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Warren G., age 52, was born in Baltimore City,
Maryland. “My early childhood was loving and
confusing,” recalls Warren. “I was born out of
wedlock and hidden from my father’s family for
two years. The only person who knew about
me was my half-sister. When my father finally
brought me out to my family, my stepmother
considered me a “blessing” because she could
not produce a son for him. At an early age,
I learned that blood was NOT thicker than
water; love is thicker than blood. I was like
Moses, and my nickname was MOE. I was
raised away from my family and then returned
to their love.“
“My dad was a jazz musician. He was a
functional addict and became the first AfricanAmerican car salesman at a local dealership. He
could make money but could not hold onto it.
I would go for weeks at a time, not seeing my
dad. I would spend time with my great aunt
Eiddie, my dad’s mother’s sister, who was like
a grandmother to me, taught me the Lord’s
prayer, and took me to church. She was loving
and spiritual.”
“I did well in school, getting A’s and B’s while
playing sports. My dad packed us up to get
out of Baltimore, and we moved to Sykesville,
MD. I was popular and never wanted for
anything. My dad would have good women
in his life who I did not become attached to
because they never lasted. His relationships
in life caused me not to get attached to
others as a defense mechanism and go in
my own direction.”
“I started smoking marijuana at the age
of eight. I would smoke regularly during
6th through 8th grade. There were no
consequences. I became an outspoken
leader who could manipulate and receive
the attention I did not get at home. During
my sophomore year of high school, I wore
my dad’s jacket to school, and in one of the
pockets, I found a bag of cocaine. Despite my
burgeoning drug habit, I received a scholarship
to play football at Juniata College. I decided to
attend college even though my dad told me I
would not succeed. He was right. I failed out,
got my high school girlfriend pregnant, and
had a daughter.”
“At the age of 35, I got married to another
person experiencing addiction, and we had
two sons. Things got so bad that I knew we

needed to go to rehab. I sent her first,
knowing what would happen if she was
left alone while I got help. She lasted
fifteen days in rehab. We were in full-blown
addiction and living in a hotel on Fayette
Street, Baltimore. One day, I went to the
lobby to pick up our two boys, ages 7 and
9, and she overdosed and died by the time
we got back. I could not open the door
to the room, but when maintenance got
us in, I was losing my mind. A nice lady
notices my demeanor and offers to watch
my sons. How do you explain death to a
7-year-old? I simply said that we would see
Mom again.”
“I got clean from narcotics for eight
months, but in January 2022, I was driving
down Northern Parkway and decided
to snort some fentanyl. Immediately, I
realized that I had done too much. I pulled
over as soon as I could and woke up in an
ambulance. I was dead for eight minutes.
The paramedics hit me three times with
Narcan. My girlfriend told me that I
needed to go to rehab. I lost my car and
my place and had no job. God had finally
narrowed my path, so I called Helping Up
Mission (HUM) and spoke with George
Enriquez, HUM’s program coordinator
of intake, and he told me to show up on
Monday.”
“The rest is history. Today, I am working
on the 12-steps of Narcotics Anonymous
(NA) and on my 8th step. I am working
on changing my behavior. I have learned
that my life transformation will evolve
until the day that I die. I spent 44 years
in active addiction, and change has
happened gradually in the eleven months
since I walked through HUM’s doors. HUM
has changed my life. My work therapy
assignment is Treatment Coordinator –
Intern. I facilitate spiritual recovery classes
and NA and Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings, which help me focus on my
recovery. I try to do the little things and
the right things when nobody is looking. I
finally returned to school at the University
of Baltimore and changed my degree from
pre-law to drug counseling. Soon, I will
take the test to become a Certified Peer
Recovery Specialist. I am surrendering the
outcome of my new life to God’s plan.”
“To all the people that make HUM
possible, THANK YOU for doing the right
thing when nobody else is looking!”

Sarah, age 40, was born in North Philadelphia,
PA, and raised in Prince Georges County, MD.
“My parents were married in North Carolina
in 1963,” recalled Sarah. “In 1964, my mother
was thrown from her vehicle and became a
paraplegic. I am the youngest of five children,
and my oldest sibling was born with Cerebral
Palsy. At a young age, I became the personal
care assistant to my mother and sister, which
pulled me out of social assimilation.”
“Our family moved to the North Kensington
section of Philadelphia, where I was born
into deprivation. We had no hot water. My
mother, a functioning alcoholic (her mother
was a North Carolina “Bootlegger”), had
a nervous breakdown when she told her
psychiatrist that she would kill all of us and
herself. The psychiatrist told her not to rely on
her husband. My parents separated, and my
mom took us back to Maryland. I was doing
well in school, and as a teenager, my mother
even asked me to file for her divorce. Despite
all the turmoil, all her children went to college
and played piano. I attended Georgetown
University and received a master’s degree from
Virginia Tech.“
“In my late twenties, I did not like how my
mother drank. Her body was taken away
from her at a young age, and that is how she
managed to get through life. I still did not
drink. I got married at 24 and had my first
child at 26. We lived in Northern Virginia wine
country, and I desperately wanted to have a
family that my mother could not have. My
husband’s family was resentful of our interracial
relationship, but I put him through school and
purchased our house.”
“I began to drink with the encouragement
from my husband. He wanted me to ‘loosen
up’. We drank every night and had a rule that
‘shots’ would be done if you came into our
house. After ten years of marriage, he put me
out of my house. I came home one day, and
my children were not there.”
“I got an apartment, but could not maintain
it. I fell into hopelessness, but my ex-husband
moved on. In a momentary lapse of reason,
I got into a confrontation with his now exgirlfriend
and got arrested. I had been an
executive investment banker at Freddie Mac
and a vice president at Wells Fargo, and now I
had a criminal record and was homeless.”

