Archives

Yasin Abdul Adi was born in Detroit, MI but, while still young, his family moved to Knoxville, TN – the places he considers his “hometown” today. Yasin says he always felt a God-connection and tried many things to deepen it – including 25 years practicing Islam. Here’s his story.

My high school graduation present was to be allowed to hitchhike to California and that’s when I experimented with marijuana, alcohol, LSD and heroin (but didn’t like the latter back then). In those days I associated getting high with new life and experiences.

Later on in life, we would sit around and get high, talk about the country and how bad it was; how it was for black people. I started using injectable drugs and eventually got around to shooting heroin.

I had some pretty good jobs during those years – iron worker, welding and data processing. But in 1984, after going through a divorce, I was put in jail for public drunkenness. Later charged with armed robbery – I received a 35 years! But I wasn’t a bad guy and, after 10 years, was paroled for good behavior.

I completed two years of college while in prison and, when released, enrolled in the University of Tennessee – earning a degree in psychology. With my psychology degree I worked as a youth teacher/counselor, wilderness therapist, crisis interventionist, community health coordinator and supervisor at a residential youth house.

But one of the things I struggled with was setting proper boundaries in relationships – I tended to get too involved. So, after working four years, I relapsed. And for the past 20 years it has been a cycle of crack cocaine and alcohol, getting locked up, getting out, using again and getting arrested again. It seemed like whenever I used drugs I broke out in handcuffs.

Download MP3

When I was released from prison in 2013, my mother had Alzheimer’s. I’m really proud of her – she was the first registered black nurse in Tennessee and later joined the faculty of the University of Tennessee. I tried to take care of her and did well for a while…but eventually relapsed and wound up back in jail.

Upon release I went to Knoxville Area Rescue Mission (KARM) and joined their program. It was working for me but I relapsed again. KARM put me in contact with HUM and that’s how I arrived here early in 2016.

Along the way, I had given up on Islam and came to realize that there was something different about Jesus. He personified mercy, grace and forgiveness to all of us – even though we continually fall short. I had a transformational moment at a tent revival in Nashville when they sang “Have Thine Own Way, Lord” – and I surrendered. It wasn’t emotional…it was just time. Jesus is the only One who personified mercy, grace and forgiveness, while we continually don’t quite hit the mark. That resonated with me.

I love Gospel music…because I love Jesus…and was so grateful to be able to join the HUM band when I arrived here. Knowing I always do better in recovery when I stay involved with physical activity, I also joined the Back On My Feet running team (BOMF) here at HUM. But BOMF isn’t just about running – they also offer financial literacy, resume classes and community service.

So in October I’m running the full marathon in the Baltimore Running Festival, representing HUM and BOMF. I need a team because of my loner tendencies. And I’ve learned a lot from running – I’m learning to slow down.

I’ve benefited greatly from my mental health counseling here at HUM. So I’ve started working on a certificate in drug and alcohol counseling which will count towards my masters in applied psychology and counseling. It will take a couple years…I’ll be 66 when I am done!

But I’m excited to help other people my age gain insights into their own possibilities – of training, of enlightenment, of being aware of all they can still do and be!

Yasin

 

 “My life consisted of lies until I got to the mission….I would have never imagined that I would be where I am today.”  I grew up in Knoxville. My addiction started when I began using alcohol when I was 17 years old, after my grandmother passed away. I have no knowledge of my biological father. My mom remarried when I was five and and started working. With nobody at home my grandmother played a big role in raising me.

I was involved in church as a young child, but when my grandmother passed, I was mad at God and wanting to numb my pain. I started smoking marijuana and trying anything. My grades slipped but I still excelled at soccer and got a scholarship to play in college. On graduation night, my best friend was killed in a drinking and driving accident – that’s when I started running and left Knoxville.

“All I cared about was partying…”

[College} was the first time I was away from my family and on my own. I failed out and moved back to TN.  All I cared about was partying and soccer. I moved across the country and back again. I got into pills and cocaine. I would pick stuff at jobs quickly and then flame out.

I always had friends and family tell me that I could accomplish whatever I wanted to. But, I wasn’t passionate about anything, other than playing soccer. I was lost. I had accepted that I would be a drug addict the rest of my life, numbing my pain.

I didn’t want to  end my addiction.

