What Have I Lost (poem video)

What Have I Lost?
by Phil H

A loss in sense of being
What was I to do?
A loss of all I stood for
A loss of God knows who

Is there much missed out on?
Much I couldn’t know?
Is there really anything gone
Or gained which I could show?

A loss of who I wasn’t
A loss of who I was
A loss which I just couldn’t
Accept to be the cause

What am I to stand for?
What things have I still kept?
A loss I’d understand more
If I knew those things still left

My skull has lost some pieces
My back has lost some skin
Though my head has gained a thesis
On the things I could begin

My feet were torn to shreds
Slowly skin grows back
But know inside my head
Is what I’ve gained, not what I lack

To gain a brand new person
A person I could love
This is what I’m learning
Much respect for up above

To gain a brand new wisdom
Of a person learned to be
I guess I shouldn’t miss him
‘Cause that person wasn’t me.


For years, men in the addiction recovery program at Helping Up Mission have written poetry as a part of their recovery process. Now, they have gathered, edited, and published a sampling of their writings as a book: War of Grace: Poems from the Front Lines of Recovery. This video was produced in collaboration with the amazing team at Mozell Films.

You can download the ebook and audiobook: free of charge, at: