Archives

Warren G., age 52, was born in Baltimore City,
Maryland. “My early childhood was loving and
confusing,” recalls Warren. “I was born out of
wedlock and hidden from my father’s family for
two years. The only person who knew about
me was my half-sister. When my father finally
brought me out to my family, my stepmother
considered me a “blessing” because she could
not produce a son for him. At an early age,
I learned that blood was NOT thicker than
water; love is thicker than blood. I was like
Moses, and my nickname was MOE. I was
raised away from my family and then returned
to their love.“
“My dad was a jazz musician. He was a
functional addict and became the first AfricanAmerican car salesman at a local dealership. He
could make money but could not hold onto it.
I would go for weeks at a time, not seeing my
dad. I would spend time with my great aunt
Eiddie, my dad’s mother’s sister, who was like
a grandmother to me, taught me the Lord’s
prayer, and took me to church. She was loving
and spiritual.”
“I did well in school, getting A’s and B’s while
playing sports. My dad packed us up to get
out of Baltimore, and we moved to Sykesville,
MD. I was popular and never wanted for
anything. My dad would have good women
in his life who I did not become attached to
because they never lasted. His relationships
in life caused me not to get attached to
others as a defense mechanism and go in
my own direction.”
“I started smoking marijuana at the age
of eight. I would smoke regularly during
6th through 8th grade. There were no
consequences. I became an outspoken
leader who could manipulate and receive
the attention I did not get at home. During
my sophomore year of high school, I wore
my dad’s jacket to school, and in one of the
pockets, I found a bag of cocaine. Despite my
burgeoning drug habit, I received a scholarship
to play football at Juniata College. I decided to
attend college even though my dad told me I
would not succeed. He was right. I failed out,
got my high school girlfriend pregnant, and
had a daughter.”
“At the age of 35, I got married to another
person experiencing addiction, and we had
two sons. Things got so bad that I knew we

needed to go to rehab. I sent her first,
knowing what would happen if she was
left alone while I got help. She lasted
fifteen days in rehab. We were in full-blown
addiction and living in a hotel on Fayette
Street, Baltimore. One day, I went to the
lobby to pick up our two boys, ages 7 and
9, and she overdosed and died by the time
we got back. I could not open the door
to the room, but when maintenance got
us in, I was losing my mind. A nice lady
notices my demeanor and offers to watch
my sons. How do you explain death to a
7-year-old? I simply said that we would see
Mom again.”
“I got clean from narcotics for eight
months, but in January 2022, I was driving
down Northern Parkway and decided
to snort some fentanyl. Immediately, I
realized that I had done too much. I pulled
over as soon as I could and woke up in an
ambulance. I was dead for eight minutes.
The paramedics hit me three times with
Narcan. My girlfriend told me that I
needed to go to rehab. I lost my car and
my place and had no job. God had finally
narrowed my path, so I called Helping Up
Mission (HUM) and spoke with George
Enriquez, HUM’s program coordinator
of intake, and he told me to show up on
Monday.”
“The rest is history. Today, I am working
on the 12-steps of Narcotics Anonymous
(NA) and on my 8th step. I am working
on changing my behavior. I have learned
that my life transformation will evolve
until the day that I die. I spent 44 years
in active addiction, and change has
happened gradually in the eleven months
since I walked through HUM’s doors. HUM
has changed my life. My work therapy
assignment is Treatment Coordinator –
Intern. I facilitate spiritual recovery classes
and NA and Alcoholics Anonymous
meetings, which help me focus on my
recovery. I try to do the little things and
the right things when nobody is looking. I
finally returned to school at the University
of Baltimore and changed my degree from
pre-law to drug counseling. Soon, I will
take the test to become a Certified Peer
Recovery Specialist. I am surrendering the
outcome of my new life to God’s plan.”
“To all the people that make HUM
possible, THANK YOU for doing the right
thing when nobody else is looking!”

Robert, age 49, was born in Washington, DC,
and raised in Forestville, MD. “My mom and
dad got divorced when I was two years old,”
recalls “Bobby.” “My mother remarried quickly,
and my new stepfather was an alcoholic. They
had no money, so I went to my dad for help
when I needed things. I spent every other
weekend with my religious dad, and he took
us to the Catholic church, which opened the
doors for Jesus in my life.”
“Elementary school went well, but I started
to goof off by middle school. My stepfather
would come home drunk from work, bust
things up, and yell at my mother. I could see
the worry on my mom’s face. Luckily, he never
took things out on us kids. At an early age,
I knew what the disease of addiction looked
like. At age 12, I moved into my father’s house
with my older brother. I did not know anybody
at my new school, and in 6th grade, I started
making people laugh to “fit in.”
“I tried smoking marijuana with my brother at
11 but hated it. By age 15, I enjoyed smoking
‘pot’ and drinking alcohol. I developed a love
for partying and meeting girls. Looking back,
all that I ever wanted to do was be liked.
Maybe it resulted from my father showing
more affection to my older brother. Whatever
the reason, I dropped out of high school, got a
job, and continued my desire to party.”
“My whole life became one big ‘frat party’
centered around alcohol and girls, and that is
what I did for the next ten years. In my early
30s, I realized I was doing too much cocaine,
but I couldn’t stop. I maintained my habit by
spending three to four hundred dollars every
weekend on ‘coke.’ I got married, and that
seemed to slow things down for a bit. We had
a daughter, and life was good for a year and a
half. That is when I realized my wife was not
the girl for me. After two years, we split up,
and our relationship was exactly like my mom’s
and stepfather’s!”
“By 35, I was back to my old ways. I met an
old girlfriend – ‘the love of my life’, moved
in, and bought a house. From 36 until 40,
I enjoyed the best years of my life. I had a
well-paying job and a calm and peaceful
relationship with my love. At 40, I had become
a ‘weekend warrior.’ I worked hard and played
hard. I began using Percocet to get high,
which correlated with casinos opening in
Maryland. I would spend every day gambling
at Maryland Live, and one day I won $32,600!