I moved around a lot. I thought if I started fresh, I would stop using. So, I got the brilliant idea to join the military. I detoxed off of alcohol while I was in boot camp.  I ended up choosing the ceremonial guard, where I got injured and was proscribed Percocet. That was the end of it. I met a fellow shipmate who was injured; he introduced me to heroin. I started stealing from my shipmates and that is when it got bad. They put me into Walter Reed pysch unit for 3 weeks and then 28 day rehab in VA. I didn’t want to  end my addiction. After everything transpired, I was given an “other than honorable discharge”.

I could have gone home, but I didn’t want to put my parents through that again. I went out to Colorado and lived with a friend and his family. [It didn’t work out] and he bought me a ticket to Santa Cruz, CA. Eventually, I met up with a high school buddy and got a job working on a legal pot farm, making $500 a day. In Santa Cruz I was introduced to black tar heroin and crystal meth; I started getting arrested – 22 times in 3 years.

In his addiction James had no hope, no love, no faith, and no direction

My last arrest was June 22 of last year; my sobriety date is June 28, 2015. I weighed 150 lbs.and I had no hope, no love, no faith, and no direction. I attended church in jail and met a little old lady who reminded me of my grandmother. She told me that God loved me.  I asked God to come into my life and guide me. I had my first spiritual experience in a long time. The next day, the withdrawals were gone and I called my mom and told her I was ready to come home [when I left jail]. It was emotional to leave; I had become addicted to the lifestyle.

My first night home was the first time I had seen my parents in 3-4 years. Getting into treatment was part of the deal. I went to the Knoxville Area Rescue Mission (KARM), but I needed a long-term program and they [referred me] to Helping Up Mission.

“I was ready to change.”

Settling in, I wasn’t scared. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into but I was ready to change, whatever it took – I knew it was better than jail and it was time to get honest with myself.  Eventually, I felt peace and could walk into a place and not be judged. I could lay my head down and fall asleep.

Mental health counseling has been key for my recovery. When I was first assigned to mental health counseling, I had no idea what it was about. Before, I had no feelings, connection; I was a zombie. Mental health counseling was the first time in my life I could be honest about my feelings – my anger, fear, grief. It opened the door to get honest about my pain. This has led me to trusting others, rather than lying about everything and being suspicious of everyone. It’s led to genuine relationships with others, and I know that guys look up to me now. Spiritual Life staff, my sponsors, mental health counselor, parents – are all part of my recovery, opening me up to HOPE, and becoming more whole.

“I’m dealing with my emotions.”

Physical training has helped to create whole life transformation, too. When I was younger, I used exercise as a coping mechanism, running to escape. When I was injured in the military, that coping mechanism was no longer available and I used drugs to escape and numb the pain. Now, exercise and physical fitness still has great benefits, but I’m not using it to escape because I’m dealing with my emotions. I’m training to run the Baltimore Running Festival’s half marathon in October, so that I can bring awareness to men experiencing addiction and contribute to what has benefitted me so much.

My recovery changed last November. I posted my before and after picture on my Facebook page and it went viral.

James W

Before and after transformation.

“I have worked my program.”

I wanted to show my friends and family that I was doing well and change was taking place, not only physical, but mental change as well.  I have worked my program.  Today, I am honest, open-minded, and willing.  I have so much joy and love in my heart today.

I’m going to stay in Baltimore. I love the city and am being blessed on a daily basis. This is where my support is. I want to take care of my financial debt and go back to college to get a business degree.

Even through my addiction, his family has never given up

I am truly blessed to have such amazing friends and family in my life.  Even through my addiction, they have never given up on or stopped loving me, even when I stopped loving myself. I never imagined that I would be where I am today. I [am] most thankful for the ability to accept change in my life!

Download MP3

 

 

Watch the video above, as Wayne describes his process of forgiveness…

Wayne grew up in a violent home, with a stepfather who regularly abused his mother. From his preteen years on, Wayne planned to get revenge by killing him. But after several decades of consuming hatred and active addiction, Wayne was able to get clean and forgive his stepfather. He eventually even cared for his stepfather through the final stages of cancer.

Wayne has always loved to cook. Now, he’s training to become a chef. In the video below, you can see more of his journey as described by his sister, along with the recovery stories of two other men.

Aaron Benn, age 30, grew up in the Cherry Hill neighborhood of Baltimore. “I ran away from my Dad when I was 13 and moved in with my mom,” says Aaron. “She let me do whatever I wanted and I thought that was the life. I stole my mother’s car when I was 15 so she kicked me out. I went back to my dad but in the 10th grade, I dropped out of school and ran away.

