“…That’s when true forgiveness became physical”

“I was an angry person, filled with a lot of hate. The source of my pain was growing up in a very violent household. I watched my mother take brutal beatings, constantly. It was normal for me to see that… and I developed a deep hatred for my stepfather. When I got around 11 or 12 years old, I started plotting how I would kill him. The hate was really deep-seated, because my mother was my everything… Shame and guilt set in, because I couldn’t help her. I wanted to help her so bad, but I was too young to do anything about it, and it left me feeling real powerless. It’s almost indescribable the hate that I had for him. I was coming home, and I didn’t know that my stepfather was suffering from stage 4 cancer. I went to visit my mom, and when I stepped inside the house and looked across the table, I saw my stepfather sitting there. But he didn’t appear to me as the man I’d always hated. At that moment – and to this day I can’t really describe what took place – but I come to feel and believe that God allowed me to see him through His eyes, and at that moment, the hate was transformed to forgiveness, and I found out that forgiveness is just as powerful as love. And in his last days, the man that I swore to hate, that one day I was gonna kill, I was changing his diapers. I was washing him, bathing him, I was carrying him literally in my arms… I really had it in my heart that I was gonna kill him. But God transformed that hate, and allowed me to see that man for who he is – one of His children. And I was always asking for people to forgive me for all the things that I did, but I wasn’t gonna forgive him. And that’s when true forgiveness became physical and took on a form. It wasn’t just words, it was real. Forgiveness became an action. Just as love is an action, I found out: so is forgiveness.” —– Wayne, 594 days #clean and #sober, shares his amazing story of #forgiveness and #love #soberlife #family #abuse #hate #shame #forgiven #forgiving #loveisaverb #heardatHUM

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