“I spent my entire 401k on alcohol. All my life, I worked so hard to get what I wanted. I was always the one who got ahead. I went from a house to an apartment, a car, and a shelter. While attending Avenues Recovery Center on the Eastern Shore in Cambridge, MD, one day, I noticed a list including Helping Up Mission (HUM). I asked the counselor what HUM was, and they said, ‘I don’t know. It’s a men’s shelter. I immediately went to YouTube, found HUM’s channel, and found a video of Center for Women & Children Director Pamela Wilkerson doing a tour of the new facility. I decided to ‘Google Map’ the address and noticed the gigantic red heart on the next-door Ronald McDonald House roof. I immediately knew HUM was the place for me.”
“I spoke with Meaghan Yoho, Operations Manager. She warned me about the 60-day phone restrictions, and I told her that I was good with that. The next day, at 5 am, it was dark outside. The driver who dropped me off decided to check the building to see if we were at the right place, and we were!”
“I have learned that in order to stay sober, I have to face the things that I used to meet with the crutch of alcohol. I realized that I have to let things go, including all of the dread that led me to this point in my life. And I am being rewarded with much peace. I joined the Women’s Center Choir, ‘Voices of Praise’, and have been with Nikki Jones, Outreach Coordinator, and Choir Leader, since day one.”
“I am getting ready to start an internship with James Hill, HUM’s Director of Client Services. I look forward to helping other underserved clients get the help they need. Since I have been here, I have taken the LSAT test (in Workforce Development) and received a score that will allow me to pursue a law degree at the University of Baltimore. I have also taken and passed the National and State Real Estate exam. When it comes time to graduate from the Spiritual Recovery Program and get a job, Pam told me I would get her recommendation!“
“To the donors, I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you for the opportunity to have a life again. I was living out of a trunk in a life-or-death situation. The ability to choose life is such a wonderful blessing. Helping Up Mission takes the love and support of strangers, whom I now consider friends that loved on me until I could love myself. Thank you to the wonderful HUM staff and leadership for giving me the family I needed. And to my daughters, I speak to weekly – I Love You!”

Robert, age 49, was born in Washington, DC,
and raised in Forestville, MD. “My mom and
dad got divorced when I was two years old,”
recalls “Bobby.” “My mother remarried quickly,
and my new stepfather was an alcoholic. They
had no money, so I went to my dad for help
when I needed things. I spent every other
weekend with my religious dad, and he took
us to the Catholic church, which opened the
doors for Jesus in my life.”
“Elementary school went well, but I started
to goof off by middle school. My stepfather
would come home drunk from work, bust
things up, and yell at my mother. I could see
the worry on my mom’s face. Luckily, he never
took things out on us kids. At an early age,
I knew what the disease of addiction looked
like. At age 12, I moved into my father’s house
with my older brother. I did not know anybody
at my new school, and in 6th grade, I started
making people laugh to “fit in.”
“I tried smoking marijuana with my brother at
11 but hated it. By age 15, I enjoyed smoking
‘pot’ and drinking alcohol. I developed a love
for partying and meeting girls. Looking back,
all that I ever wanted to do was be liked.
Maybe it resulted from my father showing
more affection to my older brother. Whatever
the reason, I dropped out of high school, got a
job, and continued my desire to party.”
“My whole life became one big ‘frat party’
centered around alcohol and girls, and that is
what I did for the next ten years. In my early
30s, I realized I was doing too much cocaine,
but I couldn’t stop. I maintained my habit by
spending three to four hundred dollars every
weekend on ‘coke.’ I got married, and that
seemed to slow things down for a bit. We had
a daughter, and life was good for a year and a
half. That is when I realized my wife was not
the girl for me. After two years, we split up,
and our relationship was exactly like my mom’s
and stepfather’s!”
“By 35, I was back to my old ways. I met an
old girlfriend – ‘the love of my life’, moved
in, and bought a house. From 36 until 40,
I enjoyed the best years of my life. I had a
well-paying job and a calm and peaceful
relationship with my love. At 40, I had become
a ‘weekend warrior.’ I worked hard and played
hard. I began using Percocet to get high,
which correlated with casinos opening in
Maryland. I would spend every day gambling
at Maryland Live, and one day I won $32,600!