“I started selling drugs at 15. I was arrested for attempted murder at age 17. I was innocent and eventually released. I earned respect from the guys in the neighborhood for getting locked up but not telling on the person who did it. That only encouraged me to dig deeper into the street life.

“I had experimented with drugs before but my addiction really developed at age 18 when I tried Percocet after a basketball injury. At age 27, I tried heroin for the first time. Not long after, a federal indictment come down in Cherry Hill and 40 people were locked up – half of them were my close friends. I stopped selling drugs because I didn’t want to be involved in that. But, I still had my drug habit and I could no longer afford it after I stopped selling drugs.

“Everything started falling apart. I couldn’t pay my bills. I left my girlfriend and went into isolation thinking that would be better for me and help me get over using. Instead of helping, my addiction became 20 times worse. I left my place and went to stay with my uncle and started selling drugs again.

“I grew weary of the life I was living. I finally woke up and realized I didn’t want to go any farther down the path I was on. I knew I had been raised better than that. I went to my aunt and uncle’s and asked them to help me. I told them that I wanted to get clean and to get my life right. My aunt told me about the 3 day detox program at Johns Hopkins Bayview. As I spent time in detox, I realized that if I was going to turn my life around, I would need extra help. A 3 day detox program wouldn’t provide me with the support that I needed to make a total life transformation.

“I called my aunt and asked about rehabs in Baltimore. She told me about Helping Up Mission and I called and got all of the information. That day that I came to the Mission, I woke up in the morning and asked God for a sign. I’m a big Ravens fan so, as I got dressed that morning, I put on all of my Raven’s gear. When I arrived at the Mission, they told me that the players from the Ravens were coming for the annual coat giveaway. Joe Flacco, Torrey Smith and several other big name players were there. I felt like that was my confirmation. I said, “Okay. This is it. I’m running with it!”

“The first 45 days in the Spiritual Recovery Program were literally the best 45 days of my life. I took that time to get to know myself. I attended all of the meetings and classes that I could and took everything in and applied it. I also attended several of the “HUM U” life enrichment classes – healthy relationships, manhood, anger management, grief and loss as well as others.

“As I progressed through the program, It was so encouraging to hear success stories from the program graduates. From my perspective as a young black man, it was so encouraging to see program graduates that I could related to on the HUM staff. Watching them, I knew that I could clean myself up and get myself together.

“On the first day that I was eligible, I started working on earning my High School Diploma through HUM’s education program. I received my High School Diploma in September 2015.

“I joined HUM’s running team through Back On My Feet. It was so helpful to be able to interact with people outside of the program who genuinely cared about the program members. I started both participating in and volunteering for races in the community.

“The staff at HUM helped me to get my driver’s license and helped me to pay for it through money that was available through Maryland RecoveryNet. For the first time in my life, I’m officially a licensed driver!

“I became an intern in the kitchen. While I was in the kitchen, I met Pastor Reggie from Morgan State. He was volunteering in the kitchen. He encouraged me to start volunteering and working with kids. I did that for quite a while but eventually the volunteer opportunity was over.

“One of the HUM staff members let me know that there was a man from Acts4Youth coming to the Mission. He had volunteer opportunities available that could possibly lead to a job opportunity. I met with him and started volunteering for the summer program. At the end of the 4 week program, he told me he liked the work I was doing. Shortly after, I had an official job interview and began working for them in October. I mentor the kids. We teach them through team building activities. We help them learn to communicate and work well together. I want to reach kids in the whole city. God is not taught to kids enough and the city needs this message. The change in the kids that we are working with shows. We often get good reports from their teachers.

“I graduated from the Spiritual Recovery Program in November 2015. Things are looking good for me! I have my diploma, my driver’s license and a job that I love! I recently moved off of HUM’s campus in December. As for the future, I’m engaged to be married on July 3rd of this year.”

Watch Aaron’s interview at our 2016 Graduation Banquet:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7XY9OguvbA

 

Elroy Hutcherson was born in Virginia and raised in West Baltimore.  “My family has always been a church family,” says Elroy.  “My four siblings and I were raised in the church.

“My dad and uncles drank.  Even though it wasn’t out of control, it was something that I noticed as a child.  When I was 16, I started smoking cigarettes and drinking beer with my buddies.

“My main motivation for drinking was fear.  I wasn’t used to hanging out with the guys.  I desperately wanted to fit in and be cool with them.  Drinking built my courage up and made me feel comfortable so that I could be more outgoing.   Eventually I started smoking marijuana as well.