I burned through so much money buying
Percocet that my habit became an opioid
addiction. Having blown through all my
casino winnings, I turned to the cheaper
alternative heroin.”
“My love had enough. I started stealing
from retail stores and even my family to
pay for my habit. I eventually got arrested
for theft, but that did not deter me from
stealing. I was 47 years old, homeless, a
petty thief, and in and out of rehab. One
day I was in a halfway house after relapsing
and overheard some guys talking about
Helping Up Mission (HUM), “That’s where
you get your teeth fixed!” They said it was
a one-year program, and I immediately
knew that is what I needed to recover.”
“When I walked through HUM’s doors, I
instantly knew it was the place for me. The
campus was beautiful. As the days passed,
I realized how special this place was in
addressing mental, spiritual, and physical
needs. I went to the recovery classes
and fell in love with Mike Rallo, Director
of Spiritual Life, and Vic King’s (former
Assistant Director of Spiritual Life) unique
way of hammering lessons at you. All the
staff wants to help you.”
“I did not want to return to my job in
construction, so I transferred to the IT
department, taking classes with Byte Back
Baltimore. I learned computer skills that
I never had access to. After a year in IT,
I realized that was not my job choice.
Laura Scott, a former HUM counselor,
told me they were hiring a Spiritual Life
Coordinator. I applied, and Mike and Vic
hired me to work for HUM. Ninety percent
of my job is working with clients all day,
every day. I enjoy taking the men on
retreats and outings, but the thing I like the
best is talking to the ‘Seeds’ – men in their
first 45 days in the program. I listen to their
stories and get to witness their hearts.”
“HUM has given me sobriety, stronger
faith, a lot of grace, peace, serenity, and
a new career. I have created a new life
for myself and my kids, who are doing
fantastic. After all that I have put them
through, we have a great relationship and
talk all the time. I plan to ‘stick and stay’
at HUM, and we will see what the future
brings. “
“To the donors, not one cent of your gifts
is wasted. Every penny matters and is a true
blessing. You oil this machine called HUM
that blesses the clients, their families, and
the city of Baltimore every day. I hope to
see you all someday. Thank you!”

Brian, age 43, was born in Saint Petersburg,
Florida, and raised on Anna Maria Island, Fl.
“Growing up, I had a great family life with
loving and supportive parents,” recalls Brian. “I
was the youngest of four children – the baby of
the family. I was raised in a Catholic family and
developed a close relationship with God. From
kindergarten through twelfth grade, I attended
Catholic schools. I did not fit in with the
normal kids, so I spent time together with the
“loser” crowd. We were an antisocial bunch. At
age 16, I started smoking marijuana, tripping
on acid, and experimenting with other drugs.
At the time I was being bullied a lot and I did
drugs to escape reality. Drugs made me feel
good and fit in.”
“I graduated from high school and moved
to Orlando to attend Valencia Community
College. I met new friends and started
clubbing and experimenting with psychedelic
drugs. At the time, I thought that I was just
a normal kid. I got caught stealing from the
hotel I was managing, and my dad said,” Brian
you need to leave Orlando and move to my
work apartment in Georgia.” I met someone
and we moved back to Florida and got heavy
into drugs. My drinking got out of hand, and I
still did not know that I had a problem. When
the relationship turned sour, I moved away
to Colorado. There is where I was introduced
to black tar heroin and oxycontin. I started
noticing withdrawal pains and that is when I
finally realized that I had a problem!”
“I moved again! This time back to Georgia
to live with my sister. I quit heroin “cold
turkey” but started drinking heavily again. I
was introduced to methamphetamines and
injected daily. I soon lost everything, could not
pay my rent, and moved into a hotel. I was in
a horrible relationship of physical and mental
abuse. My cousin secretly got me, and I moved
back to Florida!”
“After a year in Florida, I got hooked on
opiates again and started “shooting up,” all
day and every day. My addiction went from
zero to a million. I spent the next four years
hiding my addiction from my family while
“shooting up” not to be “dope-sick.” I finally
came clean and asked my family for help. At
age 38, I had finally given up. I attended my
first 30-day program while on suboxone and
I became addicted to the medication. When
I started to experience withdrawal pains, I
immediately sought to relieve them through
heroin – the drug that they were supposed to