I burned through so much money buying
Percocet that my habit became an opioid
addiction. Having blown through all my
casino winnings, I turned to the cheaper
alternative heroin.”
“My love had enough. I started stealing
from retail stores and even my family to
pay for my habit. I eventually got arrested
for theft, but that did not deter me from
stealing. I was 47 years old, homeless, a
petty thief, and in and out of rehab. One
day I was in a halfway house after relapsing
and overheard some guys talking about
Helping Up Mission (HUM), “That’s where
you get your teeth fixed!” They said it was
a one-year program, and I immediately
knew that is what I needed to recover.”
“When I walked through HUM’s doors, I
instantly knew it was the place for me. The
campus was beautiful. As the days passed,
I realized how special this place was in
addressing mental, spiritual, and physical
needs. I went to the recovery classes
and fell in love with Mike Rallo, Director
of Spiritual Life, and Vic King’s (former
Assistant Director of Spiritual Life) unique
way of hammering lessons at you. All the
staff wants to help you.”
“I did not want to return to my job in
construction, so I transferred to the IT
department, taking classes with Byte Back
Baltimore. I learned computer skills that
I never had access to. After a year in IT,
I realized that was not my job choice.
Laura Scott, a former HUM counselor,
told me they were hiring a Spiritual Life
Coordinator. I applied, and Mike and Vic
hired me to work for HUM. Ninety percent
of my job is working with clients all day,
every day. I enjoy taking the men on
retreats and outings, but the thing I like the
best is talking to the ‘Seeds’ – men in their
first 45 days in the program. I listen to their
stories and get to witness their hearts.”
“HUM has given me sobriety, stronger
faith, a lot of grace, peace, serenity, and
a new career. I have created a new life
for myself and my kids, who are doing
fantastic. After all that I have put them
through, we have a great relationship and
talk all the time. I plan to ‘stick and stay’
at HUM, and we will see what the future
brings. “
“To the donors, not one cent of your gifts
is wasted. Every penny matters and is a true
blessing. You oil this machine called HUM
that blesses the clients, their families, and
the city of Baltimore every day. I hope to
see you all someday. Thank you!”

Josh, age 38, was born and raised in
the Westchester, Pennsylvania suburb of
Philadelphia. “My family was not the best,
but not the worst,” Josh reflected. “As a child,
I never wanted anything. As an only child, I
often experienced loneliness, sadness, and
selfishness. Looking back on my childhood,
I realize that these were characteristics of
an addict. Seventh grade was rough, kids
started picking on my fashion. At the time, my
mother was on drugs and my stepfather was
a functioning alcoholic. We could not afford
nice clothes. Out of frustration, I started to
act up in school which might have been a cry
for help. Around this time, I began smoking
cigarettes and had my first drink. My friends
and I poured a bunch of different alcohol to
make a “screwdriver.” It was 100 degrees that
day and at first, drinking felt good, but soon I
was throwing up.”
“Shortly after, I started smoking marijuana.
When I was in high school, I would smoke
every day before, after, but sometimes during
class. I started experimenting with more drugs
including PCP and Ecstasy. Using drugs was
fun. I got behind in my studies and eventually
graduated from high school. At the time, I
was living with my grandma and began going
to trade school to learn about computers.
But I was living another life, selling drugs and
running with the wrong crowd. Trade school
started off well, but I was lost, and my head
was in a cloud. I ended up dropping out.”
“In 2006, I had a daughter, and soon my life
was spiraling out of control. I had a child while
I was a child myself. On Father’s Day, I smoked
crack cocaine for the first time, and I loved it.
In 2007, on the day after the fourth of July, I
experienced a Divine intervention. While in the
shower feeling terrible, something told me to
call my mom. At the time she was sober, and
she told me to come back home. I ended up
going to my first rehab and things were going
well, but I was not ready to quit my lifestyle.
Crack had a hold of me. The things that I
learned at that rehab stuck with me and for
the first time in my life, I felt guilt and shame
for using.”
“In 2015, my daughter was diagnosed with
cancer. No matter what the excuse, good
or bad, I would turn to drugs. This is when
alcohol got its grip on me – the only drug
that I could never put down. In 2016, I was in
another rehab in Philadelphia – The Salvation
Army. For eight and a half months, I managed