“I was going to school during the day and working full time at a restaurant in the evenings.  I dropped out of school because it was just too much to try to balance both.  My grades had been suffering because of 
my schedule.

“At the age of 18, my son was born.  Drinking and smoking was a daily thing for me – every day after work.

“I met a woman and we started dating.  I moved in with her in the projects in Lexington Terrace.  She eventually became my wife.  I got a better job and started working for an insurance company.  Things were going well at first, but my drinking and drug use started to interfere with my work.  They could see what was going on.

“The company had a policy that would allow them to pay for my rehab if I was interested.  They sat me down and talked to me about it and I told them I wanted to go – I knew I had a problem.  The company flew me to a 30 day program in North Carolina in 1989.  I learned so much and stayed clean.  Being in a new environment and around new people was amazing!  I was ready to change and I felt great.

“After I completed the program, my wife and her mother picked me up at the airport.  I could smell the alcohol on them and my mind started racing.  When we arrived home, they had a surprise party waiting for me.  My mind told me to stay strong but I was overwhelmed by temptation amidst the emotions of seeing all my friends and all of the alcohol.  I gave in – after that first drink, I was back.

“I was able to keep my job.  They wanted me to go to 3 or 4 AA meetings a week.  I went, but the denial was there.  After 5 years, the company moved and I had to take severance pay.  Finding a decent job was hard because I didn’t have my high school diploma.  I started working with a healthcare union as a housekeeper.  I was there for about 9 years before I had a work accident and broke my foot on the job.  By the time my foot was completely healed, the position was no longer there.  So, I hired a lawyer and won the case.

“By then, my wife and I had split up and I was living with a new girlfriend.  In 2006, after 8 years together, my girlfriend died.  She passed away right beside me in bed one morning.  At this time, I still wasn’t working and I was suddenly in this big house all alone.  Then, I received the big lump sum from the accident and the partying started.  I had all this money and a big house to party in.  I was inviting friends over and partying became a daily thing.  I was trying to cover the sorrow and loss.  But, it wasn’t long before the bills started piling up and the money started to run out.  I couldn’t take it anymore so I turned the house over to my girlfriend’s grandkids.

“I moved in with my sister and lived there for the next 3 or 4 years but I wasn’t feeling comfortable.  In 2010, I decided that it was time to make a change.  I was 50 years old and sitting on the couch – it wasn’t working mentally or physically.

“My sister helped me find the Johns Hopkins 911 Broadway Program.  It is a recovery program and Helping Up Mission provides lodging for the men enrolled in that program.  As I lived at HUM, I met a lot of men enrolled in their residential Spiritual Recovery Program.  I loved what they have to offer, particularly in regards to education.   I started preparing to transfer into the program after I completed the Hopkins program.  But, in my fifth month in the Hopkins program, I relapsed.

“Eventually, I came back and enrolled in HUM’s Spiritual Recovery Program.  I wanted to stay clean.  I wanted to get my diploma. I earned my high school diploma after a year.  That felt wonderful. I started working in the Mission’s Innovative Learning Center for my work therapy assignment afterwards.  I was giving back to the place that had given to me – that felt so good!

“I started working at Johns Hopkins through a temp agency. I am now getting ready to become a full-time Hopkins employee as a Material Coordinator. I stock materials in the operating room that doctors and nurses use to save lives. It’s overwhelming to be a part of that.

“I know my diploma helped me get my job. I help others get their diplomas because I hope it will open doors for them like it has for me.

“I am able to face challenges today.  Life isn’t all peaches and cream but I don’t have to hide from things like I did for so long.  I am thankful to have found Helping Up Mission!”

Drew Dedrick, age 43, was raised in Columbia, MD.  “I grew up in a good Catholic family,” says Drew.  “I did well in school.  I played football, baseball and painted scenery for the drama club and was an artist for the newspaper.”

“I had always been a normal guy. As I entered middle school I got glasses, braces and crazy hair due to my many cowlicks. I wasn’t cool anymore. I desperately wanted to fit in. I felt like good students were nerds so I started making an effort not to get straight A’s.

“After high school, I enrolled in UMBC and joined a fraternity.  I did nothing but drink my entire freshman year.  I felt like it was required to be part of the crowd and it helped me to feel accepted.  By the end of my freshman year, I had failed out of college.

“I started working at Toby’s Dinner Theatre as a morning dishwasher.  Within weeks I was promoted to working with props and stage managing.  From there I became the technical director and finally a sound designer.

“In 1999, I married my girlfriend — an actress I had met at the theatre. We had a good life together. She eventually left the theatre and got a job as a teacher.