ease me from. I would spend another two
years addicted to heroin while going in
and out of 30-day programs.”
“At the age of 42, I went back to the
30-day rehab again. This time, I found
myself in legal trouble and knew that I
had to do something different. With the
help of the rehab and my parents, we
searched for a more permanent solution
and found the Helping Up Mission (HUM),
online. I saw what they had to offer, and
I knew that making such a commitment
was something I had never done before.
I needed to address my mental, spiritual,
and physical health issues. I purchased a
one-way ticket to Baltimore, left my dog,
and sought help!”
“My previous program was small, and at
first, being one of the 500 people that
HUM served was overwhelming. One day,
I was sitting alone while feeling depressed
because I did not know anybody. Another
client asked me to join the HUM Choir and
I nervously agreed. Before I knew it, I was
coming out of my shell! Through HUM’s
resources, I went hiking, on retreats to
Camp Wabanna, attended outside recovery
meetings, and enjoyed therapeutic art.”
“I spent the first two months of the
Spiritual Recovery Program assisting
in housekeeping as my work therapy
assignment. One day while signing thank
you notes in the Philanthropy department,
I asked Philanthropy Specialist Mike
Cannon if there were any opportunities
to help. The atmosphere was relaxed,
and I was brought over to be an
associate, answering calls, giving tours,
and cataloging gift-in-kind donations.
Thanks to my hard work, I soon became
the Philanthropy Intern. With increased
responsibility, I continued to attend my
wellness appointments, but I wanted
something more. I enrolled in online
classes at Southern New Hampshire
University to pursue my degree in
psychology with a minor in addiction
counseling. Even though I have graduated
from the program, I have decided to
stay at HUM for a couple of years while
finishing school and finding work.”
“It is a new year and I have been able to
reinvent myself! Thanks to you I have been
able to address mental health, obtain my
driver’s license, and get my teeth fixed in
the Dental Program. HUM has completely
changed my life by offering me much
needed help with compassion. After all
the times I spent in and out of 30-day
programs, I wish I had found this place
earlier! Because of you and HUM, I have
become a stronger person who can help
other people!”

“I was tired of not knowing what HUM was about”

Allen, age 53, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. “I grew up in East Baltimore, but at the age of 14, I was moved to one of the worst neighborhoods in West Baltimore and placed in foster care,” recalls Allen. “I understood what the “system” was trying to do. The move seemed great at the time. There were porch front homes. Kids had mothers and fathers. It was a healthier family setting. But, outside of those homes, the neighborhood had a “gang bang” type of mentality.”
“From age 12 to 16, I was just smoking marijuana. But, when I moved to East Baltimore, I started seeing guys shooting up heroin. The same guys were like ‘bosses’ of the neighborhood and you did not mess with them. I hung out with a gang of guys, and we made a pact. As long as we did not buy drugs to use, using was okay, because we equated addiction with guys that spent money on drugs. So, we took what we needed. Eventually, some guys figured out what we were doing. They said, ‘we know what you are doing. We think that you are a cool dude but keep taking from us and there will be consequences.’ I ended up forging friendships with a lot of them.”
“I began to navigate through my drug usage, through my addiction. Using was like a circuit, just repeating the cycle. Man, I was on that cycle until I was 46 years old! I always had a way out. I went through a lot of abuse as a child. I was ‘damaged goods.’ But I began to doubt my life. I love change and I started to wonder what it would take for me to change the way I was living. What would it take for me to find a way out of this wheel? I clearly said I need to find a way out!”
“The first time that I came to Helping Up Mission (HUM) in 2014, I got turned down at the door. One day, I decided that I was tired of not knowing what HUM was about. I entered the building and started looking around and ran into Kevin Healey, Director of Program Accountability. Kevin said, ‘I know you from somewhere!’ I told him that I had not been allowed into the program so many times that he recognized me from not letting me in. Without delay Kevin asked if I was ready. I did not intend to enter the program that day. But I felt that it was meant for me to be there.”
“I came in December 2014 and graduated Christmas Day 2015. I remember my first Christmas here. I was in Overnight Guest Services (OGS), and I had feelings about not having a home to go to for the holidays. But, this volunteer, a little girl, asked if I could use a. She was an angel and I still have it.”
“In 2016, I got into a relationship, and even though I was not ready to leave due to unfinished business, I left HUM. I had a job, a relationship, and a nice house with a peaceful front porch. Everything was so quiet. I felt like I was on probation, and I relapsed. I remember thinking of what might happen, what I would have to go through, and I decided to seek my recovery. I reentered HUM through the Johns Hopkins 9-1-1 program, but I did not surrender. I was trying to chase my old recovery.”
“One day, Pastor Gary Byers saw me and said,’ I knew that you would be back. Allen, you needed to be sold on the real joy of recovery.’ He nailed it! I surrendered, and today I love learning about myself. Pushing myself beyond what is dangerous or comfortable and being honest makes me free. Freedom today means not being prisoner to my old thinking, feelings, and emotions.”
“HUM has given me determination, better mental health, and better mental awareness. I earned certifications in computer fundamentals, Microsoft Word, and Excel. I have addressed my child support. I have also received my certification to become a Peer Recovery Support Specialist.”
“It has become obvious to me that there is a Higher Power. I have been in enough situations where it was not me, but Him who got me through it. When I first came back to HUM, I worked in housekeeping, but I felt like I wanted to do something more. I felt Him say ‘please be still. What I have for you will be for you.’ Shortly after I was asked to work with the Treatment Coordinator (TC) team. I get to help men in the program navigate and communicate with their TC’s. I had a lot of apprehension during my recovery, so I can help the guys coming in.”
“I have four kids and my relationship with them is wonderful. I came from a broken home, and it is important for me to help my kids break the chain of not having their fathers in the family. We are going to get through this together. “
“Thanks to the donors for their compassion. The guys around here are living, walking miracles. You are changing the world. I never thought that I could lead a happy life. At my age, when you come into recovery, you are masked up and uncomfortable. At HUM you can experience freedom and real Spiritual Recovery. Thank you!