to get through the program while my
drinking continued. When they finally
caught me drinking, I was kicked out.”
“My real father was born and raised in
Baltimore and was running a recovery
program on the west side of the city. New
place but the same story. Alcohol still had
a hold on me, but I was doing so well that
I applied to go back to school. To celebrate
my acceptance, I had one drink, and that
one drink would turn into the roughest 3
years of my life.”
“Cheap vodka would become drugs and
other programs. In December 2019, I was
sitting on a couch in a room that smelled
and was full of cockroaches. How did my
life get to this point? I was “dope sick,”
homeless, and had nowhere left to go.
‘God, please take away this feeling!’ God
answered my prayers, and I woke up the
next morning. It was cold and I had $17 in
my pocket. I knew that rehabs worked, but I
needed to go to detox. I ended up at Mercy
Hospital and slept well for the first time in
a while. The next day, they asked me what
I wanted to do. I exhausted all my options
and called Helping Up Mission (HUM).”
“The next morning, I took a brisk, cold walk
to HUM. When I arrived, I had nothing,
and the mission was packed with people. I
wondered how I was going to be able to get
through this. I began to struggle and called
my mom and she said, ‘if you don’t do this,
act like I do not exist and lose my number.’
I knew she wanted me to stay. Soon, God
started putting people in my life. Reggie
Harrison, HUM’s Transportation Manager,
started taking me to church and I began to
get rest. The choir director asked me to sing
a solo at Friday’s graduation, which helped
me get over my fear of public speaking.”
“I began noticing people having success.
I began to commit to doing things like
going to spiritual retreats. I joined a group
called Brothers in Prayer and met fellow
like-minded graduates Demetrie, Lavell,
and Steven. I became an intern at HUM’s
barbershop, which helped me get ready for
outside work. I applied for a job and got
it! I worked hard and bought a car. I was
able to pay off my past student loans, so
I applied for college and got accepted at
UMGC! After this past semester, I have been
asked to join the school’s honor society.“
“My cousin ran into my daughter and
her mother and asked them to give me a
chance. This past Christmas, my daughter
asked if she could spend time with me,
and she did. My life was being fulfilled
and when Demetrie moved out of HUM, I
realized that so could I.
Today, I have my own place. It is not the
easiest, but I have peace and serenity. My
family is proud of me. I have gone from
selfish to selfless.

Because of your generous contributions, Brian (age 41) has focused on his recovery and learned to ask questions. Brian was raised in Pasadena, MD and had a good childhood. “I came from a middle-class family. I never wanted for anything. My parents divorced before I was two and my stepfather became my dad, while my father bounced in and out. He was a holiday father, only visiting on Christmases and birthdays. I knew that I wasn’t the reason for his actions, so I don’t let it affect me. I grew up in a very strict environment. I did what I was told, when I was told. It wasn’t an ask why kind of household,” recalls Brian.

Drugs and alcohol were introduced to Brian’s life at age 12. “I began using psychedelic drugs like ecstasy and acid at an early age. But I didn’t realize that I had a problem until my thirties. In my twenties, I was a Union sheet metal worker. I could party, go to work, and go to school while using drugs. I never ‘had a problem’ until I met opiates. Once I did everything spiraled downhill.”

“When I was in my 20’s and early 30’s I was shy to an extent. I would stay in the house and only come out when needed. When I met opiates that changed. I ventured out of the house. I wanted to talk. I started hanging out on the streets, and once I did that, I became a part of the street life.”

Eventually jobs became harder to hold on to. One day Brian got hurt on a job and ended up going to pain management. “I figured out how easy it was to obtain large amounts of opiates. I went from two cars, a house and motorcycles to losing everything. Soon I was living in tents and abandoned homes. And by the grace of something I’m still here.”

Brian attended and completed a six-month program on his own free will. “After months of sobriety, I was walking down 25th and Maryland Avenue and the crack dealer said ‘testers’. At first, I kept walking. But then I thought ok. I could do this.” Shortly thereafter Brian was once again, living on the streets panhandling in West Baltimore.

Eventually an ‘Old Friend’ found Brian and told him that he was going to Helping Up Mission (HUM). Brian responded, “Really? You’re going to that place on Baltimore Street? He said, “just come with me man”, at first, I said, “no”. Yet, when I pulled up out front of HUM, it wasn’t anything like what I had in mind. And it was January and it was cold.”

“At HUM I had a question for everything. When I was a child we only went to church on Christmas and Easter. I never was religious. But the Spiritual Life staff has been open to my goofy questions. My beliefs have been opened. I want to learn more about religion, but I want to learn about all aspects of it – the good and the bad.

For the most part, Brian acknowledges that his work therapy assignments have had right timing. “I chose to come here, to fully work and focus on myself. I didn’t come here to get my kids back, for a good girlfriend, or a good job. At first, I cleaned toilets, and then I was a peacekeeper at the 23 desk. The 23 desk is a focal point of the building dealing with 400 different personalities (as they check in and out). It taught me patience. Finally, I started working in the Treatment office, where I ask a lot of questions and talk a lot with the men. I get to help people daily.”

On relationships, Brian has reached out to his father. He is also rebuilding the relationship with his mother. “Recently, I got a phone call from her, stopped by the house and when I was getting ready to leave, she asked if I would come by the next day. But family doesn’t have to be blood. My daughter’s mother has been there for me this whole year. We can relate. The other day I texted my daughter that I only had two weeks until graduation and she said, “I know. I am proud of you.” And that brought me to tears. So, through me being selfish in my recovery, I have earned back respect and relationships. I’m not perfect, but I am living reasonably happy. Now, I plan on doing the next right thing.”