“Our first son, Martin, was born in 2004 and our second, August, arrived in 2007.  After August was born, she wanted me to get a “real job.”  She didn’t think that my job at the theatre had the long-term security that a day job could provide.  But, I was comfortable at the theatre and knew that I was very good at what I did.

“After August was born, the disconnect between us grew.  She had matured and become a proper mother but I hadn’t made that adjustment with her.  She kept asking me to drink less.  I hesitantly agreed but never made any real changes.

“We reached a point of crisis in our marriage.  She gave me an ultimatum that I needed to quit drinking, quit smoking and get my health checked out.  I told her that was a lot to ask for and I didn’t know if I could do all of it.  I went to the doctor the very next week.  I tried to quit smoking without realizing how hard it would be.  I never was able to stop drinking.  After six months, right after Thanksgiving 2013, she kicked me out. At first I fought for her and our relationship but eventually realized that it was futile — she was not going to take me back. Not being able to be with my boys was devastating.

“I still had my job at Toby’s and I would sleep in my car and at friends’ houses.  It was freezing cold and so I drank to keep warm.  My wife told me I couldn’t drive the boys anymore.  Once that responsibility was gone, I drank whenever I wasn’t at work.  I drank all day long.  I got to the point where I would shake if I wasn’t drinking.  My doctor prescribed me anxiety medication.  Because I was taking it along with drinking, I started blacking out.  I started getting progressive warnings from my boss about showing up drunk to work.

“From May to October my life was just shame upon shame.  I was hallucinating.  I was very paranoid and stopped talking to people.  I thought I was going to die – I didn’t believe I had any chance to control my alcoholism.  I was only getting ½ hour of sleep every night and drinking didn’t even get me drunk anymore.

“I finally realized that I needed help.  My step-mother helped me look for programs and found Helping Up Mission.  She brought me to HUM and I was an emotional mess.  I had been isolated for so long.  Suddenly, I was in a community of guys all working on the same thing and it was like an enormous weight had been lifted.

“I surrounded myself with good people.  For the first time in my life, I started following the rules.  Anything the staff asked me to do, I did.  I got a sponsor, a home group, developed a great relationship with my treatment coordinator, fully used my therapist and started attending church.

“As I progressed in the program, I had to decide about going back to work right away or waiting.  I prayed on it and decided to accept a work therapy assignment in HUM’s treatment office.  I wanted to give back to the place that had saved my life!  I eventually accepted an internship in the Philanthropy Department.  My family wrote a letter lashing out at me for taking an internship instead of a full-time job.  They wanted me to re-enter the workforce and provide for my boys.

“I recently was offered the opportunity to interview for a position in HUM’s Philanthropy Department as the Marketing and Communications Coordinator.  As I read the job description, I was amazed – if I could have written it myself, this is the ideal job description I would have written.  A couple of weeks later, I was offered and accepted the position.  Working at Helping Up Mission is a calling.  It’s a place where I can help save lives.

“Because I am able to live at the Mission as a residential staff member, I am saving money and able to make financial amends to my ex-wife.  My family apologized to me for writing that letter and doubting me.  They now realize that I was doing the right thing all along, by surrendering to God’s will  and am now in a position to give back to my boys immediately.”

Watch Drew’s interview at our 2016 Graduation Banquet:

https://youtu.be/Z7XY9OguvbA?t=2m21s

Darius Tabrizi was born and raised in Israel. “My mother’s family originated from Israel and my father’s family is from Iran,” says Darius. “I have a twin brother and younger sister.”

“My father came to the US to start a better life for us. We were not able to come right away because we weren’t able to leave during the war. In 1991, the Gulf War ended and my mother brought us here. I was 11 years old. I didn’t speak English when I came here – only Hebrew and Arabic. Baltimore was very different than our small town facing the Mediterranean. I was beat up within my first two weeks here.

“At the age of 14, I was introduced to marijuana and alcohol by boys in the neighborhood. My mind had always been racing and wondering what people thought of me. When I drank, it numbed that and I felt accepted.

“I had gotten into trouble for fighting in Israel and that continued at my public school in Baltimore. I was expelled from two middle schools and three different high schools for fighting. I got my GED through the Youth Corps program.

“I joined the Navy in part to escape legal issues I was facing due to serious drug charges. After finishing boot camp, I was sent to Japan. For two years – I was a great sailor. I received several commendations and awards. My alcohol use was limited to social drinking.