Jose, age 50, was raised in Quakertown, Pennsylvania before moving to Philadelphia when he was 6. “We moved into the Erie section of north Philadelphia,” Jose recalled. “A bad incident happened between my father and mom, and he just disappeared – he went back to Puerto Rico and divorced my mother. I was raised in a church going family with decent values, I just went off the deep end as a teenager.”
“I remember going to the ballpark with my grandfather. I was close to him. One time he took me camping and was teaching me how to clean a fish. He looked at me, swung the fish, and it smacked me across the face! He laughed so hard that he peed his pants! That moment was a highlight of my life.”
“We moved into a not so nice section of Philadelphia, and I was told to change schools. The school was in a predominantly white section and there was a lot of racial tension. It was a challenge, especially being jumped twice and chased out of their neighborhood. Kids were just not nice and that is when I dropped out of school following 5th grade.”
“I took to the streets. We did not have a rec center or playgrounds that were safe. But the streets made me tougher. I learned how to hustle. I always had to prove myself, and I was fighting constantly. To get good clothes or a decent pair of sneakers, I took to selling drugs and made fast money. I started smoking cigarettes, then marijuana and drinking alcohol. But when crack cocaine hit the scene, it was something new for everybody. And it was socially acceptable to use it!”
“I met a girl who put me on a different path. I was dealing drugs in front of her house, and she said, ‘you’re better than this.’ We fell for each other hard. I would have done anything to be accepted by her parents and one day I was knocking on their front door to speak to them, and her father pulled out a .38 revolver and just starts shooting at me! He could have hit me, but he wanted to scare me! She told me that if I wanted to be accepted by her parents, I needed to do things differently.”
“I left town for Harrisburg and when I came back at age 20, I had a decent job, but her parents moved her to California. When I could not find her, I went off the deep end. I got deep into hard drugs. For a year, I was so depressed that I was trying to kill myself. So, I sought help for my addiction for the first time.”
“Around age 36, I met Pastors Dwight and Tony from Greater Grace Church and started going to their church in Philadelphia. And they brought me to Helping Up Mission (HUM) for the first time, in 2008. I had my first epiphany there. I was in the old rec room memorizing Bible verses and looking for Matthew 4: 19. Something tapped me on the shoulder, but nobody was there. I felt a warm hug, started crying, and prayed. I found Matthew 4: 19 and it said, ‘come follow me.’ That is where my spiritual journey began.”
“My second epiphany happened years later. I was packing up to leave my house and I reached for my 2008 seed certificate, and it fell to the ground but landed upright on the frame! I looked at it and said, ‘I am going back to HUM!’”
“My son was murdered four days after I came back. I became depressed but I decided to continue my recovery. HUM is where I feel the most fulfillment. For a long time, I wanted to be a contractor. Today, my number one priority is to go to Bible college, to continue in the ministry that I started with Haven City Church in Fells Point. I happened to arrive at the church when they needed help. Being bilingual, I was able to step right in and help. Now, I am driving their truck and have keys to the center! And soon I will oversee the food ministry.”
“There have been tough times at HUM. Particularly the death of my son, his mother, and my other children being homeless. I prayed hard for my other children and a family member from Chicago stepped up and provided a house for them!
“Today my life is different, God has shown me the way. I enrolled into Metro Baltimore Seminary. I stay in service helping others. I cannot believe HUM exists, what they are doing for us. HUM helped get my taxes done. Traffic legal issues have been taken care of. Workforce development helped me with my student debt. My credit score is looking good. And the Latino program that is growing here! “
“I hiked the Appalachian Trail. The campfire was awesome. It was special to reconnect with my grandfather, who I had camped with so many years ago. God created this blessing of nature.”
“Thank you (donors) from the bottom of my heart. Without your generosity, a lot of people would not get the help they deserve!”