“After graduation I’m going back to work and possibly taking the steps to become a part time Peer Recovery Specialist. I plan on getting my alumni badge and coming back here, to keep asking questions. I have a newly discovered passion for helping people. Now, I love talking to people.”

“To the donors, you ladies and gentlemen are truly a blessing, because of your blessings HUM gives so much opportunity and Hope.”

Valeriy, 31, grew up in Nakhodka, a small seaside town in the Russian Far East. At age 7, his family emigrated to the United States, settling in Pennsylvania.  Coming from a close-knit community of people trying to get by, Valeriy was shaped by Russian culture in a positive way. However, adjustments from his upheaval at a young age contributed to stress and anxiety and without the proper coping skills to navigate his new way of life here in America.

At age 9, Valeriy planned to play basketball with friends after school. Unknowingly, at the same time, his father finished work early and wanted to spend some quality time with Valeriy, playing tennis. The misunderstanding led to his father, in a rage, beating him severely. Valeriy recalls, “This moment revealed my father’s abandonment issues and shaped my codependency. I didn’t want to get the crap beaten out of me again.”

“In high school I began playing soccer, which shaped my self-discipline. Due to “peer pressure” and in order to “fit in”, I started smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol.  While initially able to maintain classes and relationships, things got out of hand in college. I lived by myself, living off a bag of potato chips and marijuana. I figured that if I had those two things, why would I need anything else?”

After college, Valeriy got married and fathered a son. “We were so young and immature, we didn’t know how to communicate.  Marijuana gave me a fake euphoria; my culture made my identity as a father permanent.  My family didn’t believe in divorce. Eventually we separated and regardless of my father’s actions, my upbringing taught me how to be a father.

“I thought I could achieve more through drug use, but I developed paranoia, lost my ability to control my emotions, and people began manipulating me. Eventually, my actions were going to lead me to lose custody of my son.”  A moment of God’s grace.  “I was planning on going to my son’s Taekwondo belt ceremony. The night before, I thought that I would stay up all night on crystal meth, but fell asleep, and woke up right before the ceremony. Upon arrival, I was asked if I was high on drugs. My custody was at stake and I was tired of lying. I was sick. My spirit and happiness were gone. In order to enjoy my time with my son, I thought I had to be on drugs.

After I confessed, my ex-wife told me about Helping Up Mission, saying her ex-boyfriend had spent almost a year there. I interviewed for the recovery program but was told I needed to “detox” from the drugs before entering the program.  I stayed at my ex’s house for a week and returned to the mission in peace. I was raised Christian, so I view it like Daniel having peace in the lion’s den.”

“It wasn’t always easy. I didn’t see my son for the first six months, and dealing with being in the city can be difficult. But I didn’t struggle with the density. I was able to go on Equine Therapy retreats to a horse farm and enjoyed hiking trips on the Appalachian Trail, where at the end of the day we could sit around the fire and help each other out. I joined “Back on my Feet”, and now I love the city of Baltimore and its architecture. I studied Landscape Architecture in college, and I love the city’s open spaces.

HUM’s one-year Spiritual Recovery Program has helped me on my spiritual journey.  The answers are all in the Bible, reading it first and then putting the lessons into practice. Before I came to HUM, I knew about Jesus, I just didn’t know Jesus. I was never vulnerable to Him.  Like Daniel, take my attention off my problems and turn my focus to God.  Unfortunately, some damage had been done because of my past, but I can now love without fear.

Valeriy recognizes that plans do change.  “My plans have changed six times since I came to HUM. At first, my recovery was for my son. Then I was going to stay for two months, six months, and then I was going to get a job. But working in Overnight Guest Services (OGS) has slowed me down and taught me humility.  I have learned, with respect, to see our guests as persons and not a persona. I show them love, humor, sensitivity, and compassion. This humility allows me to sit still and not worry about a job right now.

“I used to build furniture by hand, and soon I will finish my CNC training through the Jane Addams Resource Corporation (JARC). My dream is to one day combine these two skills, move back to Pennsylvania, and open a shop, so that I may provide for my son and meet his basic needs. And to be his father.”

“I would like to thank the donors, this is an opportunity that God puts in their hearts to give. Please do not be discouraged to give a guy the chance to affect his life. This is a huge investment in our future.”

Devin will be running for Team HUM at the 2019 Baltimore Running Festival (BRF). The journey that led him to this point was not always smooth, but his transformation enables him to maintain structure in his life. He runs to support all men and women struggling with addiction and homelessness.

Devin, 30, was born and raised in the Owings Mills neighborhood of Reisterstown, Maryland. “I was always athletic. I played football, basketball, baseball, and ran track. My father really got me into sports, he played baseball his whole life. I was good at all of them until I broke my femur playing football at age 12. It took me a while to heal, but I attended Mount Saint Joseph High School in Irvington and continued to play sports.”

