went on using sprees. They divorced again and, after seventeen years in Montana, John moved back to Maryland and went back to his cocaine and his life as a “go fast boy.”

John came to HUM for the first time in 2012 because he was “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” He was dating a girl whose brother was at HUM. He stayed for several months but got in trouble while away for the weekend and couldn’t make it back to HUM. “It ate at me because I was doing the right thing and let the wrong thing happen. I eventually knew that I was coming back here.”

John stayed clean for almost three years. But, he started dwelling on all of the problems going on. His mother was battling cancer, and his brother passed away. He thought, “I didn’t come home for this.” He missed his son, but John says that his past using “was shaming me from keeping in touch with him.” After his mom had lost her battle with cancer, John says “I fell right back in the boat I always fell back in.”

His girlfriend wanted him to get help and called around. Eventually, John told her to bring him to HUM. “In my own mind, I always knew I was going to come back.”

John ran track in high school, the 440-yard dash and some long distances. When he was at HUM in 2012, he joined Back on My Feet and ran with them as part of his recovery. Upon returning to HUM, joining a running team was a priority for him. “I went right to my counselor and told him I need to get back on the team.” He explains running “is therapy to me. It puts me at ease. It lets me think, it lets me really think about what’s going on in my life.”

John explains that he isn’t normally one to socialize, but being part of the Back on My Feet team has helped him to relax a little. “When I first joined the team…I wasn’t really a talker and everybody on the team talks. Once I settled in and realized it was okay to talk, they aren’t trying to dig into your business; they are just trying to help you. Once I got that in my mind, I was good with it.” Now, John says his teammates think, “Man he doesn’t shut up.”

The time on the running team encourages John and helps him to help others. “I find myself around the Helping Up Mission talking to guys…trying to show them certain things to do, not to sit up in corners hovered up. I even encouraged some guys to get on the team and just try something different.”

John is currently training to run the marathon in the Baltimore Running Festival in October. He recently finished in the top thirty-five runners in a ten miler with a time of 78 minutes.

In addition to the support he has found in a running group, John also goes to an NA 12 step program. “For me, I am dead in the water without it. You can’t do this alone; it’s just impossible.”

John is proof that good people can make bad choices, and while he may have to live with the consequences of those choices, there is hope. Once he graduates from Helping Up Mission, John plans to stay connected with his support community of HUM, as well as his NA group and will keep running as alumni of Back on My Feet.

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