“The War on Terror was under way and I started experiencing racial discrimination. I tried to blend in and said I was whatever ethnicity people thought I was. That really disturbed me and I started drinking heavily. I met a guy in Tokyo who introduced me to drugs – cocaine, crystal meth and ecstasy.   For the next year and a half, I was still in the Navy but began selling drugs on the side. When I had the best looking car on base and an apartment in town, it started to raise questions.

“Unknown to me, NCIS was doing an investigation on me for six months. Just months before I was done with my tour, I was arrested and thrown in a Japanese prison. NCIS pulled me out and took me to a marine corps brig in Japan. I was there for three months – after two months, I was put into solitary confinement for fighting with a corrections officer. My JAG lawyer met with me and I was given an other than honorable discharge and was released.

“I arrived back in Baltimore broken in every way. I was 23 years old and homeless. I came to Helping Up Mission as an overnight guest. For several years I was in a cycle of running the streets hard core and then coming to a homeless shelter for a week or so to regain my strength before going back out again.

“In 2010, I went to American Rescue Workers In South Baltimore. I was tired of my lifestyle and gave my life to Christ. Life started turning around for me. I got a job at McDonalds and started running with Back on My Feet. I joined an apprenticeship program and became a really good electrician and was hired by Hirsch Electric. For the first time ever, I had my own apartment. I started my own business and was going to night classes. I celebrate 4 years clean and sober.

“My life was going great and I had so much distance from my old life that I began to forget. I put everything ahead of my recovery – I stopped going to church and meetings. I got into a motorcycle accident and starting taking pain pills. It was a quick progression from pain pills to alcohol to street drugs. Within a year, I was homeless and had lost my business, girlfriend, truck, home and my savings.

“My father died of cancer in November of 2014. It was one of the worst years of my life. I spent Thanksgiving in a rental car out of gas off of the side of the road. I was estranged from my family and all alone.

“I ran into an old friend, Barry, who works at Helping Up Mission and he told me I needed to come back. I came to the Mission in December 2014 but left to deal with legal issues. I stayed sober for a few months but eventually relapsed.

“I came back to Helping Up Mission in the spring. This time I’m doing things differently. I’m not cocky like I was before and I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

“My mom sells mushrooms at the Sunday farmer’s market under the Jones Falls Expressway. She reached out to me to find out if HUM could use any vegetables for the market. Each week, I go to the farmer’s market to help my mom and then collect the leftover produce from all the vendors to bring to HUM.

“I’ve always loved my mom dearly. It feels great to be able to help her at the farmer’s market. There was a time where she thought I wouldn’t make it. Now she doesn’t have to worry about me.

“Helping Up Mission helped me reestablish my relationship with God, reaffirm my values and learn how to handle situations and personalities that conflict with my character. I lean more on God now. I am 100% serious about and committed to my recovery this time.

“Helping Up Mission is the best. I have been to every homeless shelter, recovery house and transitional house in Baltimore. HUM is the most genuine, caring and influential program I have found. They genuinely care about you and you can feel it. It’s not about filling a bed – it’s about your future.”

Kevin Hough, age 50, grew up in West Virginia, near Charles Town. “My father left when I was 3 years old,” says Kevin. “I have one brother who is four years younger than I.

“In the sixth grade I started experimenting with drugs – pills and marijuana. When I was in seventh grade, I quit school because I wanted to go to work and make money. I worked at the race track walking and galloping horses. It was at the track that I was introduced to cocaine which was a big deal in the ’80s.

“My aunt and uncle helped me to get a job locally. At 17, I started working in Reston, Virginia as a laborer for a construction company so that I could make more money. The man who owned the company would drive us there every day. We all used every day.

“I eventually became a carpenter helping to build houses. I was able to do that much closer to home.

“I met a lady and we got a place together. We were both smoking marijuana and drinking. I didn’t let her know about my cocaine use because I knew she wouldn’t like it.

“Eventually, my addiction took over and I lost my carpentry job. I had a hard time finding consistent work. I started using more and stealing to feed my habit.   The house was eventually foreclosed on.

“I went to jail for a year for cashing a bad check. Everything was gone at that point, including my girlfriend.

“After I got out of jail, my mother and brother let me stay to get straight but I messed that up. I was homeless for about a year. I stayed in churches overnight and wandered the streets bumming money for drinks during the day.

“My Aunt Cathy stepped in and told me I could do better for myself and encouraged me to get help. After I found out about Helping Up Mission, my family drove me to Baltimore.