“Everything was going well until my parents divorced when I was 18. I moved to Edmondson Village with my mother, which is when my active addiction began.  I started hanging out with my friends from Mt. St. Joseph and my mindset changed. I started thinking and reacting differently to life, and developed a sense of paranoia.  I had to look over my shoulder all of the time. I thought I had to be on point with my movements, the way I acted, the way I thought, and the way I talked. I was drinking, partying and doing illegal things.”

After high school, Devin briefly attended Delaware State University to play football. Unfortunately, he made some bad decisions during his first winter break and got locked up.  At the age of 19, he would spend a couple of months at the Baltimore City Detention Center. The case was ultimately non-processed, because Devin was “in the wrong place at the wrong time”.   “It messed my head up, I didn’t know how to deal with going back to the old neighborhood upon release.”

“I started drinking every day, hanging out with my friends, and partying.  I did this for the first decade of my adult life.. I became depressed—this  was not how I wanted to live. I could do better than this.  I have always had people say that I had all the potential in the world, I just didn’t know which route to take to make my life better and get out of the depression.”

“My mother gave me an ultimatum. She said, “Devin, you can either go to Helping Up Mission (HUM), or you can get out of my house forever.” My mother learned about HUM through my father’s sister who gets her hair done by a guy that does the Tuesday meetings in the rec room. I fought this weekly with excuses until I finally said okay. I’ll go. I surrender. And coming to HUM is the best choice that I ever made in my life.”

“HUM is a breath of fresh air. All of the negativity of the outside world went away, and I started adjusting to the daily structure of Mission life. Before I came in, I wasn’t too fond of people telling me what to do, but I learned to humble myself and began taking direction.”

The structure that aided Devin took new meaning when he started running again. “I was working out every day in the gym, but my stomach wasn’t going anywhere. I signed up with Back On My Feet, to begin a running program.  Getting up at 5:30am began to push me mentally, and when I started running I started realizing that I was capable of more than I thought. One mile became two, and three miles became four.  Running is a metaphor for recovery.  I have a network of people who will not let me quit. It is a great thing just to be able to do something with a group of people who want the same things out of life.”

“Today I work in Client Services.  I get to meet all of the new guys and help them get what they need, like health insurance. My mother always told me, “Devin, you are a rescuer, you have the heart to help the next man.” I truly bond with them and answer their questions. I love it.”

On October 19, Devin will be running in the half marathon at the BRF. He has been training hard and is ready to push himself to see how far he can go. “Representing Team HUM is an honor, and to be noticed means that I am doing the right things in my Mission life.”

After the BRF, Devin hopes to serve his country by joining the NAVY as a helicopter pilot. A year ago, structure was one of his sticking points. But today, structure is a necessary part of a balanced life. “HUM has shown me that you really can do anything that you want in life. You just have to apply yourself.”

“Before coming to HUM, I knew that there was a God out there, I just didn’t understand His way.

Today I pray every night before I go to bed, and every morning while I run. Coming to HUM saved my life, I’d probably be dead or in prison otherwise. The greater reward is worth the try.”

When Isaac “Ike” lost his father at age four, he was sent to live with his aunt in Dundalk. He lived an outdoor “Huckleberry Finn” life, learning how to swim and even becoming a boy scout. Unfortunately, because his uncle was abusive, Ike’s home life was unstable and he frequently ran away.

Change came when a basketball was placed in Ike’s hands. Instead of running away he would run to the basketball court, and his skills rapidly accelerated. People began to notice how well he played, and opportunities began to present themselves. Anything that Ike needed; shoes, clothing, and basketball camp were provided for him. He helped lead his team to three straight championships. Colleges took notice and offered 17 scholarships before he decided to attend St. Bonaventure in New York. But, free opportunities sometimes come with the cost of exploitation, and Ike was vulnerable.

Before his time in college Ike had never been high, but during Easter break he was introduced to heroin, which was the beginning of the end. Ike recalls, “It gave me an escape, and I had a lot of scars. I took to it like I took to basketball. Soon I couldn’t get away from it.” That summer he stayed home getting high, and when he went back to school he realized that he had a habit. At half-time in the middle of a basketball game, he first felt the effects of withdrawal, quit the team and came home to the one thing he couldn’t escape anymore – Heroin.

Life deteriorated. When Ike returned home, his opportunities gone, he became classified as a career criminal and would spend most of the next 30 years in prison.

When he left prison in 2007, Ike realized that “the things that many people take for granted I never experienced.”

Shortly after his release Ike got married, but everyone, including his wife’s son, thought that it was a mistake. “At first I was angry, but during the first year of my marriage, I understood completely. If I had not used drugs drugs during my marriage, we would have made it. We both loved the Lord. But I started using and that ended it. I still speak to her everyday. We are in a really good place,” he admits.

Eventually Ike wound up at Mercy Hospital for detox. “Right after I got out of Mercy this guy said have you ever heard of the Salvation Army? He gave me the address and the phone number. I truly believe that guy was an angel because I had no other options.”