August NL 2021 Feature Story Michael C.

Thanks to You Michael is Ready to Say Yes

“When you combine a healthy active lifestyle with everything that HUM has to offer you have a ‘recipe’ for success.”

Michael, age 34, graduated from Helping Up Mission (HUM) in 2019 and in October 2020, was hired as our Philanthropy Coordinator. Although his journey of life-transformation has at times been rough due to anxiety and depression, today Michael will be preparing for his next step leading Team HUM at the 2021 Baltimore Running Festival.

Born and raised in Toms River, New Jersey, Michael grew up the youngest in a loving family of five. “I was first introduced to the team sports of soccer and baseball when I was 5. I really enjoyed the team aspect and competitive nature of sports with my friends. Toms River still is a hotbed of youth sports,” states Michael.

“During high school, I was a good student, played baseball, and ran track. I was a long-distance runner. The summer going into senior year I experimented with marijuana because of peer pressure. At first it was a weekend distraction that slowly progressed to a daily activity. Marijuana helped ease my mind and allowed me to escape my negative thoughts. Regardless of my early stages of addiction, I was able to graduate high school and move on to college at Rider University to study marketing.”

“While in college, I continued smoking marijuana and drinking alcohol on a regular basis. I was able to keep myself together and graduated college with a degree in marketing. The summer after graduation, I started my own ice cream business on Long Beach Island a popular summer tourist location on the Jersey Shore. Things were going good, despite my inability to deal with my mental health issues and drug use.”

“Eventually harder drugs were introduced to my lifestyle as the marijuana and drinking stopped doing their “job.” Honestly, opioids allowed me to become more outgoing. In 2017, I decide to get away from my negative influences in New Jersey and move to Maryland with my sister for a fresh start. I thought that a change in location would provide a change in my situation, but that is not what I found. Instead, my drug use continued. Looking at the prospect of becoming homeless or getting help – I chose the help that I desperately needed. “

Michael came to HUM and completed our one-year Spiritual Recovery Program. “After graduation, I started working and stopped focusing on my recovery. Instead, I was so worried about making money that I got away from the intensive substance abuse programs at HUM and relapse became part of my story. I realized that I learned a valuable lesson in keeping recovery in the forefront of my journey. I recognized the hope and peace of mind that HUM provided, and I reenrolled a couple of months later.”

“This time I did things differently. I started listening to people who had been successful in returning from addiction and I focused on the programs instead of rushing back to work. Sometimes sitting still is better than making a rash/emotional decision. Eventually a job opened up in our Philanthropy Department and Pete Griffin, Assistant Director of Programs, thought that I would be a great fit. In October 2020, I was hired which brings us to today.”

“My primary responsibility is to handle our Gifts-In-Kind (GIK) program for the mission in addition to supporting many Philanthropy initiatives/projects. GIK provides much needed clothing and essential toiletries to the 540 men and women that we serve. I remember how great it felt as a program member to receive these “blessings.” Now I get to see the work that I do have a direct impact on my friends in the program, which makes it rewarding.”

“I am also proud to be this year’s 2021 Team HUM Captain for the Baltimore Running Festival. Running is in my family. My brother competed in the Olympic time trials for marathons and as a former long-distance runner myself, I understand the importance of the team’s motto: One Life at a Time, One Mile at a Time. On October 9, two hundred men, women, and children will join me in raising awareness and critical funds while representing HUM. These funds will help save people from the devasting grips of addiction. Throughout the years at Helping Up Mission, exercise and healthy eating habits have been a big part of my recovery. Fitness has helped me learn discipline which was much needed in my life. I also realized how much these things helped with my mental health as well. When you combine a healthy active lifestyle with everything that HUM has to offer you have a ‘recipe’ for success.”

“Growing up, I never imagined living and working at a Baltimore City rehabilitation center. It is funny where God leads us, but I trust in His plan. I hope to continue working at HUM and giving back to the place that helped save my life. Whether it is leading a team at the Baltimore Running Festival or securing vital GIK donations for our clients, I am ready to say ‘Yes.’”