“Once I joined HUM’s Spiritual Recovery Program, I was ready to get started! I realized that all that time, God had been leading me to a different path.

“I started attending Miss Carol’s weekly art class. I appreciated it because it gave me time to think. I also joined the choir. We were preparing to sing at the annual graduation banquet. It helped me because it allowed me to be myself.

“I used to run in High School. When I heard about Back On My Feet’s running team at the Mission, I knew I wanted to join. When I first started with the team, I couldn’t even run a mile. The first race that I completed was a 5k and now I am training to run the half marathon at the Baltimore Running Festival in October.

“When I arrived at HUM, my teeth were down to nubs because I used to grind them a lot. Through the Mission’s dental program, I was able to get a whole new set of teeth.

“I knew that I wanted to work on my education. When I first took the placement tests for the program to earn my High School Program, I couldn’t pass them. So, I started Adult Basic Education classes so that I could pass the placement tests. After passing the placement tests, I started studying and, in February of this year, I got my High School Diploma. Now, I have the confidence to have a conversation with someone and look them in the eyes.

“I started talking with HUM’s vocational coordinator about my future. He encouraged me to get a certification. I was able to get a grant and attend CCBC for a one-year heating and air conditioning certification program.   There were still some expenses left to cover and I was able to get a scholarship from Central Scholarship and Back on My Feet helped me with the cost of my books. I’m signed up to the Advanced Electricity Class and then will take Commercial Refrigeration.

“While I continue my education, I am living in HUM’s graduate transitional housing. It’s a great opportunity. There is no way I’d be able to focus on my education without it.

“If I didn’t make the decision to straighten up my life, I’d still be out on the corner somewhere wishing I had done something. Living straight and living right has really changed me. I used to worry a lot about what people thought. Now that I know who I really am, I am at ease with myself.”

Wayne Chisolm, 44 years old, was born in Brooklyn, New York. “My Grandmother raised my 5 siblings and I,” says Wayne. “My Mom lived nearby and was in the picture but she didn’t live with us. She had a very bad drinking problem and was doing the best that she could. My Dad was very abusive to my Mom and was barely in the picture. By the time that I was 11 years old, he was gone.

“When I was growing up, I didn’t really drink. Whenever I drank, I always got sick and I hated getting sick so I didn’t do it.

“I fell into the wrong crowd at school and played hooky a lot. I got my first job when I was a junior in high school. I loved it so much that I stopped going to school.

“In 1998, I started dating a woman that I had known since we were young. We eventually became engaged. In 2000, I moved to Maryland. I was happy with my life – working jobs and living a good life.

“In 2013, at the age of 43, I started hanging out with bad company. They were smoking crack cocaine. They told me not to mess with it but I thought that I was a man, I could handle anything. I could do it once – no big deal! I was wrong – after I tried it once, I was in love. I had 5 months of hard addiction and ended up resigning from my job.

“I hadn’t lost everything yet but I knew I was out of control. I called a friend and admitted my situation to him. He told me about Helping Up Mission and I was ready to go – I was willing to do whatever it took. I told my fiancé I was going to get help. She told me she had known all along and was waiting for me to tell her.

“When I first arrived at the Mission, I was impressed with how welcoming it was. To be honest, it took me a few months to mentally commit to completing the program. I had money in my pocket and, as I looked at the doors, I knew they weren’t locked. I could leave any time I wanted to. But, I came to realize that that would defeat the purpose. I could choose to fight or surrender. I am happy to say, I never walked out that door.

“Soon after arriving, I received my first work therapy assignment – cleaning one of the bathrooms. I didn’t like it one bit. Over time, I stopped looking at it as cleaning toilets and started looking at it as a part of cleaning myself. I took that time cleaning the bathroom to think about how to work on myself. Over time, people started to notice a change in me.

“At first it was hard to get used to the other people here – there are so many different characters. That was a challenge at first for me because I used to not put up with that many people. But, I started to remember that they are human too and we are all here for the same reason – to fix ourselves.

“In addition to my work therapy assignment, I volunteered to work in the kitchen. After 4 months, my work therapy assignment was transferred to the kitchen. I love interacting with the guys in the program when I work in the kitchen! After a few months, a few intern positions opened up. I was shocked to learn that I had received one. I love being able to encourage and give advice to the men that work in the kitchen with me. It’s not just a job for me – I am invested in helping them with their life and their recovery. I know it isn’t easy to open up to people and I don’t take it for granted that they confide in me.