A few years later Ike needed a change from the Salvation Army and turned to his sister for guidance. “My sister donated money to HUM. I called and spoke with a man named Kevin, and he said “we’ll take care of you.” I thought that these were just words but when I came in I felt that this was a totally different beast,” Ike recalls.

When he arrived Ike had very low goals. “I wasn’t aspiring to do anything. Never really had a good job. I knew inside that I was better but I didn’t have the will.” “My sobriety hinged day to day. I have a solid foundation here. I knew it was doable.”

“My foundation starts with God. When I went to Pastor Gary’s class I thought, what is this all about. But when I got to Alpha (2nd stage of our year-long Spiritual Recovery Program) everything fell into place. Everything he said made sense. The Bible made more sense to me which made it easier to apply to my everyday life. Soon Mr. Avolio and my counselors gave me the confidence to do it. (finish the program)”

People started saying, “Ike, you would be a really good peer advocate. Matt Brown, the Education and Workforce Development Manager, went the extra yard for me, he made sure that I got with the right people. Matt helped me with my resume. Brett helped me with everything that I needed on the computer. Soon, I started the classes and was number one in the class. 4 interviews the first week, 3 job offers in 2 weeks. And I chose Johns Hopkins, Thanks Matt and Brett. As a Peer Advocate, my job is to help you help yourself. I will advocate for you. I’ve been there and I know exactly what you are going through. You can do it, I did it.”

“When I was younger I thought I was going to be a basketball player, but when life took its toll, I didn’t care. Life is not easy, but life is a truly precious thing, I have had some dark days, but I’m making up for it now – waking up seeing the sunrise and going to bed knowing I did the best that I can do.” Ike believes.

Finally Ike says, “It’s hard to put into words how grateful I am to the staff, this place gave my life purpose, and I would not have been able to do it without them. HUM made a difference in my life.”

John, 50 years old, was born at Baltimore Memorial Hospital as one of six kids. He graduated from Arundel Senior High where he played baseball and ran track. He was especially close to his mom growing up but admits, “I was a curious kid, so I always stayed in some kind of trouble. She always had her hands on me.” His father was around but was not very involved in his life.

At “the age of 16 or 17 years old, I basically went on my own path” and began hanging out and smoking marijuana. After John graduated, he worked at a racquetball club and watched people playing the sport. “I started to fall in love with the game. I used to sneak on the back courts on my days off.” The club pro taught him a few strokes and soon John was beating everyone around. He got sponsored and became a semi-pro racquetball player. “The thing that killed me with that is I would go to tournaments with nobody watching me, nobody behind me. I felt kind of lonely at tournaments and got introduced to cocaine.”

He met his first wife in the racquetball club, but after she became pregnant, she left him because of his drug use. She moved to Montana and John followed her. He remembers, “My dad didn’t have nothing to do with me when I was a kid, and I wasn’t going to do that to my child.” He started going to 12 step programs, but couldn’t relate because everyone in those groups was an alcoholic. “They didn’t want to hear my story, and I couldn’t tell my story.” John and his wife got divorced and then remarried. When they were apart for a year or two, he went on using sprees. They divorced again and, after seventeen years in Montana, John moved back to Maryland and went back to his cocaine and his life as a “go fast boy.”

John came to HUM for the first time in 2012 because he was “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” He was dating a girl whose brother was at HUM. He stayed for several months but got in trouble while away for the weekend and couldn’t make it back to HUM. “It ate at me because I was doing the right thing and let the wrong thing happen. I eventually knew that I was coming back here.”

John stayed clean for almost three years. But, he started dwelling on all of the problems going on. His mother was battling cancer, and his brother passed away. He thought, “I didn’t come home for this.” He missed his son, but John says that his past using “was shaming me from keeping in touch with him.” After his mom had lost her battle with cancer, John says “I fell right back in the boat I always fell back in.”

His girlfriend wanted him to get help and called around. Eventually, John told her to bring him to HUM. “In my own mind, I always knew I was going to come back.”

John ran track in high school, the 440-yard dash and some long distances. When he was at HUM in 2012, he joined Back on My Feet and ran with them as part of his recovery. Upon returning to HUM, joining a running team was a priority for him. “I went right to my counselor and told him I need to get back on the team.” He explains running “is therapy to me. It puts me at ease. It lets me think, it lets me really think about what’s going on in my life.”

John explains that he isn’t normally one to socialize, but being part of the Back on My Feet team has helped him to relax a little. “When I first joined the team…I wasn’t really a talker and everybody on the team talks. Once I settled in and realized it was okay to talk, they aren’t trying to dig into your business; they are just trying to help you. Once I got that in my mind, I was good with it.” Now, John says his teammates think, “Man he doesn’t shut up.”

The time on the running team encourages John and helps him to help others. “I find myself around the Helping Up Mission talking to guys…trying to show them certain things to do, not to sit up in corners hovered up. I even encouraged some guys to get on the team and just try something different.”

John is currently training to run the marathon in the Baltimore Running Festival in October. He recently finished in the top thirty-five runners in a ten miler with a time of 78 minutes.