 

 

Dele is Feeling Your Christmas Blessings
“I started to become ME again”
Ayodele, 35, who goes by Dele, was born in Baton Rouge, but raised in Atlanta, Georgia. Growing up as a child of separation and divorce, Dele lived with his American mother and older brother during the week and spent every other weekend with his Nigerian father. Dele did well in school, had a good home life, and was an all-star caliber baseball player as a child. At age 15, all of that changed when he started smoking marijuana.
“My brother introduced me to “weed.” Since I was comfortable with him, smoking weed did not take a whole lot of thought. And things progressed to drinking beer. My grades started slipping in high school and with three months left to graduate, I told my mother that I was done with classes. She responded, “if you are done with school, you cannot live here.” I immediately moved out and began living with my cousins. And my addictions just took off from there. A lot of partying and drinking.”
“My father had a lot of lofty expectations. He wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer. He would say, “work now and play later.” I reversed that to play now and work some other time. He did not want to talk about anything other than education. I did not even know what I wanted for myself. I became rebellious toward him and in ninth grade, I got into a fight with him on school property. I ended up in juvenile detention and that was the beginning of my in and out of jail phase.”
Dele would cycle between violating probation, and 90-day juvenile programs. “It hardened me. I did what I had to do to fit in. I was in and out of the juvenile detention facilities until I turned 17. And then I went straight to county jail. I got out of prison for the last time in 2013.
“My older brother was in an out of rehabs at the time. He had finally gotten clean, and by seeing him go through the process of sobriety, I thought I should try it as well. I went to rehab for the first time in 2015.” Dele started repeating the in and out process, but this time with rehabs. “But my spirituality started to grow. I could hear God speaking. He would tell me to remove myself from situations – to not go.”
Dele, recounts a pivotal moment God told him to “not go.” “One late night, I was running out of drugs (cocaine) and I could hear Him say “don’t go.” But I had to find more. It was three o’clock in the morning and I am going back and forth in my head. My addiction finally wins, and I went looking for drugs. A dealer pulls up in his truck and a gunshot rings off inside the vehicle. He pushes the victim out of the truck and takes off. A guy runs up and starts wrapping the victim’s head while hollering out for someone to call the police. In my mind that was not what I came here for. Nobody called the police. We just walked off in our separate ways. “
“For some time, what I witnessed kept playing through my mind. If I did not stop using drugs now, I might be next in line. At the time I was a member of Back On My Feet Atlanta (BOMF) and told them that I wanted to leave Georgia. I wanted to get clean and I was not going to do so there. They introduced me to Helping Up Mission (HUM) through the BOMF team in Baltimore. I got on a bus with a suitcase and a map and arrived at HUM in June of 2019.”
“When I started the Spiritual Recovery Program (SRP) at HUM, my heart and spirit were hardened. I did not want to make any new relationships with people. But little by little, as I went to meetings and classes, things changed. The camaraderie at HUM, guys checking on you to see how you are doing and making small talk. Overtime, I would speak up more and more.”
“I started volunteering. I helped build the patio at the Chase Street Women’s Center with Coca-Cola Consolidated. I also volunteered at St. Vincent de Paul church on Friday evenings. Pretty soon, I began signing up for everything that HUM had to offer and my true personality began to come out. I was eating and sleeping well and, in the process, I started to become ME again.”
Today, Dele is back in school, pursuing a degree in respiratory therapy. He graduated from the SRP and is building his connection with his Higher Power. Dele is also rebuilding trust and restoring relationships with his father and his 11-year-old son. “My dad and I are a lot closer than we have ever been. I commit myself now to be there for my family. To be there for my son. I am excited about having a future that does not involve drugs and alcohol and my biggest problem is which courses should I take in school.”
“Thank you to all of the donors for making HUM possible. For me to come here all the way from Atlanta and feel comfort and safety. To be here at Christmas. It is all a blessing.”

“God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen.”

Listen and subscribe to A Shot of Hope: Recovery Stories

Struggling with addiction for over 20 years, Ramon (39) asked God for help, “God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen.” Thanks to generous donors like yourself, Ramon’s prayers were answered, and he came to Helping Up Mission (HUM), where he has healed, “spiritually, mentally, and physically.”

Born in Guatemala, Ramon’s family moved a lot: from Costa Rica to the Dominican Republic, to Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. His father, a preacher in the Seventh Day Adventist church, and his mother did a good job of making his family feel safe during the many moves. “I never liked to be in one place for very long. I got used to moving and liked meeting new people and discovering new cultures,” recalls Ramon.

Being raised Seventh Day Adventist, with a strict ethical code against the consumption of alcohol, Ramon did not have his first drink until age 19.  That all changed while in college. “That first night, I drank two forty-ounce beers. After that, I never drank casually. Drinking was all or nothing and I always drank to get drunk and I didn’t care about the consequences.”

Ramon’s “no-care” lifestyle would continue for another 15 years. Much like his childhood relocations, Ramon would often move to change the situations, yet his addictions would resurface. “Through the geographical moves, I now realize that I was the problem. I had always blamed my situations on other things.” Ramon moved to California to live with his sister, but his addiction resurfaced and he moved to Texas with his brother. “I thought that if I were around my brother, everything would get better. But I wasn’t happy and quickly started isolating myself. I moved back with my parents who were living in New Jersey, and repeated the process. My father got transferred to Maryland, and I moved too.  The pattern repeated: I got healthy again but started drinking.

In Baltimore, Ramon got arrested and while in detention asked, “God, this is it, I’m done. Please make something happen. That is when I met John. He said that he knew of a place that would help me. I did not see him again and I was released. We never exchanged information and I did not know how to find him.  But through coincidence, or more likely by GOD, John was there when I returned to get my things. And that is how I found Helping Up Mission.”