“I am working on getting my high school diploma. I’ve always wanted to get it but, because I always had a job, I thought I didn’t need it. I realized that if I didn’t make the time to do it now, I’d never do it and I decided to go for it.

“I joined the Helping Up Mission chapter of Back on My Feet. I had always wanted to be able to run a couple of miles and I admired the cool track suits and sneakers that the team members had. Once I joined the team I realized it was so much more. It’s about teamwork, effort and owning up to your word. When you are part of a team, people rely on you. I was worried about running because I had gained weight but no one laughed at me. It’s such a great group of people!

“My relationship with my fiancé today is amazing. After arriving at the Mission, I started talking with her over the phone. We talked every single day – praying and reading the Bible together. We waited till I was in the program for 6 months before we met up in person.

“When she first saw me again for the first time, I could see the excitement on her face. She said that I was the man she had missed. We went out to dinner and sat and talked for hours. We are still together and are doing even better than we ever had before. She is my best friend.

“I love where I am today. I like this new Wayne and I know that I will never go back to being that old guy again. The old Wayne has been cremated and gone. That’s a non-negotiable – I will never go down that route again!

Paul Bashore grew up in Salt Lake City, Utah. Along with his 3 siblings, he was raised by both parents.

“I had a good childhood,” says Paul. “In high school, my friends were older than me. When I reached 11th grade, they all graduated so I dropped out of school.

“When I quit going to school, my parents gave me the choice of getting a job and paying rent or moving out. I chose to move out. That same year I started drinking with my friends.   After my first drink, I said, ‘More, more, more!!’

“Over the next few decades, I drank heavily and moved around the country. I had a job selling basketball hoops to schools and recreation centers all over the western states. After 10 years of that job, I got tired of travelling and living in hotels.

“I settled down with a job and starting dating a girl who was big into cocaine. For the next 3 and a half years, I did cocaine and alcohol every day. I got my first DUI when I was 35 years old. I broke up with my girlfriend and moved back in with my parents. For three years in a row, I got a DUI each year.

“After my third DUI, I went to a rehab program for the first time and was introduced to AA. I stayed in the rehab program for 5 months but relapsed a month after leaving the program.

“I spent the next few years working at a motorcycle shop and drinking every evening and weekend. When the motorcycle shop closed in 2011, I started hitchhiking around the country and eventually ended up in a men’s shelter in New Orleans. I was in their program for a year and a half before I decided to start a journey.

“I scrounged up money for a train ticket to Atlanta and started hiking on the Appalachian trail with the intention of hiking to Maine. I started my hike on April 13, 2013. I soon discovered that all of the hikers would drink around their bonfires in the evenings. I started with just a drink or two but I soon realized that this lifestyle wouldn’t work well for me.

“I called my Dad from Bristol, TN and told him that I wanted to work on my sobriety. He gave me money for a bus fare to Baltimore so I could look for help. When I got to Baltimore, I needed a shelter to stay for the night so I came to Helping Up Mission.

“When I first arrived at the Mission, I was confused by what I saw. HUM looks nothing like what I was used to after seeing shelters all over the country. I had been expecting to see guys lined up with liquor bottles outside of a run-down building.

“My first night at the Mission, I stayed as an overnight guest. I noticed that HUM had a Spiritual Recovery Program and had an admissions interview. The more I saw, I thought that this seemed like the place for me.

“I quickly grew to love the program. I liked the structure and spirituality of it. I started attending AA meetings and that was very helpful to me.

“I heard that HUM offered a program to help men get their High School Diploma. I set to work immediately and got my diploma as soon as I was able to.

“After that, I heard about the opportunity to go to college. I knew that I’d deeply regret it if I didn’t take that opportunity. I’m currently studying at CCBC and eventually want to be an art therapist. Art has always been a big part of my life. Art therapy will allow me to combine art with my love of teaching. Being an art therapist requires a Masters Degree but, I decided if I go to school, I might as well shoot for the stars and go the whole way!

“I am an intern at the Mission working in the Innovative Learning Center. I oversee the computer class, supervise the learning center, do all the scheduling and help guys earn their diploma. I’m blessed to not only have earned my diploma but now I get to help other guys achieve the same thing!

“I always lived by myself but living in this therapeutic community helps me. It is an encouragement to be around other people like me. You see what not to do and you also see guys helping each other and moving forward. It’s so good to have a community of people who are in sobriety and helping each other. “

“My life is awesome today. Jesus Christ is number one in my life. After that, I am focused on school, family and helping others. I see blessings all around me and am overwhelmed with them.”