In addition to the support he has found in a running group, John also goes to an NA 12 step program. “For me, I am dead in the water without it. You can’t do this alone; it’s just impossible.”

John is proof that good people can make bad choices, and while he may have to live with the consequences of those choices, there is hope. Once he graduates from Helping Up Mission, John plans to stay connected with his support community of HUM, as well as his NA group and will keep running as alumni of Back on My Feet.

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Jake is 32 years old and working on his bachelor’s degree from the University of Baltimore; he has plans to earn his Masters in Public Health to work on water security or to develop vaccines. Looking back at everything that brought him to this point in his life, Jake says that he is, “grateful for the Helping Up Mission and for everything I’ve been through.” He believes that “not everyone’s life has to be reduced to shambles, but I’m grateful because maybe if mine didn’t, I might be living a mediocre life.”

Jake grew up in Severn where he went to several small, religious schools. His parents divorced when he was eight years old, but he continued to have relationships with both his mother and father and knew that they both loved him. Jake’s father was more like a best friend growing up – he was always encouraging, but rarely disciplined Jake. 

He remembers, “I figured out pretty early that, if I can project the appropriate image, then I can get away with anything.” Jake had always been a good child and had earned his parent’s trust, so he barely had any oversight at that point in his life. He explains that he liked the “thrill of living a double life.”  In high school, Jake started using a variety of different recreational substances off and on.  After he graduated high school, he says, “I just wasn’t expecting the lack of direction that I had in life.  ” That hit me really hard because I had all the confidence in the world throughout high school that, in spite of my behavior, I thought I could have anything in the world that I wanted.”  Eventually, Jake started “relying on drugs to get any enjoyment out of life.” 

Jake

He remembers that “I didn’t want to do school anymore. I didn’t really want to do anything anymore.” After he had wrecked a car, he was sent to a strict rehab facility and then tried other rehab programs.  Jake recalls, “I hated the life I had and didn’t know how to stop or make it change.” So, he believes that he made one of his best decisions and joined the military.  He has always had an interest in the medical field, so he joined the Navy to serve in the medical corps.   

During the five years in the Navy, Jake trained in Illinois and served in Italy and Pearl Harbor.  He was also able to serve on a six-month humanitarian mission to Central and South America.  Jake says the military “let me travel, let me know that I could do anything that I put my mind to, gave me friends around the globe, and gave me ideas for my future.” While he may have had the opportunity to drink with his peers, Jake recalls that substance abuse was not an option for him while in the Navy. 

When he got out of the Navy, Jake had the best of intentions.  “I got out thinking that I was different enough that coming back here everything would be different.  It wasn’t really true. I came back to the same old frustrations, the same old obstacles.” “I can’t remember what the first reason I went back to using drugs was, except maybe boredom.”  Although he had a job he loved, Jake went back to his old ways and struggled for two years with his addiction. 

His older brother told him about Helping Up Mission, so he came to HUM for the first time in 2015.  “All II wanted was to salvage what was left of my life.  I didn’t know anything about really addressing me at the core and what is wrong. And I didn’t even really care to do that.  I was too scared to do that. I didn’t want to do that. I didn’t think it was necessary. I just wanted to protect the few things I had in this world – a car, apartment, and a few decent relationships.   I just wanted to stop digging the hole deeper.” Jake stayed for about three months but wanted to get back to his life as quickly as possible. 

Two months after he left HUM, Jake was “way out of control. It was my worst ever. There was daily use of heroin and cocaine.” His family was worried, and his sister staged an intervention, but he didn’t get the help he needed. He just kept using. It wasn’t until he overdosed and got in another car accident before Jake felt broken enough to see that he needed help.  Two days later, Jake came “crawling back in the doors of HUM.”

This time around, Jake entered HUM with a quiet new focus.  He found a couple of guys that he could relate to, stuck with them, and then really did some introspection.  He has taken advantage of the mental health counselors during this time at HUM.  “Before, I had no desire to really dig.  I was too afraid of what I would find.  Now I know that there is no hope of hope if I don’t do what is uncomfortable.”

Jake has learned to cut himself a break and to stop clinging to his past.  He now knows to take responsibility for the things he needs to, but that he isn’t responsible for the things he can’t control.  “I walked into the doors this time and just let go of the entire outside world.  I was no longer trying to save anything from the past.  I just knew that I needed to get myself straight.”

Jake says just hearing that “I am a wicked sinner and it’s okay” really helped him.  Now he knows that he “doesn’t need to be righteous for God to love me, or for me to love myself.”

Since coming to HUM, Jake has realized that he can combine the strengths of the 12 step program with his faith to make recovery work for him. In fact, Jake is the Secretary of his AA home group and enjoys serving in this way.  “I have been fortunate to find a meeting where I connect with the guys there.”

Jake will stay at HUM through graduation this time but then plans to move on and finish up his schooling.  Because he has allowed himself to focus on his recovery during his stay at the Mission, Jake is celebrating his independence and believes God knows how his future will all work out.

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