“The hardest thing about the Spiritual Recovery Program at HUM is living in a dorm with 30 guys, although it is cool how the men come from all walks of life. Learning to stay still, letting the ‘fog clear’, and taking direction were also hard at first. But they (staff) provide us with so much and there are so many opportunities to carry us through the year. I joined the choir and connected with the group Brothers in Prayer. I signed up for everything that HUM had to offer, like backpacking. I joined a recovery homegroup and attended Celebrate Recovery.”

Throughout the year I also stayed connected with John. He said he had a job opening for me when I was ready. At first, it was hard to find a job because of my past. But HUM helped me expunge my criminal record, and I work for John now at Sofi’s Crepes Fells Point. A job that I can walk to! It has been a blessing.

As Ramon looks ahead to his future, he is thankful for HUM teaching him to sit still and just letting God lead. “I passionately want to be a Peer Recovery Specialist. I want to help people get over the hump of addiction. I know what they are going through, and I want to show them how they can start from nothing and relearn what they know about God, religion, and recovery.”

“My relationship with God today is very personal. Recovery has really helped me see His love for humankind, but we must find out how to love ourselves first. God has given me the gift of being comfortable around people. Because of my upbringing, I trust people, and that is what I want to help instill in others. By trusting in God, like when I prayed to him from the detention center, He opened the door and placed John into my life.”

“Today, I am most thankful for my health and my life. My family stuck with me, even when I was reaching a point in my life where (it seemed) there was no coming back.   I am thankful for God bringing back my sanity (Recovery Step 2). And I am thankful for love allowing me to adapt to and accept people where they are. I am grateful for HUM healing me: spiritually, mentally, and physically. If I had the opportunity to go back and talk to myself on my first day I would say, ‘Ramon, you are at the right place. God brought you here. It’s starting now!’ “

Thanks to donors, volunteers, and partners like you, Ramon is well on his way to becoming a Peer Recovery Specialist. His true life-transformation is a testament to your generosity on many levels. And the hope that Ramon provides the men and women that we serve is immeasurable.

 

Kedrick, 51, born and raised in the Mount Washington neighborhood of Baltimore, MD. Although he was raised by two working parents who both retired from the State, his mother would often tell him that “we are poor compared to our neighbors”. Her intent was to keep Kedrick humble, but her comments instilled a sense of inadequacy that Kedrick fought hard to overcome.

Kedrick’s life was fairly comfortable, with plenty of opportunities. His mother made efforts to expose him to culture, while his dad tutored him in math and reading. At age 13 his parents divorced. His father’s drinking and violence toward his mother crumbled his family, and were the basis of other childhood traumas that led to Kedrick’s own drinking. “I drank to escape,” he recalls.

Kedricks found solace in the presence of his oldest sister Barbara. “She was a true big sister and a huge asset, I always wanted to be with her”. Just like his mother, Barbara fell victim to an abusive relationship, and was murdered while Kedrick was in his freshman year of college at West Virginia Wesleyan. Reeling from the loss, Kedrick thought that a change of location might improve his circumstances. He transferred to the University of New Haven.

“I drank alone, and I drank for the effect.”

Uprooted and grieving, Kedrick’s drinking took a turn for the worse. “I began drinking to fall asleep and numb my loss,” he says, “I drank alone, and I drank for the effect.”  He began to recognize his addiction manifesting itself in him as it had his father before him. Kedrick started going to Al-Anon to seek help, deflecting the admission of his problem. At age 22, Kedrick eventually made it to his first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

“I was a functioning alcoholic,” he remembers. Kedrick received his degree in Creative Writing at Vermont College, and he believed it was the beginning of a new chapter. “School was a means for ‘everything to be ok’, ‘I’ll be fine, I won’t drink anymore. I won’t be an alcoholic. I won’t feel less than.”

After finishing his degree he immediately entered an International Journalism Master’s Degree Program at City, University of London.

“The degrees didn’t fix me,” he reflects, “I still felt incomplete and empty. I always sought God, but I came up short. I moved a lot, to escape, to reinvent myself. Changing places meant always starting over, often times failing.”

In 2018 Kedrick would drink alone while listening to Christian music. He stopped socializing for the most part, and finally came to the revelation that he was tired of his struggle. He quit his job, called his family (who were unaware of his relapse), and checked himself into Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center for detox. While in Bayview, a counselor suggested another program for him to begin his recovery. “I was ready to leave and seek a Christian program, at first I called Salvation Army, but I kept hearing good stories about Helping Up Mission (HUM).”

Something deeper inside me said give HUM a try

Kedrick felt, “A year long program surrounded by so many people did not seem appealing, but something deeper inside me said give HUM a try.”

Today Kedrick celebrates 8 months of sobriety at HUM, and he feels acceptance and adjusted to life on life’s terms. He says that, “a lack of acceptance, patience, and tolerance was my downfall”, and “the staff of the Helping Up Mission has been a blessing, by helping me realize my true potential. It’s not all about me, It’s bigger than me, It’s a collective and they’re there to help me, so I must make the effort to help another.”

Before HUM, Kedrick’s writing was published in two Maryland newspapers, as well as in West Virginia, and London. He also held editor and columnist jobs in regional newspapers. While at HUM, Kedrick has used his writing skills to benefit the Inspiring Hope Campaign Newsletter for the Women’s and Children’s center.   Kedrick is the Editor in Chief  of our very own HUM Gazette — A newspaper by and for our HUM clients. Kedrick muses, “Seeing other guys get excited, and interested in writing… I enjoy the thrill that they receive when they see their names in print. It’s one of the ways that I give back.”

Today Kedrick has a homegroup, a sponsor, a home-church — The Carpenter’s House of Baltimore, where he is the Assistant Editor of their newsletter; and he is working the 12 steps of AA. Remembering what his mother instilled in him about monetary wealth, Kedrick’s favorite verse is:

Matthew 6:19-21 New International Version (NIV)

Treasures in Heaven

19 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.  20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

 

Keith, 55, was born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. From an early age he was recognized for being gifted in the Arts. Being a talented dancer and singer helped Keith rise quickly in the theatre world, yet his self-doubt and eagerness to be accepted led him down a dark path. This is a story about redemption.

Keith attended the Baltimore School for the Arts as a voice major and then switched over to dance and got courted by the Dance Theatre of Harlem. He received a full scholarship and moved to New York to pursue ballet. People immediately took notice of his talent and intended to make him into a star.

“It was a really interesting time because once I got to New York, it was like, okay… I’m here… I had a year and a half of training as a ballet dancer, which is not a lot and I’m in a school with all of these people who were hungry for something that I knew nothing about, and it wasn’t one of those things that I was hungry for. But it was something that somebody wanted me to do and I found myself doing that a lot in my life. They saw what I didn’t see.

My mother was always very supportive of me, but I always had some insecurity. I was always a soft kid, being bullied. Overcoming this was difficult, and his own father didn’t help. I remember one time my dad said to me “you’ll never be like your brother.”

That really stuck and manifested into “I’ll never be as good as this person. I’ll never be a good dancer. We carry these insecurities with us throughout our lives. I remember one time as a kid asking my mother, “Why don’t people like me?” and she said, “Everybody’s not going to like you.” I always wanted to be accepted.

I performed in a production of Sophisticated Ladies with Maurice Hines, which was such an adrenaline rush, and I started drinking a lot. I started disconnecting from my friends in New York, because everybody’s working and I was not. Looking back I realize that I was just creating this idea in my head. So then I started making new friends. Once they see that I’m cool we’ll be friends. I started buying drinks for all of my new friends. And then I started buying other things.

I knew these people didn’t really like me. They just liked my money. I was going to have a great time getting high with these people or getting high,period, not with these people. Finally, one time when I was sitting on the floor with a crack pipe in my hand, I looked down at myself and thought,what are you doing? So I called my sister-in-law. She’s a very strong believer, and she said, “I knew that you were going to call.” She took me to church.

I just felt something every time that I went to church. It was like I was crying out. The Pastor suddenly said, “There’s one person that I have to pray for,” so he pointed me out and he told me that they’ve been waiting for me for a long time.

Shortly thereafter, I came to the Helping Up Mission. I started going to the classes, writing, reading, Praying, meditating, and getting stuff out that wasn’t good for me.

These were blessings, gifts, I was given so many things that took me places that I’d never go. That part of my life is over, and I thank You, God, for giving me an opportunity to do all the things that You allowed me to do. I changed paths and got my CDL license.

And then something strong came over me and I started giving myself ballet classes, four or five days a week. I realized, He’s preparing me for something.

Soon people were asking me to come and teach master classes ballet classes. So I’m thinking, God, what is this that You want me to? I prayed on it and the following day I got a call from a woman who has as a conservatory. She made me an offer that I could not refuse. I cried because I knew I had nothing to do with it. I knew that was God working in my life. You know that this is a gift that I was given. I love the beauty of it.

I teach kids and they come with insecurities, and I totally understand that because I had my insecurities. Having the opportunity to see the same kids six days a week and to watch them grow… I love doing it.

In the dance world Keith felt like an outsider. This past year he has learned what acceptance feels like. It’s just talking to God of acceptance and a welcome of Grace.

I ask for His guidance.

At HUM, I’m fed every day and my blessings are just crazy. It’s crazy. Thank you guys. My compassion for those hurting is stronger, keep a watchful eye on them. I just pray that people can feel good, because we don’t have that long on this Earth. We have so much to be grateful for. That’s something that I hope for, and especially for the guys here. They’re always a part of my prayers. There’s a Holy Spirit that moves through this place. It’s all throughout this building, you know, and I just pray that we find what we need in order to move through life. We just have to get out of His way and let Him do His work.